I need some help with my life.?

Question

this might seem a little deep but here goes, im a 17 year old guy and i just saw my last girlfriends profile on a social networking site and had a bit of a crisis, we were together about two years ago and before you think it its not that I'm not over her its just that seeing how she is since we were together has really made me think. right now I'm not sure what I'm asking for help with its just a strange feeling that i haven't moved on at all in two years. i haven't had a girlfriend since and have only really got properly close to one girl a few months ago before i blew that, no need to say that im still a virgin. i know im not g*y its just i find it really difficult with girls for many reasons, im very unconfident in myself when it comes to talking face to face, im realy worried about my appearance aswell. i just checked and i weigh 14st 10 (2st of which has come in the last 2 months), and im about 5ft 11 which is bordering on obese, but i do quite alot of exercise its just that i eat a lot, which comes my next problem, i dont have any self motivation. ive tried to cut down but i just cant last more than a day, its the same with college work. it just feels like theres a gap in my life and its not that i dont have things that others do, i have a ps3, 32" inch tv, surround sound, laptop, desktop, ipod touch and phones all paid for by myself with money that i get from my job. i understand that many peope may not understand what i am talking about because i have waffled on a bit but if anybody male/female with a bit of life experience does understand where im coming from then help would be greatly appreciated. thanks a lot.

Answer 1

You are suffering from inertia.  No I'm not kidding.  You can't get going because you can't get going.

If you value your life, not to mention future relationships you should consider getting rid of the technology.  Get into a nutrition class and an exercise class so you can have some good peer pressure to get you going.

If weight watchers is available try them for support.  Until you feel healthy there is no way your going to be attractive or feel confident about yourself.

Make it a point to take care of yourself and find strategies to keep you moving.  Once you get going it should be easy to keep going.  And you will be surprised at what happens to you socially.

Answer 2

definitely a hug would be good. don't worry about your weight if you and your doctor think you're healthy. sometimes over-eating is a psychological problem, though, like anorexia or bulimia. maybe consider seeing someone? sometimes depression hits really hard during the teen years and antidepressants could give you that motivation you seem to be looking for. try to just be comfortable with yourself and keep telling yourself that you have done the best you could do in every situation and what you did was great under the circumstances. I'm not telling you to get complacent; just accept what you can do and how you feel. Good luck!!

Answer 3

You sound like you need a hug.

Answer 4

It is perfectly normal for a 17 year old boy to worry about their appearance.  It is also perfectly normal to lack motivation.  It comes naturally to all teenagers.  You probably are a little overweight, but I would not say obese.  As for girls and girlfriends - to have one for two years at your age is very good going.  You will meet someone, but for now college should be your main priority.  Just concentrate on getting good grades and having fun with your mates.  Friends are much more important than getting a girlfriend.

Answer 5

I think we have all been here pal. I was much the same at your age. But things changed once I got out of full time education. It gave me the chance to really be myself rather than what people expected me to be. I really began to shine and for the first time in my life felt that people liked me for who I was rather than for the people I hung around with. That gave me extra confidence in myself and as a result I relaxed more around girls and things became a lot easier in that respect. Try not to over analyse too much.  

Answer 6

All the things you have are material things that you use on your own. It sounds as if socialising a bit more would help you. It would get you used to talking to different people - male and female. This would help with your confidence. Keep going to the gym and keep trying to eat less c**p. I go through stages where I eat like a pig and then the next week I'm back to normal again. Have you thought about travelling? I travelled around Australia and New Zealand after leaving uni and it was the best thing I ever did. I would describe myself as shy and not very confident but travelling on my own did me the world of good and I'm so glad I did it! You are still young and you will find your own way in life. Try not to judge yourself against others so much and just be yourself!