I need some help with what to say...?

Question

at my brothers wedding. I will be doing a speech as part of the actual church service. I shall be speaking on behalf of my dad (who unfortunately passed away when i was 5 and my brother was 15) ...and to convey my own feelings obviously. I want to mention our dad in the speech as i feel it is the right thing to do....but i also dont want to bring a downer on the day. Any tips?

Answer 1

Tell your brother how happy you are for him, and how you know your dad is with him in spirit and just as happy

Answer 2

I understand the fine balance.

You need to say something about your dad that will bring a smile to people's faces.  

Something like..

I know our father wouldve been very proud, if fate wouldve let him be with us now.   He taught "BOB" how to tie a necktie when he was 9, and first time out .. see how well he's done !

( joke meaning he doesnt get dressed up very often--lightens the mood..yet expresses the sentiment --keeps things light )

Of course, you'll have to think of your own fond and humorous rememberance but this is a technique

Answer 3

just be yourself and relax !!!!!

Answer 4

Your fathger died a long time ago - there is no reason why speaking of him should bring a downer on the day - surely you have happy memories of him and that's what you will be thinking about.  All happy occasion are tinged with sadness to some degree and bring up mixed emotions for people.

Answer 5

Speak from your heart.  I am sure your brother would love to hear something lovely about your dad and although he's not with you in body he will be in spirit and just a simple toast 'to a much missed but loved father' would probably be much appreciated or perhaps if you remember a funny story about your brother and dad or get your relatives to help you out on that one as everyone loves to hear an old tale. Good Luck!

Answer 6

ask your brother what he remembers of your dad as you were quite young, he will probably have some special memories that stick out in his mind, ask your mum if she and your dad ever talked about their children getting married and what his thoughts would have been. Best wishes.

Answer 7

...I wd say something like '..and I know our dad would hv been so glad on this very happy day ...'

the advice from Claire above is excellent.

in your shoes I wd decide for myself what to say rather than ask several relatives - easier in the end!

gd luck

Answer 8

You can modify as you wish but perhaps say something along the lines of "We could not let today go by without mention the deceased family members of ------- and ------- families, especially our dad ----. I am sure he is smiling down on us with pride and wishes you both all the happiness in the world.

Answer 9

Say what you want to say, then "and I know our dad, who can't be with us today, would be very proud of you." or something like that...it'll bring a tear but just a sentimental one, not a downer one.

Answer 10

You should mostly convey your own thoughts and have a very short statement "from your father" i.e. "He is looking down with his blessing" or "His love for you lives on" or "He would love (your sisters wife's name) as his own daughter I am sure"

These could all be preceeded with "though my father is no longer with us physically...."

I understand your want to balance honoring your father's memory while congratulating your brother, but remember that this is a celebration of marriage, not a memory of your fathers death.  Keep the focus on now, their relationship, their love and future - mention your father only as a passing thought, to talk too much about him would take the focus away from the Bride and Groom.

Answer 11

LORD WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY FOR THIS SPECIAL CELEBRATION FOR MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE

AND ALL THOSE THAT ARE HERE,THAT YOU MAY BLESS

THEM,IN THIS BEAUTIFUL SERVICE AND MY DAD WHO IS  WITH US IN SPIRIT,AND WITH LOVE I  PRAY,

Ph'p:4:8: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Ph'p:4:9: Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR WIFE AND ALL THOSE THAT ARE IN THE HOUSE OF GOD.

JUST BE YOURSELF WHEN YOU SAY YOUR SPEECH

AND BE HAPPY FOR YOUR BROTHER AND HIS WIFE TO

BE.YOU CAN DO IT,HAVE FUN.

Answer 12

Just focus on the positive things your father did.  Maybe a nice story involving your father that can give everyone a boost.

Answer 13

at the library there are books on wedding speeches. how to write them and ideas including paragraphs you could use. also ask family and friends for memories funny and tender. we used a library book when hubby was best man..

Answer 14

Be honest, speak with confidence, and try to concentrate on good and positive things.

Don't be afraid to put some humour in your speech, nothing silly, but keep it light hearted. Write everything down that you would like to say, then read it through, but don't make it too long.

I think you should be fine, but above all, be yourself, express yourself in a genuine way.

Good luck, hope all works out well.

Answer 15

just say he smells of horses danglers