I need some one-liners to shut them up?

Question

"you'll die whether you eat right or not"

"My grandpa ate lard every day and lived to be 100."

"Look at him, he smokes 2 packs a day and he's still alive!"

"If God didn't want us to eat steaks, what did he give us cows for?"

What do you call a vegetarian? A salad shooter!

I live on veggies too- the cow eats the corn, and I eat the cow!

And so many more. I'm strangely fine with being the butt of jokes, but these are getting sooo old.

All questions and comments I have to answer every time I am forced to reveal I am a non-smoking, non-drinking vegan, for health reasons. AAAGH! I am getting so sick of it. I need some good zingers. Some killer one-liners that will shut them up and make them think. Any help from the witty ones on YA?

Answer 1

Shut up. For real. We can do what we want as meat eaters. Do you feel bad for an ant when a spider eats it? I doubt it. So why are you mad at us meat eaters for eating Animals. When Snakes, spiders, and even some elaphants eat meat also. Its just how we were raised.

Answer 2

why are you FORCED to reveal anything about your eating habits?...just eat what you like and don't eat what you don't like and stop telling the world you are a vegan.  if you stop annnouncing it, it won't be an issue.

Answer 3

The chances are that one liners will silence few.  It will cause even more response from most.

Answer 4

Wow, I think you need some new "friends".

Just ignore them, eat your salad, and don't preach.

Answer 5

My personal manta

"I'd rather live a life of conviction than one of ease."

Answer 6

'Yeah I may be a vegan but I'm an animal when I want to be!'

Answer 7

Honestly, just tell them how you feel.  It's better than getting in some one-liner war.

Answer 8

i always like to say..'yea, well, when i'm fifty, i'll make sure to jog by your house and wave hello at you through your window, as you sit there 100 pounds heavier on an oxygen tank.' and just smile.

:)

I see it this very day myself. Both my parents are omnies..both not even fifty yet..but my mom's got high cholesterol and my dad's got high blood pressure.

The doctor's recommended they go AT LEAST vegetarian, if not vegan..

but there they are, upstairs, eating their fast food and ice cream..

it's sad to think people will actually be living this way, while us vegans (and vegetarians too, i guess) will be out playing laser tag with our grand kids..makes me smile.

Answer 9

I think you'll shut them up  more quickly if you just smile and say nothing. They're only trying to justify their unhealthy lifestyle.

Answer 10

how bout:

meat is murder!

tasty tasty murder...

Answer 11

I get that c**p all the time. I just say "You can eat all the cruelty you want, I personally don't like the taste." Usually, they get the message and shut up. If they don't, I just change the subject. There is just so much ignorance I can handle.

Answer 12

How about...

-If you knew how meat was made, you'd probably lose your lunch.

-Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his little animal friends.

-

I will not eat anything that walks, runs, skips, hops or crawls.  God knows that I've crawled on occasion, and I'm glad that no one ate me.

-We all love animals.  Why do we call some "pets" and others "dinner?"  

-I think if you want to eat more meat you should kill it yourself and eat it raw so that you are not blinded by the hypocrisy of having it processed for you.  

-All those animals live a pretty dreary life, then they get chopped up and put on a griddle.

Those are just a few.

Answer 13

This site shows comebacks for when someone tries to prove a vegetarian wrong..

http://www.peta.org/Living/at-fall2000/s...

Good luck! ;D

Answer 14

I worked at a hotel where the staff had to eat with the guests (Club Med).   Any worker who didn't eat meat had to answer questions for the entire meal.  As if it were anyone else's business what you eat or don't eat.  I was amazed at how brash some people were.

The only thing that worked is to turn the tables on them.  Once you understand that they are not evil, it gets easier.  It is natural for people to be curious.  In 10 years they will be paying attention to their diets too.  

Say to them "What is the best approach to eating? What works for you?"     Now you are not asking because you care about what they eat.  YOu don't.  But people love to talk about themselves more than anything.  So let them blather on and on while you eat.   If they stop talking , say "Have you changed what you eat in the last few years?"  (don't say something leading like   "because the food supply is tainted" or they will be mad that you are lecturing them..... even tho they didn't mind lecturing you).

Try to turn this into something fun.  It's not really fun but you are turning the tables on them and that is a bit of fun.

Answer 15

You owe no one an explanation.  And, if you must you can say  " I've choosen to eat/live this way.....is that a problem for you?"

I do think that you wouldn't bring it up at all if you didn't want the attention.

Answer 16

I personally LOATHE the "you're going to die from something" or "my friend's grandpa lived to be 100 and he ate bacon every day".

I have resigned myself to just smile and not say anything.  There's really nothing I can say to someone who seriously thinks that because one person can eat bacon and live to be 100 then we all can.  There is no logic there.