I need some people's advice..?

Question

I'm having a VERY hard time coping with things right now in the love department. I fell head over heals for this guy that i thought for sure would be the one I'd eventually end up with. He told me he'd date me someday soon, but that day never came. Then he tells me one day that he doesn't see me as a possible girlfriend. It destroyed me. But, We still hung out a lot, and we ended up gettn sexually involved. Months go by and the same thing happens..we hang out, and something sexual happens. Now after all this stuff i fall even HARDER for him. I go through all this stuff w/ him because each time he acts like he wants me, he'll hold my hand, flirt with me, give me all the false hope in the world, and then shut me down. I've broke down to him a few times about this situation of wanting him, and us hooking up but him not having ne feeling for me. He says he warned me in the past he didn't want me that way, but he doesn't know why he's doing sexual stuff with me ( cause he's not really a sexual person). It's so hard for me to say no cause i like him SO much. Now, he's back in school, busy with sports, doesn't have the internet, and i don't have a cell to call/text him. I miss him SO much. I've been so miserable thinking about him. It's hard to balance all this because he's also my best guy friend. He was there for me this summer when basically all my other friends turned against me. He helps me through sooo much. I'm depressed as h**l cause I want what he doesn't. Some people say he's took advantage of my feelings and used me sexually. This situation is messing me up SOOO badly!! ANY HELP!?!?!

Answer 1

He did use your feelings for him to his advantage sexually.  As girls we equivocate s*x=love.  sometimes when someone we want so badly has knowledge of our feelings for them, they use it against us.  He's a walking male appendage.  Tell him you appreciate the help with the problems you had over the summer but don't think you will be paying for the gratitude with your heart and body any more.  Stay away from him and let him see how much he misses you.    

Answer 2

He isn't worth your time, and it sounds like he was just using you.

Just stop trying to contact him, you are only prolonging the inevitable. Time will help you to get over him. Start actually dating someone else as soon as you feel ready.

Answer 3

Any guy that tells you they are not a sexual person is lying.  He probably is not intentionally using you.  He gets a mild interest when you guys are together.  He is not as into you as you are into him, but he is not uninterested in every way.  You have differing degrees of interest and that is creating the problem.

1) guys always like s*x from most any person of the s*x that they find attractive.

2) The fact that he like you to that degree means that he has some amount of physical desire for you.

3) He is your dream guy, so you are hoping for anything that indicates he has come around.  

4) He is a little interested.  You are up for whatever hoping against hope that it turns into to something more.  He satifies his interest in whatever, figures you understand because he told you he was not interested in a relationship.

5) He thinks she is so into me she will settle for a casual friends with benefits.

6) You think maybe the fact that we are making out again means that he finally wants to be with me the way I want.

7) Your choices are (1) accept his terms, (2) be his friend and nothing else, or (3) end the relationship.  (If you cannot reasonably do choice number 2 and 1 is emotionally difficult, your only choice is choice 3).