I need some serious advice, my boyfriend has a baby......?

Question

me and his family on his mother side of the family gets along pretty well and me and his brothers and lil sister gets along but his step dad doesn't get along and me and him been together for 1 year and when we first got together his ex was already pregnant but nobody knew not even her. So through out our relationship I had some problems out of her trying to make passes at my boyfriend and other things. But when his baby came to his house his mama doesn't care but his step-dad doesn't want me around until the baby knows who her real mother is and starts to walk, but when it comes to the baby I'm not tying to be her mommy or anything i just love my man and enjoy being around his family and every time he says I cant be over his house when his step dad is around and it really hurts my feelings can someone give me advice.

p.s. I'm 18 and hes not only my boyfriend hes more of my best friend too.

Answer 1

Honey, run as fast as you can. I would not recommend a step family to anyone. I'm living through it as we speak. I love my husband more than the world itself, but the issues (his son, baby mama, in laws) that come with it drive me MAD! Would never recommend it. Seriously!

Answer 2

ouch i have been in that situation. apparently i had to let him go because i didn't want to be a step mother to the child. i loved him but it couldn't work out.. now i'm not saying you should dump him.. but it will be a really difficult, tight life for ya. there will be jealousy's, anger, heart breaks throughout this upcoming years but hopefully you'll ge through it! ^^ goodluck!

Answer 3

Well its his house and his rules... It sounds like you and your b.f. might need to start looking for jobs (if you dont already have them) and move out. Honestly i read that

"I'm not tying to be her mommy or anything i just love my man and enjoy being around his family"

Well his baby is his family and im glad you wanna stick by your man but and his siblings and what not but you also need to be a good role model for his child. Im a stepmother of my husbands twins and i've dealt with his babies mom trying to sleep with him and use the kids but im with him cause i trust him PERIOD. As for OUR children i will never replace there mother nor will i try to turn them agaist her or speak ill about her because its hard enough being a kids without putting extra c**p into there lil heads. I think you should respect his dads rules as unfair as you think they are and talk to "your man" about it. He's a father now too so he needs to get off his *** n step his game up and sorry to break it to ya but if you plan on making a life with him you better quit worrying about the petty **** and get your *** moving that kid require attention, shelter, food, clothes etc... and you are involved!

Answer 4

well, it seems like your problem is more with his stepdad. until your stepdad accepts both of you, there's nothing you can do. let your boyfriend know how you feel. talk about how you are feeling and maybe let other family members know. but be very cautious. this is obviously a very tense period, so i wouldn't be too harsh and judgmental.

letting your boyfriend know that you stand by him, i think will make a difference. his and your family should not keep you apart.

Answer 5

Um....it isn't all about you any longer. That's what happens when people make babies....it becomes all about the child and the child's needs. You shouldn't be around when he is caring for the child....not b/c other people don't get along with you or b/c you are a bad person, but b/c the child needs time to bond with daddy...and you are there interfering with that time....even if you don't mean to. Since I don't know how often the child is there, I can't say if it is reasonable. If the child lives with your bf full time, then of course you should be allowed to come around occasionally, but I would focus on him going out to see you instead of dividing his time between you and the baby.....if the child lives with the mom and your bf has weekend or some visitation, then that time should be reserved for him and his child.

Answer 6

You should talk to the stepdad, or write him a letter. If you want to prove you aren't trying to replace the mom, get something for the mother that shows you support her

Answer 7

I don't think the baby has anything to do with the fact the step-father not liking you.  Your boyfriend is obviously okay with the way his step-father is treating you, and until he resolves that issue, then it's best to just take a step back.

Answer 8

Wow. You think with him being a step parent, he'd have more compassion towards the situation. Listen, he's your boyfriend. Yes, his baby should always come first, but other than that, don't let yourself be cheated out of your relationship. Talk with his family, explain that you don't want to steal this child, you just want a healthy relationship with your boyfriend, and maybe that means getting to know his child as well. Don't worry, a baby knows who it's mother is. It's an instinctual bond.

Answer 9

Get out now, while you still can.

Be his friend and offer support from the side line.  

Answer 10

For as long as you live, YOUR Feelings will be secondary to the fact that he is dad to a child - it's a blood-bond.

Accept it, live with it - or find someone else.

Answer 11

u should have a talk wit ur man and his x and set things straight.....his step dad shouldnt have a say in anything its his grand daughter not daughter

Answer 12

I wouldn't have anything too do with them except the baby

try getting vegetating rights too see the baby.

but dont have anything too do with the stepfather and other girl