I need some serious help with my dad...HELP..(10 POINTS)...?

Question

Ok my parents just divorced like a year and a half ago....Because he was cheating on my mom with this women named Rita.....And supposly they had already been dating for like almost TWO YEARS....

So there still kicking a lot and almost going on 4......And I have only seen her 3 times over dinner with her my older sis and my dad......

So he is about to move houses in a few months and there is nothing wrong with wat he has now.....but he wants a bigger one....but why a bigger one....So im thinking there moving in together meaning at times I will live there to....So like there is nothing wrong with her..shes nice but why won't he say anything to me....cause if there moving in together...this means there going to get married(4 years!!)......So like im trying to figure out wats going on with him...should I ask him wats going on or should I just wait and see wat happens..........And also wat do you think of this situation???.

PLEASE HELP IM CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Ok maybe ur dad wants a bigger house so u could have a room there when u vist him  

Answer 2

I think you have a right to know exactly what is going on, this has been a very confusing time for you, and it must have been very difficult. I would ask him what his plans are, if he does plan to remarry or not, and where you are expected to live, and also if he is planning to extend his family to fill the extra space in the new house. If you can't face actually saying the words, write him a note and ask him to read it, include you questions and ask him to answer them, sit with him while he reads it. Don't forget to say that you like the lady he is moving in with, you don't want to make accusations, you just want to know where you stand. Good luck and I hope you find out and are happy x

Answer 3

You seem like you are very young, doesn't really matter your age. A child can understand things better than adults sometimes and it's possible on the flip side.

I think if you are telling us that she is so nice and you don't think anything is wrong with her...what's the big deal about him re-marrying?? Maybe you really aren't ok with it and you are trying to justify by telling us 'nothing is wrong with her'

I think you should talk to your dad, if it helps...write down what you are confused about and ask him. This way you don't feel like you still have questions when you both are finished talking. She will be your step-mother not your mother. Sit your dad down and let him know what's on your mind. He is your father, he'll get it!!! Good Luck!!!  

Answer 4

Not everything results in marriage! You should sit down with your dad and speak to him explain you would just like to be informed of whats happening instead of being kept in the dark, maybe moving house is a fresh start for him, if you like this Rita obviously it will always be a sore spot because i was in the same situation and I hated the other  woman (*****) because my moms my mom and i would stand by her no matter what, but if you get on with her (and say you like her) then this will make your dad not worry about treading on egg shells or keep things from you because if he tells you things then he knows it wont upset you......by the way it went all horribly wrong for me and my sis & we don't see him anymore as he chose her (div) but me and my sister at first were hurt but now were older (20 & 14) we realize....he's the one that's missed out.

Answer 5

I'd talk to him as soon as possible. It's better to talk to him now and to work things out now, then to wait until everything just fine and dandy. Just talk to him.  

Answer 6

wait a little bit.

then just ask him.. you have a right to know.

Answer 7

ASK HIM... I am a Mom and sometimes I don't want conflict with my kids however this is the kind of questions you need answers to.

Good Luck

Answer 8

idk.

i think u should step up and ask...

maybe they want a bigger family? or just more room?  

Answer 9

Sit down with him and discuss your feelings.

Answer 10

i know it can be hard to accept this situation, but the best thing you can do is be there for him and stand by his side. He is obviously making sure that you are and always be a part of his life, but people move on relationship wise. I would just try to get to know this new woman and accept her for your father's sake. You will always be in his heart and number one, so stick by him and try to make this transition as easy as possible. Have you thought about her (rita's) thought and feelings about this? I'm sure she is worried about being accepted by you being that there was a divorce. Just sit down with your dad and talk it out, don't hold questions and feelings in, it causes more problems than it solves! Good luck, and i hope you figure this out!

Answer 11

I think you should talk to your dad and tell him how you feel. That if he has been in a relationship with this women for 4 years you should at least know a little more about her if she is part of his life. Tell him what you think of everything so he knows, he may be trying to protect you from getting to know her in case they break up but i don't think he should still feel that way(if he does) after dating her for 4 years. And maybe he does want to move in and getting married but the only way your gonna find out the truth is to ask him. Your dad probably doesn't realize how you are feeling about this and its a good idea to let him know. I'm sure he will understand and explain everything to you because you deserve to know, your his daughter!

Answer 12

Your dad did not do the right thing by cheating on your mom, but you never know their situation. But at this point he has a right to move on and you should not make him feel guilty about it (I'm sure your mom takes care of that). Perhaps they are thinking of expanding their family since they are "expanding'' their home. You can ask him in a nice way what is going on, but unless he is ready to talk to you you should not push him. Don't forget that he may feel guilty towards you for breaking the family apart  so he does not know how to approach the subject. I think if try not to hold a grudge against him for what happened he will open up to you and let you now himself. Like I said you never know what his reason was for cheating on your mom, I know its difficult to understnad someone who cheats but he is your father and you have to try.  

Answer 13

Mine divorced too, i know what you are going through. Maybe they want children if their own? I'm not sure, it might just be a mid-life crisis dont worry.

Answer 14

you dont need a professional.....since i dont know how old you are im assuming youre 12-14 years old....so you should be old enough to know whats happening.....go and have a nice talk with him and tell him how much you love him and stuff......and that there is nothing to hide from you cause you guys a familiy.....family should be one.....so just have a 1 on 1 talk with your dad and listen and ask him to explain at least some part of whats going on......im sure theres nothing much wrong just needs to be clarified.....good luck......

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Answer 15

U should definately talk 2 him . i have asked and my dad was very releived that i asked him.

Answer 16

im confused too hunn

Answer 17

You should talk to your dad, especially if you live there some of the time. He may not want to bring it up with you because he did cheat on your mother with this women, and he may feel ashamed about that. But, if you're going to be there, you have a right to at least know if he's going to make a big change such as moving into a new house, (which he told you) he should tell you if she's moving in. Tell him you think so, and talk about it with him. :) You're still his daughter, first.  

Answer 18

You should talk to him. Ask him what is going on. Make him aware that you do like Rita and all, but you just want to know whats going on. Hope this helps!

Answer 19

I think the situation is a little messed up. But if your dad doesnt love your mom anymore you cant blame him. You want him happy right? I would talk to him about it you have a right to know.  

Answer 20

OMG! same with me..but ma parents devoriced  wen i was lyk 5! but ma parents were never married

well i bet they are moving in together! i was lyk devistated wen i found out thet they were moving in together! but i was also 5 lol..but still..u should ask him?? he'll tell u if ur straigt up??

well for me this situation was horrible..it was reely weird..lyk 1 time i was 6 nd on actident i called her mom..nd i was still living with ma mom nd ma dad nd i was balling! 2 ma mom that i called her mom lol i hope this makes sence! but anyway..wen i get mad @ ma step mom..(yes shes ma step mom now..eeek!) i always feel that she lyk took ma moms place?? idk its just a horrible felling!

but now i just get used 2 it? i only c them lyk a couple times a year..so wutever..they can do wut htey want! i live with ma mom!

im soooo sry that this same situation!

im sooo sry that u have to go thro this! but u will get thro it just as i did :) hope this helps! nd gud luk with every thing!  

nd OMG! im 13 2!!!!

Answer 21

If he wants to get a bigger house, maybe they are going to get married and have kids? I have a similar situation, my parents are divorced and remarried. Here's my advice. Tell him up front that you are disappointed in what happened with him and your mom, but you are willing to make an effort to get to know the new woman. It sounds to me like he loves her, but doesn't quite know how to tell you that, since you will (and should) take your mom's side in every arguement. Give him a chance and roll with it for a while. But make sure he knows how you feel about the situation. Being up front and honest with him makes things way easier! Good luck!

Answer 22

I think you should sit down and talk to your dad about it.

Cause I went through something really similar to this when I was a kid and i think one of the things I regretted most was not sitting down with my dad and talking about everything.

I'm sure he'd sit down with you, and help you to understand what was up :]

Answer 23

I take it that you are okay with your father and his 'girlfriend' being together, but that you don't like not knowing why they are doing what they are doing.  So ... just get your dad alone in a comfortable place and tell him that you are confused, and would like to know what is going on.  It's a sad thing that many children would like to know why their parents do the things they do, while the parents think the children don't even notice.  I was a good mother, but occasionally my kids would ask me why I was doing something they found confusing ... I was usually shocked that they even noticed, but always told them the truth.  So, have a talk with your dad, and you'll probably be very surprised at the 'straight answers' you get ... but be polite, and don't cry if you don't like his answers.  Parents don't always to what their children think is best, and it's up to you to be as nice as you can to him, so he'll continue to be as nice as he can to you.  

Answer 24

I'd ask straight out. Leave no question as to what you are asking. You have every right to ask. I think some men behave very badly, and the only thing you can do about it is wait and see. Wait and see if they grow out of it, or if it is a pattern. Good luck.

Answer 25

my parents are divorced to it was hard at first but just wait a while maybe he will open up when he is ready but if you think its taking to long for him to talk just casual ask him maybe he will tell you just do not stop trying    

Answer 26

just talk to your dad, he's your father no matter what and if you tell him how you feel without arguing, he will so what he can do make you feel better and clearer about the situation.

x

Answer 27

divorces are always confusing and an emotional rollercoaster. Just ride it out and let it grow on you, your dads just acting diffrent probly because he has changed since divorcing ur mom. Everything will be fine after a few months...

Answer 28

see a proffessioanal

Answer 29

just ask Dad what his plans are? Im sure he will tell you.

Answer 30

i think you should talk with hem, his your father....this is the best way....but wi don't you Wait to see wat would happen.this situation is dificile

Answer 31

It's okay to ask him Lily, he is like anyone else who wants something bigger and nicer. I'm guessing they have you in mind too because they want to give you a bigger room.