I need something funny right now?

Question

ok who ever can say the funniest thing [[idc what it is or about as long as its funny]] gets a best anser.

so make me laugh =]

Answer 1

okay  thats easy. I know 1000000.0000000 jokes. Heres one: Clark had to apologize for forgetting his aunts birthday. so he wrote her a letter, Dear aunt berma, I'm sorry for forgetting your birthday, and it would serve me write if you forget mine, which is next Friday.

Answer 2

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver

won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'



She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as

I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see

and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could

say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:  #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and

I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a

Halloween party.'

Answer 3

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports

commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they

would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from

Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up

and it was amazing.

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and

I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her

mother.

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents,

especially my mother and father.

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even

some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that

serious.

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should

think we can expect the same thing again.

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the

opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all

over their faces.

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the

wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the

British crew.

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian D*cks is everywhere.

It's like they've got eleven D*cks on the field.

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing

so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes

out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I

just said?'