I need to break up with my boyfriend because of complex issues, is a letter ok??

Question

I get very anxious and emotional when talking about serious things, but i need to break up with my boyfriend for various reasons and i know i would get too anxious to remember what i wanted to say if i just talked face to fae with him. Is it alright to write it all in a letter and just give it him so he can read it whilst im there and an ask me anything he wants???

Thanks x

ps we have been together for almost 3 years

Answer 1

no u need to tell him a letter hurts so much cuz then he will wonder y u didn't tell him to his face      it hurts to get a letter and it says were over or something like that u need to tell him to his face...

Answer 2

the letter is a very good idea since you get nervous in this kind of situation.....and it should be presented whilst you are present ....not posted.

Answer 3

dont do it in a letter or over the phone....write down little notes on a piece of paper or index cards and talk to him face to face....its only fair to him.

Answer 4

sound ok,as long as you are there,say why you are breaking up,dont give him febble excuses just be honest with him.

Answer 5

Just talk to him

Answer 6

phone would probably be better so you can talk things over....

have notes ready if you need so you can remember what to say.

good luck hun.

x

Answer 7

It's probably better than a text message which seems to be the method of choice.....

I too express myself better in writing than I do face to face so I can understand why you prefer to do it this way...I guess if you're there while he reads it, that would be OK.  

Answer 8

I think you should call him, that way he can really hear your fustrations, then he can give his side of things, that way youre both giving each other a fair chance to express your feelings, if you write a letter then he wont have that chance to respond and he will be heart broken and will probably quote that same letter over and over. i just dont think it will be fair for a person to recieve a "dear john" letter w/ out a fair shot at defending themselves. It's very responsible and good of you to want to at least let him go w/ talking to him but either call or face him, he would have to respect you more for doing it this way and youll gain confidence for yourself as you stated you tend to get nervous about things like this, this will teach you standing up for yourself in other situations non related, Good Luck, just my opinion, even if you write the letter it's not totally a bad thing, just seems a little shady and as if your hiding something is all..

Answer 9

Please don't be 2 hasty i'm going through a break up now and I can't tell you how much it hurts so please try and work through your issues and sort something out

Answer 10

you have to talk

Answer 11

I can understand your problem Kattay. If the differences between you are fairly complex sitting down and explaining them all face to face is NOT easy and if you are easily stressed out there will be things you do not get around to saying, or do not explain fully.

Yes, I think it is a sensible idea to put down all your thoughts into a letter.  You are not trying to kop out or evade the issue at all.  this way you will be able to give all your reasons without being constantly interrupted or diverted away from the subject. As you intend sitting with him while he reads it so you can talk about the various points it is a sensible and honourable way of doing things.  Good for you.

Answer 12

Yes. I think the letter is a perfect way. You are going to be there while he reads it, so that's fine. It will let you share everything you need so you dont forget which is important so that he knows exactly why you are ending it.  

Answer 13

just talk to him and hopefully what you have to say will flow out of your mouth! ...good luck and remember he may be hurt after this