I need to change my mentality, I have cold mean thoughts in my head.

Question

I'm not a mean person, but I can be. I never make fun of someone to their face but I have talked about ppl behind there backs and it is very childish. I don't want to judge others like I do, I am insecure in myself and it helps me in the moment but then I constantly feeled judged because I do it. Thoughts in my head are mean. I need to stop judging, it's ruining my life. I feel bad and will tell myself it is wrong but it's become natural. What should I do?

Answer 1

stop....

Answer 2

I have times when I'm like that.

But recently, I haven't been like it. I have been happier, more confident. Maybe finding out why you're like that would stop it. There is a reason you do what you do and maybe try and find out why.

I got my hair done (sounds lame) but now I am much more confident about what I look like and I don't have to kidd about other people and make fun of them. God bless.  

Answer 3

we all have moments of pure evil --even if just in our thoughts.

I've had a lot mean thoughts and sinful ones too but it's something we can lessen. we can't completely take it out of our system coz it's part of being human. but props to you for being consciously concerned about it. if people were more like you, then all of us will not be thinking about this or this way again...:)

the next time a mean thought comes in..focus on being positive..think that there are always two sides to an opinion and to a person's story or personality. think about yourself instead and put yourself in the shoes of that person and then sure enough, you'll start not thinking about mean things. just make a conscious effort to stop yourself whenever you feel that you are saying something bad...

i also think that a great factor to this is the people who are with you.. if you surround yourself with nice, optimistic people --those who know sincerity and have more KIND and ASSURING words to give than the Bible. -- then it wouldn't be so hard to practice and learn to be nice and sincere...don't hang out with people who are judgemental and who always spend their time finding faults in other people...

learn to accept your own faults and weaknesses to greatly appreciate how special another person is...we all are created equal.

you already have the heart to change...you just need to follow-through .

take it easy! hope it works for yOU! :)

Answer 4

If you can't say something nice then don' say anything.

If you can't say it to the persons face then you shouldn't say it.

Answer 5

I think you should just try to find a good thing about the person you are judging. Like if their shirt is weird maybe their hair looks good. Or try to put yourself in their place to figure out why they are like that like if they are really dirty they could be poor. Or just look away if you find flaws in them and think of something else.

Answer 6

if you realize it is not nice and you really want to change

than you can

just stop and try thinking nice thoughts

be nice to people

life is short and we should make the most of our lives

you will see if you are nice to people if will come back

to you and you will feel good too

take care and good luck

Answer 7

the next time you think you are going to say something put yourself in their shoes and just try hard to not say anything..thinking it may be a mental thing..lots of us humans do this type of thing...some more extreme... I like saying that I treat people like I want to be treated.

I worked with people like this and thank God I am not there but I was for a long time and one particular woman honestly it's like she fed off of making others feel badly and sat at home at night making lists up of what evil she could cause the next day at work.  SHE will always stick in my head of who not to be like.

Answer 8

Do Yoga or Visit any psychology doctor.You must have to be busy every time.

Answer 9

I have the exact same problem. It's even gotten to a point where I have the deepest hatred towards someone but I won't do anything about it, although I do wish I could smack her in the face. See? Childish. What I've done is told myself that I need to accept it. It's me. But I'm also trying to stop because I'm being treated the way I treat others, which is probably what is making me do it. But it is also what is making me stop, because it hurts.

Answer 10

maybe try talking to a therapist who can help you figure out why you feel insecure and help you not feel that way. once you feel better about yourself, that cold mentality will start to go away