Question:

I need to cheer myself up - having a kak night. So would you like me to share my jokes?

by | earlier

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

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How do men define a "50/50" relationship?

We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

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What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.

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How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

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What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.

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What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

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What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

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Lol Honey not every one is the same but have a real chill and call them what ever you want .and tomorow,Love them and give them all we stupid females always do.Kiss and make up.xxxx
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Q.   How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

A.   One, she holds the bulb in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Q.   How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

A.   Three, one to change the bulb.  One to moan and groan and whinge and whine about how oppressed the bulb is and one to secretly wish she were the bulb.

Q.   Why do women have legs?

A.   Well, you have seen the mess snails make.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
hahahahahahahhahahahahhhahahahahahhahaha...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Yeah, many men really don't know how to treat their women.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Hilarious! oops. Looks like we're in a room full of sour apples.

My favourite:

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
dont you have a man skyli, come on. That is some bs i never expected from you.

"What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy" come on.

How about a man who doesnt want a b1ow job?
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Haha...I've got one about Scots...no offence to Scottish people out there! I've got some in my family so yeah.

Ok-what's the difference between a Scotsman and a canoe?

A canoe tips often.

What's the difference between a Scotsman and a coconut?

You can get a drink out of a coconut.

How do you disperse of an angry Scottish mob?

Pass round a collection box.

Or this one about us Welsh...what is one thing a Welshman says that you must never believe?

"I was just helping the sheep over the fence."
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Charming...
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All men are not bad.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Good lol! =D (dunno why it it's in South Africa section though?)
Report (0) (0) | earlier
What can I say and there is no sour grapes..Lol. However please let me remind you of this -

Woman has MAN in it;

Mrs. has MR . in it;

Female has MALE in it;

She has HE in it;

Madam has ADAM in it;

No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....

Why?

BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Lol - i love the 50/50 relationship and the last one, so true and thanks for the laugh
Report (0) (0) | earlier
i'm guessing you're having man trouble....
Report (0) (0) | earlier