I need to find a 2 minute monologue?

Question

I need a 2 minute monologue for an audition at my local children's theater. I'm 14, it can be comedy or drama. I'm just having trouble finding anything i like. oh yeah no swearing please.

Answer 1

SMILEY

(To the person offstage right.) Yes, Iris! I see you. I'll be there in a minute. (Drains her coffee. Then, to Sincerity.) And: No. I'm not bitter. I just don't see why she got the plumb job of hosting our Tenth Anniversary Pre-show Interview? They couldn't get somebody a little higher-profile than her? I mean, we are national... h**l, we're international tv stars! We've been Number One in our time slot for almost all of the time we've been on the air. What's the Stick ever done? [Besides...] I don't "think" she's after my job. I know it. I keep my eyes and ears open. You know she's sleeping with Terry. How did you think she got her own show last fall? Talent? [Of course, they pulled it after three episodes but still. That’s all the more reason] why Terry needs to find something else for his love-muffin to do. And why go to all the work of trying to create and sell a new show when you can just make a little room for her on a top-rated show that you already own? Of course, it won't happen overnight. No. You have to do these things carefully, little by little, you have to make sure that it all happens quietly. That way Britanny can get what she wants, Terry can keep on getting what he wants... for as long as he wants. Everybody's happy. (Beat, a wicked, musing smile begins to show.) Unless of course, the boys in "post" s***w up so badly that you have to put a woman who has nothing to lose ---the woman you're trying to ditch--- on the air... in a live tv broadcast over which you have little or no control. Then things might not go quite so according to plan. Maybe I'll go BALLISTIC on the air!?! Huh? How would that be? Maybe I'll just go NUTS and tell the whole world what these ungrateful, back-stabbing creeps are up to? HUH!?! HOW 'BOUT THAT!?! HOW WOULD THAT BE!?! (Beat. (Beat, the fantasy loses its charm, wind goes out of her sails.) Or maybe... I'll just behave like a professional and get on with things since there's nothing I can do about it anyway. [If I complain] they can accuse me of trying to poison the working atmosphere and I'm gone. Freak out on the show? Unprofessional conduct and I'm gone. Either way, I'm gone. (Smiley notices the "return" of Iris offstage.) Oh look who's back? What the matter, Iris? Did you miss me? (Smiley heads for the exit, then stops and turns back, about to say something else but apparently silenced before she can do so by the continued glare from offstage. She turns back to "face" Iris, planting a fist on one hip and glares right back.) Oh you so don't want to give me that look at this hour of the morning, Iris. (Beat.) I'm warning you, woman: I am only three coffees into a six coffee morning...