I need to get my 8-year-old moving in the morning. How?

Question

I have an 8-year-old son who, no matter what, will not get moving in the morning. My wife and I have tried everything from rewards to punishments, and nothing seems to work. We discuss this problem almost nightly, and he promises to try harder in the morning, but to no avail. Do we just need to start making things so uncomfortable for him in the morning that he can't help but get going. He wakes up alright, but won't move once he's up and about. Wanders around, plays with the cat, watches TV ... anything to keep from getting dressed, eating breakfast and brushing his teeth. He has three small jobs (those previously mentioned) in the morning, and he drives his mother crazy with his dawdling. We're close to the cold water shower in the morning if something doesn't change. Anything work for you out there that might help us out?

Answer 1

I had that problem with my son, now his bedtime is an hour earlier. He has been good ever since!

Answer 2

I went thru this too until I couldn't do it another day. First, bedtime at least 1 hour earlier. Thats in bed, no TV or games. A book maybe for a few minutes, that helps me sleep. He needs to be in bed at 8pm anyway at his age. In the morning there is NO TV. None. When he gets up he needs to hit the bathroom and then dress before he does anything else, not even coming out of his room after the bathroom. If he misses breakfast thats his problem. He already now knows you are going to make him get ready so he doesn't have to be responsible. If he goes to school a few times holding his shoes and hungry it makes a quick difference. Every thing is laid out the night before so there is no thinking either. Books in the bag, home work included.

It sounds like he really just has pulled one over on you guys. Its time to make life easier for Mom not him. Remember no TV, that makes every one late.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Assuming that your child is getting enough sleep (10 hours), I would look to see what he is attempting to accomplish by not getting ready.

I would bet that one of two things are happening...

1 (most likely) something is going on at school/daycare that is causing him to not want to be there...and by delaying his morning actions, he is attempting to control his fake.

2 (less likely but still possible) he is craving attention from you and mom, and the best/easiest way he can get it is through his negative behavior.

Answer 4

have him go to bed earlier (maybe he isn't getting enough sleep).

Answer 5

I recently experienced the same situation with 8yo son & 4 yo daughter. My aunt came to visit and said, "just tell them no tv or video games in the morning, your the boss". I must admit it sounded silly but my husband & I sat them down for the first time really and told them we can not be late anymore in the morning for our work and they can not be late for school. There is no tv in the morning any longer or video games. I have learned that kids really need boundaries & they feel more secure with limitations vs just being able to make their own decisions. In the end after the first week it was fine.

Oh and we started laying their clothes out for the week in one of those "monday-friday" holders I bought @ Target. He gets up & gets dressed and eats breakfast reading a newspaper now!

Answer 6

I understand your frustration, I have 7y.o. twins that need constant nagging and supervision to get going in the morning.  The 1st thing I would say, is you need to have a strict no TV in the morning rule!  I can't even turn on my tv in the morning b/c it will make me laze around, so no TV!!!  Also, have you looked at how much sleep he's getting?  Kids his age should be getting about 10 hours of sleep a night.  I hope you're joking about the cold shower b/c  I think that falls under the "cruel and unusual punishment" category!

Good luck

Answer 7

I did a schedule for my son.  It shows exactly what time he needs to start getting ready for school.  E.g. at 7am he needs to stop what he is doing and:- get dressed, eat breakfast, clean his teeth, make his bed & pack his bag for school.  Its clear as crystal.  The rule is if he is up bef 7am he can watch tv, or play puter.  He can go back to doing those things once he is "ready for school".  THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.  At 7am he gets one warning about getting ready.  After that he starts loosing things.  No tv, no computer, early to bed.  I was actually excited about how well it worked!!!.  I have three charts now.  One on the computer desk, one in his room & one in the lounge room.  At 5 min to 7 every morning i tell him 5 minutes and u have to start getting ready.  Most days he starts straight away.

Edit:  If you would like me to email u the schedule just as a template im more than happy too

Answer 8

First, make sure he is getting enough sleep. Consult your doc, if necessary. My 7yr. old goes to bed at 7:30 and sleep until 6:45. We used to allow her to stay up later, but we were having the same problem. Now she does much better. Also teach him about natural consequence. If he isn't ready in time what happens? Would he attend school in his pajamas? Would he miss breakfast? I think after a few days of finding out why he needs to be ready on time he will change. The most important things are that you make sure he gets enough sleep, and that he is responsible for preparing in the mornings.

Answer 9

You and the Ms. have given control to your son.

What is their to discuss?

If he doesn't get dressed don't  fuss with him.

Take him to school with his clothes in a bag.

Do you think he will go to class naked?

Stop fighting with each other and go after him.  Don't talk about your plan of action in front of him.  He has learned if you are separated he gets what he wants.  Divided you will fail.