I need to get rid of my boyfriends ex...

Question

We have been together for 31/2 years. The last year and a half she has decided to be best buddys with my boyfriend. I have told him everything I have begged and begged him to do something about her. She says alot of things about me to my friends and is playing these games. I thought I could handle it for awhile but it got to the point we were only hanging out with her and her current boyfriend. So I did put a stop to that. But its just gotten worse on her end. He doesnt seem to understand that I dont like her as a person. I want her out of the picture but out of options. I need an outsiders look. They talk all day over email they go to lunch and they hang out without me. I have taken the steps to not talk to her at all. But how do I get him to see that she is one of our biggest problems?

Answer 1

The fact that he hangs out with her means that he doesn't think that much of you and your feelings.  You need to give him an ultimatum and if he can't give her up, walk away and don't look back.

Answer 2

hmm well if you guys have been going strong for 3 1/2 years id say he deff likes you

and from how close they are i'd say he could of had her if he really wanted

i think there just reallly good friends, which may be hard for you to accept (which is completellyyyy understandable) but id say you just have to accept it and enjoy your time with him

:)

Answer 3

I'd say this is a big problem. He is choosing her over you. He is not respecting your opinion or your feelings and completely ignores what you say, choosing to continue to see her even though he knows it bothers you. As a guy, he should know how ex's can be viewed by your partner and doing things like this (They talk all day over email they go to lunch and they hang out without me). HELLO! Thats a big no no with ex's and can cause major trust issues. All you can do is talk to him about it and let him see how much it hurts you. If he ignores you and doesn't care that he is hurting you then I'd say he doesn't love you very much. You need to be respectful of the fact that she is a person and he does care about her, which is perfectly fine. The only problem with him careing about her is him caring about her more than he cares about you.

Answer 4

u cant just get rid of her, shes not going to go anywhere no matter how hard you try. if u say something bad about her he will automatically run to her defence because it isnt ur place to badmouth someone elses ex. he might be doing it to annoy you or see how you react but just act like ur okay and dont react and he may take you more seriously.

Answer 5

You need to get rid of him he has no balls or he want her back.

Answer 6

I would give him the ultimatum... either her or me???  

Answer 7

How long did he and his ex go out? Why did they break up?  Who did the break up?

Did they break up, because they realized that they were better friends than boyfriend/girlfriend or were there other reasons.

He shouldn't be hanging around with her so much. Specially, if you don't like her.  You should be his main priority.

I would try and plan romantic dates.  Dates that are meant just for the 2 of you.  Plan a weekend getaway.  Do things that he never did with her or that she never thought of that.  Make your boyfriend have a wonderful time.  What does he like?  

Don't talk bad about her all the time to him.  If you trust your friends and they are good friends of yours.  

Does this girl not have any other guy friends, but your boyfriend?  What do you think of your current boyfriend?  How does he feel about this?

Unfortunately, because they hang out together so much it's going to be hard.

If she's planning on coming over. Plan on having a romantic dinner for the 2 of you and watch some movies.  Tell her what you're planning.

Make plans with your boyfriend and other friends that aren't her.