I need to go to a wedding in a month (tix paid) and my boss wont give me the time off! What should I do?!?

Question

My brother in law is getting married in August and the family already bought me an airline ticket (non-transferable). I have already used my sick/holiday time and one of my bosses wont give me the time off... do I go over her head and ask the owners or something else... what would you do?

Answer 1

Call in dead.You have to decide which is more important the Wedding or your job.

Answer 2

If you are just going to be gone for a day or two, you can work that out with your boss. For example, if the wedding is going to be on a weekend and you are gone Friday and Monday, you can work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days both weeks. I've done this before. Or, you can take the time off unpaid. Since you didn't have to spring for the plane ticket, you will probably still come out ahead.

If you're talking about taking off a whole week or something, that's a little silly. But if it's only a couple of days, should be easy to work something out.

You can also sometimes make arrangements to "bank" time. For example, I once worked 10-hour days, sometimes 12-hour days for several weeks, then took off an entire week for an event. The boss kept up with everything, and just had me paid regular 40-hour weeks. By the time the thing came around, I had 38 "extra hours," and just worked an extra 2 hours the week I got back. This can get tricky, and because of overtime (exempt and non-exempt employee issues), you really have to be able to work with your boss on this one! It's kind of an under-the-table thing, and works best if HR isn't too involved.

:)

Answer 3

If you already used your holiday/sick time then why did you let your in-laws buy you an airline ticket? You should have seen if you could get the time off first. If it turns out that you can't go then I advise you to pay them back for the ticket.

In regards to your boss - it depends on what type of person they are. Some bosses would get really upset that you went over their heads after they had already told you no...in the long run it could end up putting you in a bad situation if they feel that you are going to keep going over their head after they have given you an answer.

What are the owners like? They may not like the fact that you are going to them asking for time off when A. you already used your sick/holiday time and B. you already were given an answer by your boss. They put your boss in charge of your department for a reason - so they might decide to back them up. Or, they could think your boss is being unfair and make an exception.

I would try contacting your boss one more time. Send them an email and really try to explain the entire situation. Maybe they could advance you some vacation time - but again, it depends on your boss. I know that my boss would never do that for me and I know that I would never go over her head because there would definitely be a backlash with her - but every boss/company is different. Only you can decide what the best approach is.

Answer 4

if you ask the owners they will probably look at your attendence and then most likely tell you no.  you might just wanna call in sick.

Answer 5

Yes, you can go over her head.  I would say though, if you have a habit of using sick time and coming in late, the chances are you will be out of a job if you go.  Your family comes first and you can always get a new job. Right?  I personally feel you haven't given us all the details. You should have asked for the time before allowing your family to purchase a ticket.

Answer 6

Well, one thing you could try would be writing out a letter to the boss who won't let you go and copy the owners on it.  Explain (nicely) how you realize you have already used your allotted sick/holiday time, but that you are close with your brother-in-law and an airline ticket has already been purchased in his name etc. etc....  Ask them to please reconsider giving you the time off.  

In this letter, you could also maybe ask them if you can borrow from your future vacation time, so let's say starting 1/1/2009, you earn 2 weeks...instead you would get 2 weeks minus whatever time you take off for this wedding.

If you want to (or can afford it) you can even offer to take the time off without pay.

If they do grant you the time off, I don't know what kind of work you do, but when I take time off, I make sure that all open projects I am working on are completed, my desk is clean and organized and that I go over thoroughly what can be expected while I'm out.  This way, it makes you taking time off easier on everyone.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I would ask my boss if I could stay late or come in early every day until then to make up for the time that I would be missing. And if she still says no, don't be a whiner and go above them. The only reason I would do this would be because I was actually in the wedding and I had asked for the time off a long time in advance. You should have known the date at least 6 months ago...and that is when you should have asked for the time off.

Because you've waited to ask for the time off, and used all your sick/personal/holiday days, there's nothing you can do. You could always fake a death (I would never do this, but I know people who have. Definately don't agree with it thought), and say the funeral is the day before the wedding or something. You could always take a mental health day. Say you're too stressed with things that are going on at work and you need a day to de-stress yourself and reevaluate your life.

It is your fault though for not asking for the day off 6 months ago and saving a sick day. It's your brother in law who is getting married though, not your brother or your sister...so your boss will probably still say no.

Next time, think ahead, don't whine about it if you can't go, and don't ever go above your boss unless it's really important. Stuff like this, is not, and if you do it often, then they will think you just can't handle the truth...

Answer 8

Well..what i would do is search every possible person above me that i could ask for the time off. So yes maybe contacting the owners is a good idea, if they can sympathise with your cause then that's even better.

However i would try asking a fellow collegue if they can cover you for the time you want off or ask your boss if you can do some overtime to make up for the time you want off.

Your just going to have to grovel on this one! Hope it's helped!

Answer 9

You should have saved your time, BUT for a family event that is this important, only a pathetic self loathing boss wouldn't give you time off.  I would ask him if you can use some of next years time for it so you'll have less vacation time next year...if that doesn't work, then just tell him that you're going, and if you have to find a new job, then so be it.  Family comes first always, and personally, i would never work for someone who didn't agree.

Answer 10

call in sick even though you have used your sick time you can still be sick just not get paid for the time.. If it were me that is what I would do

Answer 11

You should have saved your sick/holiday time. There is really nothing you can do.

Answer 12

How ironic that your username is HR-- you would think you would have known to save some sick/holiday time for a big event like this.  

I also feel you have not given us all the details and you have perhaps used sick/holiday time for dubious reasons. Even if you work for a place that has a no-fault paid time off policy -- that the days are there for you to use for whatever -- if they think you have used many of them for undue reasons they might be upset with you.

Your choices are:

A. Write your boss an email stating again that you have been given a non-transferable/refundable ticket and you feel you must honor it. However you are willing of course to take the time unpaid and will also put in extra time on X assignment/ task when you get back. Or better yet ahead of time.

B. Actually since you have a month ask if you can put in the extra hours now and the unpaid time off should more than offset any overtime they might be required to pay you.

C. I disagree that family is more important and you can always get other work. Family IS more important but since this seems to have come about due to your poor planning and/or getting too much time off already you need to decide if you want to come back to have work waiting for you or not. If you think you will be unemployed over this -- employment is not easy to come by in our economy and not being able to put your prior employer as a reference because of this incident -- or having your employer relate this incident to a potential future employer -- will not be good.

I hope you can work it out with your boss but honestly he or she does not have to give you additional time and it seems like you have over used paid time off already.

Answer 13

You will have to take it un-paid if you really want to go.

Answer 14

tell them you're OK with taking the time off unpaid, you just need permission to be gone for the trip so they will hold your job and not fire you.

Answer 15

My best guess is that it would depend on how the sick/personal time was used. and what kind of relationship you may have with people further up the food chain.

Also, how many days will you be gone?  If it just a long weekend, you might get away with it more.

I would write a letter (handwriting in cursive, like in school) to the owners explaining the situation, make a copy of the plane ticket and any supporting materials (like if your huby is the best man, etc) and explain that from a family standpoint, you really need to be there, and you'll take the penalty of no pay for days off...

Next time, save a personal day if possible...I always had one when I left a job!

Answer 16

Ask for leave without pay, or an advance on future holiday time.

Answer 17

Well, she is not obligated to give you the time off if you already used all of your holiday time.  So you can go over her head but it likely won't do much except end you in the same situation with a really pissed off boss.

You will either have to not go, or find a new job.  Decide what is more important.  Sorry.