I need to know if letting your baby cry could affect their personality???

Question

Okay..i work at a daycare and my 4 month old son goes there also..The teacher in his room lets him cry..To the point that EVERYDAY i come to check on him hes screaming bloody murder and his eyes are gobbed shut from crying and hes got tears all over his face..I must also note that he is honestly the BEST baby..hes very mellow and NEVER cries..he does his little 1 wimper when hes tired and all you have to do is give him his binky and put the blanky around him and hes right to sleep..im not exagerating because hes mine..hes really the best baby!..everybody is always amazed! He is always smiling and talking to you and a very happy boy!! Ive read before that if your loving and nurturing then thats why your baby is happy..But it scares me that his teacher is going to mess that up because the bit** lets him scream like that..its so bad that when he sees me he starts to whimper at me and it breaks my heart...

Answer 1

To just answer you're question and not the whether he should be there or not thing...

My first thought was that he would just become more independent which is not a bad thing.

Have you even talked to her about it? You don't mention that. Just tell her that it upsets you.

I'm glad you have a happy baby. My first was miserable but turned into a happy toddler:)

Answer 2

i would go to a pediatrician not yahoo answers.

I am trying to be helpful, not a jerk, because some of the things that people write can be wrong. And if they are and you follow their advise, then things could end up badly.

Answer 3

i understand exactly. my son is 4 months old and is so well behaved he played the whole 1 1/2 hours we were at the dmv. he is always well behaved. i let my sister watch him and he was hungry and she wouldnt feed him on time so he started to cry and scream. i just told her she needed to pay more attention to his needs or i wouldnt let her watch him again. tell the teacher that it conserns you that she does this and if it doesnt change tell her boss that you think he could be doing a better joba t taking care of the kids. good luck

Answer 4

Well, it sounds like the two of them don't click with one another. There's no way to prove whether crying or not can affect personality. The only way to test it is to stick babies in cribs 24/7, take them out only to change them, not talk to them, and stick them back in after feeding. Every child has a different personality, anyway, so there's no way to know whether their personality is any different from crying. Again, it would be if the baby had NO interaction at all because it's a primal sort of existence. That doesn't seem to be the case with your baby. It sounds to me like you don't feel comfortable with your arrangement. I'd look for a different daycare for him, or a different one for the both of you.  

Answer 5

GD! Sorry, but you need to find another day care because obviously they don't care during the day for your baby.  How dare they let your baby cry like that.  Take a day off and find a better one honey.  Life is too short to let some a$$hole mess up your kid's ID.

Answer 6

Poor little baby, don't let her do that - I do not think it is that hard to clam down baby, rock him, anything. Some people say it is ok, my mother in law tels me do not to pick up mine and let her cry herself to sleep. But I think it is big bulls...t. Everywhere I read babies can not be spoiled by picking them up and comforting. So talk to her or change daycare, or something, gosh your heart must be breaking!

As for personality I researched this a lot - loved and comforted babies have more confidence in themselves, are more dependent on their parents (I see it as a good thing), they are more trusting. My baby is 5 months so far, I quit my job after my husband let her cry as his mother suggested when watching her) and I do not regret a day she is happiest baby ever - so make sure get different caregiver, maybe they would let you watch your baby while at work?

Answer 7

I would have a long talk and say to not let him cry it out. I strongly believe it is ok for a parent to do it, but not a caregiver because they do not have the same emotional attachment to your child like you do so they don't know when he has had enough and needs someone. Also, the fact that it is happening everyday is disturbing, to me, that is neglect. You either need to have a talk, or change caregivers immediately.

Answer 8

That's just not right!

Letting a baby cry for a few minutes while you finish going to the bathroom, or making dinner or something is one thing... but to let him cry every day... I don't like that.

It certainly could affect him negatively.  I'm so sorry your son is going through this!

Answer 9

Tell her how you feel. Do you let this go on in your class? If you dont treat your group like this than y would she think that you would accept that? Its crazy. There is no excuse for letting a baby cry like that. I wouldnt let it go on in the first place.

Answer 10

awwww, he's sounds great. poor kid, crying like that! HONESTLY -- I would change day care, if you can.  Or, confront the woman/speak to the manager, something. It's unacceptable in my opinion!  It's not going to affect his personality or do long term harm (many kids have cried LOTS in day care and are just fine!!) -- but, you don't want your son's cries to be continuously ignored. it's a big red flag.  

Answer 11

Its nice that you think your baby is the BEST but i also think my baby is the best and im sure all the other mothers on here think that their babies are the best as well..so in all, who has the best baby? lol...

You should try and arrange that your baby has someone else look after him, or have a talk with the lady who does because i think that it actually could have (even the slightest) effect on your baby, it has something to do with trust and confidence when he gets older :)

Answer 12

also remember that babies can feel when the person watching them is nervous or upset...so if she is feeling aggravated or something he may be picking up on it..  also maybe you could speak to your boss and see if any other parents are having concerns about her...

hope all turns out well