I need to know to know if i'm going insane.

Question

I only made this yahoo account for an answer so someone try to be open minded and please help if you can. About 1 year ago the world has changed to me. I've slowly started talking to myself, having this conversations with myself. i thought nothing of it, I mean you come to think that everyone must act like this sometimes. I used to feel like I wasn't real, like I needed proof that I exist, my grades in school dropped and my parents are the type that wont listen, about 4 months ago, I lit the tips of a fork, stuffed a towel in my mouth and pushed the fork into my arm. It hurt, but I felt like its how i can exist. I stopped that for a while because i felt like i was insane. The conversations with myself stopped and I just went on with life. Recently, I feel like i'm not the only one in my mind. This is where it gets weird, you can stop reading if you want. When I talk with myself, he says that he will get my life on track and that I am an dissapointment to the world. So I have stopped doing certain things, he tells me to stand up straight, stop cursing, don't bite my nails, do 75 push ups and sit ups every night, take a shower 3 times a day. Its weird because I listen. Whenever I mess up, i have to burn myself with the fork once. I did it twice last night, tonight i have 5 times because i messed up 5 times today. My girlfriend asked me what happend, and i just told her my skin acts up, but i suspect she knows. The marks hurt, but its like i have another person running my life, even if it is bettering myself, I feel like i'm a monster. I talk out loud now and i fight with myself verbally. I dont know what to do, I don't want to go to anyone because, they might think i'm insane. My dad found out one time that i tried hanging myself and he flipped out calling me i stupid -curse word- and they made me sleep in their room. Should i let this new person in my mind run my life, knowing that he's helping, but at the same time trapping me in my own mind. If someone could please help me, give me an answer, does anyone out there feel like this? do this? don't give me that stuff about how everyone is a little crazy, i want to know your honest truth. Someone please help me.

Answer 1

You need a sounding board, a real live person to talk to. Not sure if you're in high school or college, but I suggest you talk to a school counselor for starters, or find a counselor you can trust at a local free clinic. Counselors have to be confidential. They may help you identify what's behind the feelings and behaviors that are troubling you.

PLEASE don't go this alone. I speak from experience... things will only get worse without help, and there's plenty of it out there.

Best of luck

Twisted Sister

Answer 2

well i understand why you would be afraid to ask for help when your father reacted the way that he did. first of all, what your going through is not a normal functioning way to see things, so you do need help. I mean, i'm sure you aren't enjoying living like this. it's like your a prisoner trapped in your own body. It sounds like you may have some sort of schizophrenia or something. not only that, but any sort of self mutilation worries me. it also seems as if its progressing because now you are actually having verbal conversations with yourself. What happens when you get to the point where the voice is telling you to hurt someone else? i would really urge you to talk to someone about this. do you have any sort of trusted adult at all you can talk to? your parents seem to be doing nothing for you except for getting upset.

Answer 3

THERAPY

Answer 4

look up disassociative identity disorder (DID), and borderline personality disorder and see if you can relate to the symptoms

def. go speak with a therapist because what you described def. would be due to some sort of mental disorder

but dont worry, that does mean ur nuts er anything, you can be treated with medication and/or therapy sessions which really help

just remember you're still you, you're just like everyone else .. you just have something wrong which you will be able to overcome

good luck :)

Answer 5

def. some OCD, i have it and i KNOW it. BUT, i NEVER hurt myself or punish myself. we are human and you are here for a reason. please get some medical attention ASAP. you dont want to die, theres so much in life and life is beautiful. you can get help, and you CAN get better. look, you already made it thru step 1 which was admitting your problem and asking out for help therefor you do want it. please listen to all of us on here. STOP stabbing yourself. you are hurting yourself, probably leaving scars which later, when you are better, is going to be a horrible reminder of this bad time in your life. you are not a monster. im not understanding why your parents havnt already gotten you help if they knew you already tried to hang yourself??? think positive, you have a GF and you are not alone. i promise you, if you do something now, see a doctor, call a suicide hotline...something, you will be on a track to recovery. good luck, and just be you. stop listening to that person in your head that really doesnt exist. as soon as you get help, hes going to be gone anyways, so let him go now. anytime you need someone to talk to or ask a question just get back on yahooanswers and im sure we'll all try to help you thru this as much we can, but DEFINITLY see a doctor.

Answer 6

definitly if you can get help honest thats the best i can come up with sorry

but if you can't when you're older you'd fit in with the homeless population in washington d.c.

Answer 7

i'm not a psychiatrist but to me it sounds like you may have OCD or skitzophrenia or a disorder that is similar. if i were you i would definitely seek professional help, cognitive-behavioral therapy may help you. don't worry, a psychiatrist will not judge you or think you are "insane", they are trained and wanting to help you.  

Answer 8

Okay, I don't think you are "crazy" but the stuff you described is certainly not normal and I suspect that you know that already. This is a situation that needs immediate attention and you need to tell your parents that you think there's something wrong with you and that you NEED URGENTLY to see a therapist and if they ask you what is wrong just tell them you are severly depressed and need help now if you dont want to tell them the whole story. If you think the person in your mind is trapping you then he isn't helping you obviously, he's making you feel suffocated and you need to see a psychiatrist to help get rid of him, they'll probably give you medication to take that you HAVE to take to get your life back on track, you HAVE to take it if they give it to you, please, because this could ruin your life. You aren't crazy but you have serious issues that need addressing immediatley, good luck and I hope the best for you.

Answer 9

Perhaps you feel you need attention? Prozac?

Answer 10

You really should seek counseling.

Answer 11

I would like to make a suggestion.  It may sound ridiculous to you, but can be validated by a little online research.  Hypoglycemia can cause all sorts of odd, new behavior in a person.  Things which frighten us, things we KNOW are "crazy," and it's awful to go through.

Hypoglycemia is low blood sugar.  The way to reverse the symptoms are to eat a diet full of lean meats, veggies, whole grains, nuts, lowfat milk products, and a little fruit.  Cut out potatoes, white bread--any white things like that--cut out sweets and sodas.

Good Sir, you may notice a difference immediately.  After just a couple of days.  Please believe me, hypoglycemia can trigger all sorts of mental things.  I am not saying all mental things come from it!  But straightening out your diet might save you in this.

I would also like to suggest that you find a trusted pastor to consult.  A good, trustworthy father figure type person, who is trained at counseling.  PLEASE DON'T WORRY THAT THEY'LL THINK YOU'RE CRAZY!!  They'll just be glad you came for help!  What you are going through is not uncommon, but is indeed a sign of your being troubled.  All these things---the other person in there talking to you (not really another person, just seems like it), the desire to harm yourself, etc.---all these things can be fixed and go away.  Your brain will "normalize" again, and you will be at peace.  But you do need help.  And maybe--just maybe--this will all go away with a good diet change.

Answer 12

okay, i am very afraid for you.  um, therapy can definitely help.  i am going to address this from your perspective, as if there really was someone in your head.

what gives them the right to tell you what to do? no one.  you are boss of you.  if you make yourself better, it should be because its what you want.  who has the right to punish you? no one.  not even yourself.  the brain has infinite power.  this could be someone your brain made up, an actual disorder, etc.  im not doubting you at all.  as for your dad saying those things,  first of all:  how dare he?!  at the moment when you needed help, he kicked you while you were down.  secondly,  he was probably terrified of losing you, and fear makes us do irrational things.  

i don't have the ability to help you but maybe a counselor can.  a good therapist will have the empathetic understanding that you need, and it won't be anything new to them.

Answer 13

You aren't insane but there is some psychiatric disorder on that ONLY a psychiatrist can diagnose. Go to emergency at a mental health hospital, ASAP. Don't try and figure it out yourself.

Answer 14

You don't say how old you are but you do mention your parents. You REALLY need to tell them what is going on and get to a Dr. soon. If this is really going on, it could be the onset of a serious mental condition that requires medication to stop the voices and therapy to help you stop hurting yourself. If you have to go to the emergency room. Best of luck.

Answer 15

Okay, well, once I read that crazy people don't really know they're crazy. So if you THINK you're crazy, and actually recognizing it, you might not be. Maybe you should do something that keeps your mind preoccupied from hearing this voice. Listen to music, get a part-time job that keeps you thinking, write to get your feelings down on paper, so it seems like someone is listening, just stay mellow. I don't know if this helps, but sure hope it does(:

Answer 16

Just drop it. Breather. A kind of minor example of this is trying to get rid of OCD. It controls you, and you really dont want to follow follow its commands and constant patterns, but the way of ridding it is to just...stop. Dont do as it says. Stop. Dont care. Go outside and breathe, listen to music. Carry on normally. Dont stab yourself with a fork.