I need to make someone laugh. How?

Question

I can only do it with text, and it can't be too long. I only have one chance. Just like a paragraph or so that's guaranteed to make someone laugh.

Answer 1

Easy:-

A blond goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, "How much?"

He doesn't hear her correctly and says "Come again?"

She giggles and says "No…it's just mustard this time."

Answer 2

The Dog

A married man decided to work late to be with his s**y secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse.

After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had great s*x for two hours.

Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up for the trip home and noticed a huge hickey on his neck.

He panicked, wondering what he was going to tell his wife.

After the man unlocked his front door, his dog came bounding to greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly fell to the carpet, pretending to fight off the affectionate animal.

Holding his neck with one hand, he said, "Honey, look what the dog did to my neck!"

"h**l, that's nothing" she answered, ripping open her blouse.

"Look what he did to my b*****s!"