I need to vent and i need some advice?

Question

iwas with a guy for almost two years, i was inlove with him. we were great, we had our fights but we were crazy about eachother. i lost my virginity to him. i was with him since i was 14 and became pregnant by him at 15 turning 16. hes 18 now but CANNOT be charged with s.rape because we were in a commited relationship AND my mom tried to book him.. but they said it wouldnt hold in court bc were only 2 1/2 years apart. at first, he was still talking to him about the baby but didn't want to come into the house, which was okay, he'd still take me out to dinner, so i didn't mind, then my mom showed up at his work saying he needs to take responsibility and he was.. and my dad went to his house and told his parents! it was a wreck, so then he changed. he didn't want anything to do with me, i cant blame him.. his parents came over and said, i should abort and he switched to thinking the same. then he gets another girlfriend . who doesn't know im pregnant, i never met her

Answer 1

First of all, life is too precious.  Get on with yours.

Contact your county Domestic Relations Board, give them the details.  They will subpoena the suspected (you have to say that) father for a DNA test to prove paternity.

In the meantime get to a planned parenthood to get on prenatal care, vitamins, and proper foods for an expectant mother.

Things will come along, but make yourself and the baby #1 in your heart and mind.   Life comes first, legal a close second.

Good luck

Answer 2

This is an excellent reason why teenagers should not have s*x.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I'm worried about your child/children.  You sound very young and your life sounds like it's full of drama.  How can you be a good mother when you are still acting out teenage tragedies?

Answer 3

i read this and felt mixed emotions. you have a right to be angry and think your parents are to blame. you are in a tough spot. whatever you do dont abort becuz thats even worse. im againt that all the way. they have classes and hotlines for ppl like you so i would try them. i love having ppl vent becuz i always help. i really did feel your pain when i read this and im here for you if u wanna talk. good luck & forget the boy. find another that can accept you even if you do something bad.

Answer 4

Your parents aren't at fault. YOU are. When this kid arrives, please do it a favor and let someone adopt it. You and your boyfriend together don't have a brain between you.

Answer 5

Your ex is totally immature. What he doesn't realize is that even if he has nothing to do with the baby, he will have to pay child support for 18 years! On the other hand, are you sure you want to raise this child on your own? Maybe you should think about adoption as there are thousands of really nice, stable, loving deserving couples out there dying to have a baby who can't conceive. You could give your baby an ideal childhood full of love and everything any kid could ever want.

Answer 6

First of all your parents are doing what parents do: watching out for their little girl-which you still are and will always be to them.  You are in a very adult situation and you need adults to help you out.  Forget about the ex.  Doesn't seem like a guy who will be there for you when the baby arrives.  Congrats on no aborting by the way.  Now, you have to get in Mom mode and do what's right by your baby.  That means taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with family and friends who will be there for you.  And it means nailing your ex's *** to the wall for child support.  Doesn't matter if he can't afford it now, get a court order for support and once he can afford it, you can get the money he owes you.  You have to start thinking about your future and your baby's future.  Don't worry about his new girlfriend, she will find out soon enough that he dumped you and you are pregnant.  That kind of news usually spreads fast.  Good luck with your pregnancy.

Answer 7

You can not blame your parents for this.  Their 15 year old gets pregnant and they fly off the handle a little bit, that is to be expected.  This guy doesn't like what your parents had to say so he totally abandons you and the baby, that is not a normal reaction.  He is 18 years old and will be a father soon, he should be grown up enough to stand up to his parents or your parents or whoever he has to to be a part of his child's life.

Answer 8

Your parents had every right to do what they did. Yes, it seems completely unreasonable, it's embarrassing, but put yourself in their shoes. When you have your child, imagine if someone got her (assuming she's a girl) pregnant and didnt care about it as much as he shouldve. You'd be pretty mad. No one messes with your daughter, right? Don't blame your parents, they're doing what they think is best and taking responsibility for you and their soon-to-be grandchild. If you have anyone to blame, it's that ex-boyfriend of yours. It's sick that he got you pregnant and isn't there for you now. Whether or not you abort is completely your choice because it is your body and no one has the right to tell you what to do with it. If he doesnt want to be a father, then tell him to suck it up because it's 50% his fault you're pregnant anyway, ever heard of safe s*x boy? Either way, dont beat yourself up about it or your parents. This way, you at least know that your parents are there to support you which is the best thing you could ask for. You're still young, dont let this ruin your life. You've just hit a scumbag of a guy, who cares too much about what other people think and not enough about you. Go find someone else who'll treat you right. You obviously have a big heart, don't waste it on him, you deserve so much better. Good luck with it all x

Answer 9

Considering that you are a minor and you are still living with them, they had every right to go and demand he take responsibility.  If he was interested in the baby or you, he would be helping you out and trying to be involved.  Don't blame it on your parents. He was going to cop out anyway.  Move on.  He doesn't want the baby or you obviously. Get on medicaid, they will demand a paternity test and demand he pays child support and then the new girlfriend will know you are pregnant.

Answer 10

Well you are young and your parents are likely upset with him and his parents....for good reason!  

I think you need to accept that the father of your baby isn't going to be there and do everything you can to get support because at such a young age you'll need it.  Just stop all contact at all with him and get him served for DNA test (this way he can't show up and say it's not his and they can't ever bring it up again) and for you to have sole custody and to get support from him when he does work.

You also need to get your highschool diploma some how because it's hard to find a job without atleast that.  You're going to need to take care of your baby and do what you can and be the best that you can be.

Good luck and I'll pray for you.

Answer 11

Well he still has to pay child support. Maybe he will change his mind when he sees the face of the beautiful life he created. Immature boys tend to be that way until reality really sets in and the baby is actually here. If he denies paternity, Child Support does the tests for free and immediately sets up support orders. Custody/Visitation is a separate court matter unfortunately, but make sure whatever plan you two make in the future is in writing and filed appropriately.

Just try to stay away from him until after the baby is born. Keep away from the stress as it is not good for you and the baby. Once the baby is born contact your local Child Support Enforcement Agency and make sure he takes care of his child in at least one way.

Answer 12

Well hes stupid for not wanting to take care of this baby, and by him getting a new girlfriend just shows how retarted he is and that he doesnt give a toot. You need to stop worrying about ur ex and start worrying about how ur going to take care of this baby by your self, yea your mom will be there but thats only for a few hours your going to have this baby ALLL the time ALL night long and having a newborn at night.. you're in for a rude wake up call if you think its going to be easy. Setup and be the parent this baby needs.. h**l you're going to have to be both at the same time cause that boy isnt doing nothing. His parents should be telling him to set up and be a d**n man not run away from his problems.