I need your friendly advice about life!?

Question

I'm currently taking up Mechanical Engineering. I've taken this course because my dad wants me to. He's always the one who funds my education. But I have realised that I really want to study Law in England. I'm sure there's no way that my dad will support this dream of mine not only because he doesn't have enough funds to support my studies in the UK but also because he WANTS me to be a mechanical engineer. His reasons are: there are very big opportunities for mechanical engineers, and engineers' salaries are high. I also think it's because his current line of work is somehow related to it, and it was his frustration.

He does not know that for almost 3 years now, I've been trying so hard to apply for a lot of scholarships, and have tried almost every way to get into the UK. I've always failed although I still have little chances. I have realised that I cannot finish Engineering. I don't want to be an engineer. As time passes, engineering bores me more! It's not what I like. I cannot take anymore the pressure of seeing my friends who are about to graduate, it's so hard. I'm not enjoying any major subjects I have, not at all. I really wanna go to England and study Law. I'm a hundred percent sure my dad will get angry at me when he knows about this. But what matters to me now is that I move on and start a new life in England. I gotta reach for my dreams, I don't want to work as someone I never wanted to be. I'm so willing to work while studying. I'm so willing to work so hard, no matter what it takes I feel that I want and need to go to England. It's just luck does not permit to be happy. I always tell myself that this is my last chance and every time I fail, ideas still keep coming into my mind and it's like I cannot stop fulfilling my goals. Hopefully, this scholarship application I've made will be successful. I do however have back-up options and it's like I'm never gonna run out of those.

My question is: Should I follow my heart? If I were you, will you stick to what makes you feel happy, or to what people dictate is right?

Answer 1

Good morning Mike, I have read, and re-read your question.

The impression I get, is that you are and have been in school for awhile (your reference to fellow classmate graduating). You are going through the motions, without any real passion for what you are doing.  And, what you are doing, is being very passive, (not a good characteristic for an attorney). I get a strong impression that you do not want to bite the hand that feeds you so to speak. Your Father on one hand wants you to be someone he wasn't, you are trying to please him and frustrating yourself.  Also, you are the only one that can make your dreams happen...but in order to do so you are going to have to face the hard cold truth that the free ride, money-gravy train will stop.

If and when you have matured enough to stand up for yourself, be self sufficient enough to pursue your own dreams, you can and will make it.  But it is not going to be easy, you may have to get a job, live like a pauper and take one class at a time (as you can afford it). Your Father in the mean time will of course be disappointed, and perhaps even angry, that you have wasted his money and your time, when your heart wasn't really in it. But, any education is never a waste of time if you absorbed anything at all.

I did not mean for this to be so long or discouraging, but just my opinion, you need to stand up and be counted, instead of wasting away, trying to fulfill someone else's dream.  Get on with your own life, and it will require determination, work and moral substance....thank you and good luck whatever you decide, the easy way( Father pays) or the rough road, (you do it yourself).

I actualy think Father will be proud of you if you show some moxie.

Answer 2

If I were you I would keep on trying. But do not quit your studies. Worst case scenario you could make some money as an engineer and then move to England and go to law school. I know that is not the ideal plan but sometimes we have to do things we do not like (within reason) to get to a desired destination. OR you could talk to your dad (by your question it seems like you have already or do not want to bother since you think you already know his answer) let him know how miserable you are and that you do not want to waste your life doing something you hate. Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

So many people get on here and just think they can be whatever they "wanna" be.

You have to be willing to make the sacrifice.

That means studying hard, GETTING IN THE HABIT OF USING CORRECT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR and working hard now at what you are doing.

It is truly easy to stay I "wanna" be a lawyer. Caring it out may be the toughest decision you ever make. Do you think your clients will want to hear you petition the court using bad English?

Are you any good at being a Mechanical Engineer?

It may not be as bad as it sounds.

How does your mother feel about this possible change of major?

Have another talk with your father. You have to be able to prove you are up to going to England, studying and making your family proud.

Put together a strong argument before asking again.

Good luck!

Al