I need your help ! any ideas????? Adults only please?

Question

After being mentally SUCKED into a relationship and had it continue for almost 3 years ( I fell for him big time) charmer--a sociopath.....(the whle reason I was in this for so long if you know the meaning of sociopath) anyway- he is a cheater and liar..and no matter what I say he sees nothing wrong on his end- me on the other hand- was totally faithful to him... and he calls and calls and calls and I already did the number change thing before but he will NOT admit ONE thing he is STILL DOING...with the other one or (ones) and I AM SICK to death of his deceit. Other than changing the # again.....what would make someone like this GET THE PICTURE he hurt me badly and I am DONE for GOOD...He thinks because he owes $ on a bill he forged my name on-and he does pay that maybe that is a reason to stay in touch...but all he has to do is mail the payments.....instead he shows up at my door and tries again..... ( I have a sick "love" for this man because he is a charmer) aaand I REALLY think I am doing better now- Maybe if I put a banner on the outside of my house with his name stating he is a cheater and liar???? Maybe then he will be ashamed and go away.

Answer 1

You are a lucky women to wake up before things got any more out of hand.

my poor mom was married for 17 years to a"charmer" that got her married best friend neighbor across the street pregnant.

All of the married women inour neighborhood loved my dad, he could charm anyone ,anytime ,anywhere.

Getting back to you,

Tell him to get lost even if you lose some money on the raw deal he gave you, better to lose some money then your sanity.

Answer 2

If he has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, you may be able to get a personal protection order from the court.  If he shows up on your door step again then have him arrested.  Unfortunately that may be the only way to truly rid yourself of him because sociopaths usually don't care about the law or your own personal feelings.  Oh and buy a shotgun.

Answer 3

Sociopaths are generally very controlling people.  If you were the one who broke off the relationship, then he lost "control" of you and is trying to get it back.  I have seen sociopaths who didn't even care for the person hold on  just to exercise control over them.  The control is more important than the love ... especially since most sociopaths aren't capable of real love.

If you have told him to leave you alone and he won't, consider putting a restraining order on him.  Then he will be legally bound to stay away from you.

Answer 4

If he forged your signature to obtain goods or money it would be considered fraud which is a criminal offence.

Report him to the authorities, have him arrested and, hopefully, prosecuted. Maybe that will get the message through to him

Good luck.

Answer 5

I forget the name of the website, but there is one where women report cheating men, liars etc...perhaps you should look into that so none of the rest of us get tied up with this freak.

Answer 6

i am very sorry he hurt u

but if he keeps showing up at ur place u must report him.

if u have common friends maybe tell them to tell him to stay away and deal with this on his own if he keeps doing what he does u have to report the police who knows what goes thro his mind?

good luck

Answer 7

I'm sorry to say that there is nothing you can do to convince him that he was wrong, or that he hurt you.  Learning from his mistakes is not on his agenda, and neither is repairing the relationship.  He might want you back, but only on his own terms.  

If you allow him to persuade you to go back, everything will be *exactly* the same as it was before, only perhaps this time he will feel more confident about his ability to manipulate you.  

The only way to deal with this, in my opinion, is to cut off all contact and try very hard to move on.  Any attention you give him will give him hope, even if you're very negative.  He's like a stalker: he is unable to understand reason.  So if you put a banner on the outside of your house, even if it says he's a cheater and a liar, he will see it as an indication that you are still thinking about him.  He will see it as a good sign.  He won't feel ashamed - sociopaths don't feel shame.

I agree with others who have suggested getting a restraining order.  And obviously, if he shows up at your door, don't open it.  No matter how loudly he bangs or shouts.  Call the police if he doesn't go away after five minutes.  

You need to ignore him completely and totally.  Never speak to him, never write to him, and never open the door to him.  If you get into any conversation or contact with him at all, he will keep pursuing you.

Good luck.

Answer 8

If you are truly tired of this person coming into your life and want nothing more to do with him, consider getting a restraining order. It sounds like that might be the only way to make him understand you want nothing to do with him, and it may be the healthiest choice you can make for yourself.

I wish you lots of luck -- Be strong.