I need your help please? Mature serious answers only please?

Question

I need your help please? Mature serious answers only please?

I have a son who is 16yrs old. I see he has a few feminine traits, but otherwise all boy. He is much more immature than his friends and has a baby face. He loves to dance and is great at it (the hip hop rap stuff). He also likes to look nice. He kind of has an attitude about g*y people. He says its wrong etc. Well recently I have come to find out that my friends (not very good friends) who have children that know him call him g*y. Two very popular kids in my sons school believe this and their mother hates me. She is very jealous of me and I am so worried she put her children up to spreading that around his school. I am friends with her sister and she is the one who told me this. The parents obviously believe this is true as well. My son is extremely intelligent very outgoing loves to have fun, plays every sport and does it well, has friends of every race and gender. But I have seen friends come and go out of his life. Which concerns me somewhat. He has had a few girlfriends but none in a long while. These so called friends of mine have put me down about certain nit picky stupid things. My husband is a very Americanized Hispanic gentleman and they constantly throw in the word Mexican. He does very well financially and I know they would love to see us faulter. Now its my son, I feel like they want me to fall I feel they want my son to fall. Do you think they are only being their usual dramatic way or could my son very well be g*y? What are some signs that he could be? What hurts is they all are talking about him with their children who go to school with him and never once has one come forward. I adore him and am so proud of him, but this has just thrown me, I can't even sleep. I am going to stay away from these women, they are only trouble in my life. Its just they are the only friends I have but I guess I will just have to move on. Please can anyone give me some advice. I am just sick about this. Would I recognize his sexuality since I'm his mother, but I don't, just that he is a little different from the kids his age, but I always thought it was his maturity level. Is there anyway I can know for sure without asking him, he looks up to me so much and if I were to ask him I'm afraid he would think that he failed me. What does it mean to find yourself? If he were I'd be heartbroken because our society doesn't look upon that very well, but I would never turn my back on him. Never!

Answer 1

okay repost a shorter version that is looooooooooong

yeah in this situation you will have to wait it out.......loads of kids get teased at school! if he is g*y if you let him know you guys can talk about anything he will tell you himself! - just wait it out! x

Answer 2

Hello

This is a really tough situation for you. I’ll definitely keep a good thought for you and your son as you navigate this. First off, you have my very deepest respect for standing by your son and your family. As to these women who are spreading the rumor that your son is g*y because of certain traits or mannerisms, I’d say they’re narrow minded, stereotyping, jealous, bigoted idiots with way too much time on their hands and that furthermore they’re interfering in something that is distinctly none of their business regardless of his sexual orientation. For what it’s worth, my partner and I are both very masculine because that’s who we are. Just because someone may have an effeminate trait or two doesn’t mean they’re automatically g*y. Just because he takes pride in his appearance and can dance doesn’t mean he’s g*y either. The teenage years are tough enough without people making baseless accusations or questioning someone when they have no right to do so. I’d say you’re right on the mark when you say that they want your family to falter and that it’s more driven out of jealousy and bigotry than it is out of evidence of the nit picky things you describe or your son’s sexual orientation. Signs of sexual orientation are difficult to pin down because each person is individual. If you have a great relationship with your son and good rapport, you might want to begin by just having a conversation with him regarding sexual orientation in general and see where it goes. If he is g*y, he’ll know that you will accept, support and love him which is critical, especially in this day and age. If he’s not, then the worst that will happen is that you’ll give him the wisdom and compassion to be accepting of others which will serve him well in the future. He may also be questioning his sexuality and need to talk to someone about it. If he feels as though he won’t be threatened by doing so with you, he may open up and in so doing deepen your relationship. Don’t be afraid to consult outside help if you think you need it either. There is no shame in that and no failure as a Mom if you do what you do out of love and support. Parents & Friends of Lesbians & g**s (PFLAG) is a great place to start. My very best to you and your family and shame on those women for exemplifying what a bad mother really is.

Answer 3

ok this is alot for a question on YA but if you are worried about your son ...dont be ... if he is that athletic i am sure he can handle himself at school. Really now adays its not a big thing to be g*y or bi there are tons of us and the new generation is very accepting. but as for your friends I think you need to find some new ones and if the old ones ask what happened tell them you feelings.  

Answer 4

Kids will get picked on regardless of what their situation is.  If its not because he's g*y, it may be because something else.  That other woman sounds like a troll and is acting the age of her children.  Don't worry about your son.  If things really do get out of hand at school let the school handle it.  It's not your job to put up a wall for every little thing that comes around.  Even if he does get picked on a bit it will make him a stronger person because of it.  Just talk to him before you do anything drastic, he's more than capable of handling things on his own.

Answer 5

That is a really tough situation.Having your friends talk badly about your son, not good at all.The way your kid behave,the fact that he has some feminine traits doesnt mean a thing about his sexuality.The easiest way to find out would have been to ask him but since you dont want to ask him,you'll just have to wait i guess.

Don't mind the people spreading all these rumors about your kids, they are just doing that to convince themselves that they are better whih is not the case at all.

But you should really try talking to your son

Answer 6

i suggest try shortening your paragraph.. it's kind of hard to understand the situation...