I need your oppinion.

Question

I have just one question, do you think that this poem is pretty d**n good for a 12 year old?

if we think about it,

we have a lot going in our minds.

we try to live another day,

we watch the sun as it shines.

we find ways for eachother, helping her, him, they and them.

realize, the stars, are like little holes in the floor of heaven.

the sun is just a thought in gods mind of sunshine.

the moon not more than god's mind itself.

realize we need eachother to survive,

to complete our own happiness.

to comfort and revive,

our daily, so called, "life".

Answer 1

Another twelve year old that thinks she knows everything.  You should not be on Yahoo. A mismatch of words, without a semblance of meaning.

Peace.

Answer 2

"Nineteen Ways of Looking at Wang Wei," Weinberger and Paz,

"Creation:  Artistic and Spiritual," O. M. Aivanhov,

"West with the Night," Beryl Markham,

"Expecting Adam," Martha Beck, and

"The Secret Power of Music," David Tame, are worthwhile.

"Darn" is better than "d**n," btw.

Like your use of commas.

http://www.easwaran.org might help, too.

To answer your question:  "Pretty darn good" indeed.

Answer 3

its a good poem... here's my revise

if we think about it

we have a lot going in our minds

we try to live another day to stay fit

and we watch the sun as it shines

Let's find ways for each other

helping everyone like your mother and father

to realize the stars are like holes in heaven's floor

and our Sun is a thought in God's wisdom of sunshine

with moon not more than the God's intelligence shine...

For us to realize we help each other to survive

to complete our own happiness.

to comfort and revive,

our daily, so called, "life".

http://isisinsights.blogspot.com/

http://ice9web.blogspot.com/

http://ice9web.co.cc/

http://icelahora.co.cc/

Answer 4

it's not d**n good. it's awesome. really!  

Answer 5

that was pretty freaking good! i dont usually like poetry but i like yours. for a twelve year old? i'd figured you'd have video games on your mind instead lol jkjk good

write some more i think you got potential.

Answer 6

wrong section, post in the next one down on the list

Answer 7

it good. i like it