I neglected my family to make my own with my husband...but i was the only one trying...?

Question

my husband is not making enough efforts to keep this marriage together..i have put in my share of efforts...its his turn now...but he does not realize it...how do i make him see that he is ruining the best thing that he and i have ever had???

Answer 1

He is trying to make an effort you just said he wants to take you on vacation he can only do one thing at a time. Also you need to realize people approach problems differently just because he may make an effort in a different way than you may doesn't make it any less of an effort.

Answer 2

First of all your husband is not stupid, he knows you neglected your family and that alone should be an indication to him how serious you are about your marriage to him. Secondly, are you sure he doesn't realize his non efforts? or does he just not care to make the effort? Sometimes we make excuses for something we don't want to face or realize. I would give him the 'benefit of the doubt' and have a sit down talk with him about your concerns. If nothing changes, then you know, he doesn't care enough to make the effort and it's time to hit the road. Marriage is a plain and simple game of give and take of one's self.

ie: one loves the other enough to put that partners needs first before their own (not all the time, it's a balance game on both parties). You either want the marriage or you don't. Marriage is work, things don't fall into place automatically. To make it work, both parties need to be turning the wheel together. Hope all works out for you.  

21 years of marriage & effort

on my part alone...now getting a divorce

Answer 3

Don't kiss is @ss. Leave for a few days if he won't talk about it or try to make things better in your relationship.

It might make him realize that you mean business and that you mean more to him than he thinks.

If he still doesn't care after you have been absent, do you want to waste your life with someone who doesn't love you enough to try? Life is too short. Don't waste your time. Move on. Loneliness is better than indifference and you will become more and more confident of yourself as time goes by.

Hopefully then, you will meet someone who loves you for being you and WANTS to be with you.

Answer 4

just talk to him... ask him what the go is... the internet prob wont help, your best talking to him :)

Answer 5

First step back & read what u wrote. Don't neglect your family, you need family and friends support to get through this difficult time. Either way you need to have them in your life.

It's going to be hard but it's your approach to your husband. Men don't think like women.  Figure out what you expect of him to contribute to making your relationship work. Be realistic.

Listen to your husband, find out what he can do.  He might not know what or how to do something.  Realize you both have to try together at the same time! Marriage is about compromise, give and take and it's never 50/50.  But there should be a balance.  Where you both realize that together your better than as individuals.  

Seek marriage counseling, communication is key.  Realize you can't convince him that your marriage is the best thing you've both had.  He has to figure that one out for himself.  Also be aware, is there someone or something else in his life going on that is preventing him to committing to you? I'm a firm believer in prayer and asking God for clarity of the mind to see what he wants you to see.  Good luck.

Answer 6

sweetie he maybe the best thing YOU have had BUT YOU may not be the BEST THING he has had and this is why he is not putting forth the effort. at this point you both are on two different pages in life. and you seem to love him more, and want the marriage to work more so much so that you have put YOUR FAMILY on the back burner for this MAN who can care less about you, your family and the marriage. STOP putting you ALL into HIM and PUT YOUR ALL INTO YOU. you cant make him love you, you cant make him want the marriage, BUT you can love you, you can love your FAMILY who will be there when he is GONE. DONT ever turn you back on your family because they will be there when the dust settles. always keep husband in his place and the family in theirs but dont ever total turn your back on them. sweetie you have to respect and accept the fact that he may not want to be married anymore or at least to YOU. you as a woman and a wife should not have to jump through hoops to get him to see that you are a GEM he should already know that. GodBless

Answer 7

Stop doing what you dont want to do.  If it doesnt get done, so what.  Dont expect him to do anything of you dont talk to him about it.