I never get along with my brother. I m going mad. Pls help.

Question

My brother and I have never gotten along, since childhood. He is the black sheep of my family. He has a minor mental problem, is asocial and is aloof. I always dream of having a brother who I can be proud of.

He has only minimum academic qualifications and is working for a low pay. As if these were not enough, he commands everyone at home and even gets violent if he does not get his way. Me being his younger sister, I feel upset when I have to give in to his demands after much fighting. I'm of marriageable age, but I still can't seem to get rid of all the trauma I have gathered in my mind because of him. For me, he is the root of all my problems in life. My mind has started blaming him subconsciously for all my issues. When friends inquire about him, I get a pang of guilt. I avoid talking about him at all costs. I feel ashamed of myself and my family because of him. He never talks even to my cousins. All this makes me feel inferior. I keep cursing myself, him and fate for all that happens to me. I go mad and get into bouts of depression. Pls help.

Answer 1

you stated that he has a mental problem and then start babbling

you are a young woman and should be living your own life so give up on blaming everything on him and just let it go

Answer 2

i am in total agreement with MS.

besides i feel u r pouring all of your problems over your brother which is not right.its only you who can make you superior or inferior,not your brother.

start making your life better& stop bothering about your brother's life until & unless you are able to uplift his income.

i hope you'll start living happier life by keeping aforementioned things in mind.

Answer 3

Join the club! my brother is so annoying,,,he's a a know it all

Answer 4

I believe it's the movie "Home for the Holidays" that has a good quote for this situation:  "We're family...we don't have to love each other" or something to that effect.  Some families are close, others can't stand to be in the same zip code.  I know my family it's extremely close, but we all have fun and get along when we manage to get together.  I can easily go months, and have gone years without talking to or seeing some of my siblings.  It just depends on the family and the dynamics.  

The Serenity Prayer applys in many aspects of life:  "God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference."  (You can knock out the religious subtext if that works for you and just take the advice)  ;)