I no longer see the point to life and feel hopeless.

Question

I often wish I could go back to being 19 and re-live these past. Im about to turn 22 and feel awful. I havent slept in about a week or ate. Ive lost 15 pounds these past two weeks because i cant eat. i try to go out shopping to make myself feel better but i end up crying in the car. im crying right now. I know i cant expect someone on yahoo answers to fix my life but i need to vent. I used to be such an artistic person, not only that, but i was passionate to a fault. no one could sway me. after so many years of hearing my dad tell me to be practical and calling me a loser i have lost my ambition and my dreams are dying. I have no friends, they are all married. i have no boyfriend. I never wanted to get married and have kids and seeing people so happily married made me wonder "Is this all there is to life?". Im having a hard time accepting that all life is is a means of securing a comfortable death. sometimes i get the overwhelming urge to drive with my eyes closed to hopefully die in an accident. My mom tells me ill feel better when im done with school and can afford nice furniture, ect. but she doesnt understand. If i could live in a hut with no belongings and be absolutely content and happy, i would choose that option over materialistic things every time. at 22, no longer pursuing my personal goals of music and art, i feel maybe i better jump on the wagon and get married. only i havent met anyone. My sister passed away in 2000, and i swear i simply feel like the wrong sister died that day.

Answer 1

I also battle depression. You need to try an anti-depressant to help you get out of this and also see a therapist to help you through it. Depression is an illness and you need to treat it like you would any other health problem because that's what it is. Trust me i know from experience. One positive i see is that you are 22 years old and still have not married and had kids. This is a positive thing. Its a great opportunity to focus on getting well and start to plan what you want to do with your life. I also understand the feeling of sort of being detached from reality and feeling that our lives are pointless and that the things we sacrafice a great deal of our time and energy to don't seem to be that important in the big scheme of things.

Right now you are feeling a heavy weight on your heart and soul and its good that you are reaching out for help because right now you are overwhelmed with all these feelings. If you want to talk anymore about this you can email me i would be happy to help you get through it as far as talking to someone about it. I have had depression problems since 15 so i know that i could help in some ways. I am now 34 so i have been dealing with it a long time. You have so many opportunities to do what humans do pursue our dreams and learn to enjoy the journey of doing that.

Answer 2

go see a doctor u have a severe case of depression and it can lead to sucide c a doctor 2day!

Answer 3

Get help ASAP.

Answer 4

I can understand your need to vent.

I definitely recommend that you don't 'jump on the wagon and get married'. If you were to get married because you thought it was a means of solving your depression then it wouldn't last very long. You're 22, you've got plenty of years ahead of you; just say f*** to your father and his comments and prove him wrong. The only thing that stops me from topping myself is the idea that one day I'll be doing something I enjoy - just keep working on your art and music and one day it'll pay off.

Best of luck!!

xx

Answer 5

I suffer from very bad Depression. I'm only 16 years and I used to feel that I was "too old" and wanted to end my life.

In the end I got help. I went to see my Doctor and he gave me PROZAC. At first I felt worse. I would wake up and had this instant feeling of "doom"...

I would cry non stop. Not go out and socialise with friends and family.

To make things worse my Mum and Sister would be at work all day and I would be on my own - something which I hate.

In time I got better. I dont feel "normal" - even though there isn't such thing.. but I felt better.

Ive stopped crying everyday and I think positive about things. And that is what you need to do. You've mentioned music and art. It sounds to me you have a passion for this! Why not carry on with it all. It will take your mind of so many things... believe me.

I've been Depressed for almost two years. I've learnt how to cope with it.

Do something which you feel will take your mind off the situation. And remember , you're not alone hun, Depression is such a common thing..

I advise you to go to a Doctor asap.

Good bless and goodluck.  

Answer 6

Life is suffering. That is one of Buddhas four noble truths. Many many artists and musicians have had some sort of neurosis that has made them what they are. Unique and talented and interesting individuals. Add to that the stress of your problems with your dad and your sister dying and being only 22 trying to figure out your entire future. Listen, just take life day by day. Dont think about tomorrow for now especially in these stressful times. Let your creative abilities flourish in whatever fashion it prefers. An painter must paint, a writer must write if he/she is ultimately going to be happy with him/herself. But for now, understand that you need to take a break or long vacation or some long naps. Give yourself this time.