I promised myself i wouldn't be in this position...?

Question

Ive been dating this girl for a couple of months. We have been great friends for years, but recently about 3 or 4 months ago, we decided to give a solid relationship a shot. The past couple of months have been more than what i could of asked for. This entire relationship thing was her idea, and shes always telling me how much she adores me, so i know that she really does like me a lot. Previously, all of my past relationships have been terrible so it makes this thing i have going with her even better. Now that September has rolled around, college has started again and she goes to a school that is like a days driving away, while I am commuting to school from my home.

Originally, i was iffy about this relationship. Being that i was such good friends with her, i knew that she has cheated on her previous boyfriends. This made me a little weary about actually pursuing a relationship with her, but i did it anyway. I have brought it up to her, and she assured me that she wouldnt do that to me. She told me that she does want to be with me even when she is in college and that if i ever did find anybody else, to tell her. I told her that if she would stay with me, then i would stay with her and i wouldn't bother with other girls.

She is in college right now and i cant get the underlying fear that she will cheat on me out of my head, due to the fact that she has cheated on practically all of her past boyfriends many many times. Shes been gone for a week, and shes all that i can think of....that and that fact that i might be wasting my time staying in a long distance relationship with her.

My classes start tomorrow and i don't want to be in this position where i cant stop thinking about her and what she might potentially do to me. I feel like it will distract me from doing work. I know for a fact that i am overreacting, but i cant figure out why. What should I do?

Answer 1

All you can do is trust your girlfriend if you want to make this work.  Don't keep telling her you are insecure about her cheating, or she will end up doing it!  History does repeat itself and she has been a cheater in the past.  But you are her friend.  Maybe it will be different this time because you are starting out with a stronger foundation than her other relationships.  Just calm down and give it a chance. If you can't trust her then you should break up with her.  

Answer 2

It may possibly hurt your studies.

If you have seen she's cheated on every boyfriend, then I'd think of a way to tell her to hae u 2 go back to being just friends.  

She's too young to quit being a s**t this soon. She's going to have to be worn down to where no one wants her   before she can commit.  

Break it off  so you can do your school work with ease.

Answer 3

End it.

Its not called a relationship if there is no trust.

And why bother? Always having the thought in the back of your mind will eventually drive you insane so you might as well end the relationship now than wait until it gets out of hand.

What the worst that could happen?? you guys can still be friends.  

Answer 4

I think that you should give it time, maybe she has changed.  After all you are her best friend, you should trust her until she proves otherwise.  

Answer 5

I think that because you two are such good friends she will tell you if she cheats. I think that we all come across that one guy that finally sets us straight (us cheaters) The guy we would not cheat on if our lives depended on it. Maybe you are that guy for her.

Note: Then when we find the guy he knows our past and usually spends the entire relationship accusing us of cheating.  

Answer 6

You aren't really overreacting.  You are telling yourself that there is a big possibility that she will meet someone else, especially because she is at a college with many other students.  She is going to classes but may also go to parties too.  Yes, she will see and meet other guys especially if she is pretty.  You are not there to keep watch on her and that really bothers you.  You only have her word that she will stay true to you.  Then live with that for now.  Believe that she will be committed to you in a relationship and go on with your life at school.  Stay in touch with her but stay in touch with your friends too.  Remember, she has to trust you too.  Don't get very upset because nothing has happened.  If it does, you will have to handle it at that time.  If you seem sure of yourself and don't question her about other guys....she will wonder what's up with you and stay intrigued with you.  

Answer 7

This  is happening because you don't trust  her do to her past.   Now that the relationship is long distance and your not around to see what she does.  You think she will cheat.  All you can do is trust that she won't cheat.  Or break  up with her.