I pushed his love away, doe I loved him too, he moved on- his love shouldnt have lasted anyway?

Question

We were only friends for years, but at some point we fall inlove.

I wasnt capable of having a relationship(was messed up with childhood abbuse stuff) and kept on pushing him away unwillingly.

I decided to get help, but in the meantime i lost contact with him for a year. Now i am ready, but i found out that he is in a serious relationship.

Why and how can someone who loves do this?

People have pushed me away too, but i did not go running to replace them in my life.

If he would only had some fllings, i can accept that, but a serious relationship seems as a betrayal.

I still love him and i wont go shacking up with the first guy i like only because the real love of my life does not want me!

Am i exagerating with my expectations?

If a mother looses a child for years, and the child comes back, is he not her child anymore? Why is it any different with romantic love?

Contrary to what people say, i wont move on, cause than i would really be a selfish pig, with a swicth On/Off for her feelings.

Can he take me back or was he just thinking that he loves me but really didnt?

Answer 1

well if YOU were pushing him away for so long, then he probably had no choice but to move on.  You should probably do the same thing.  Dont think you are being selfish for being with someone else, who is to say this guy was the one for you.  I believe things happen for a reason.  Whos to say, you were destined to be in this situation in order to meet your one true love in someone else.  I have seen tooo many situations where something similar to this happens and i have yet to hear about at least one success story.  Think long and hard about what you want because after all, YOU come before anything.  YOUR happiness should be first.  Good things come to those who wait.   Good Luck...

Answer 2

The thing is, you broke it off with him, so it's selfish to expect him to just wait for you while you sort yourself out

He has moved on so you will have to accept it.

Do not at all compare romantic love to a mother's love for her child. Those are two completely different/unrelated things.

He has found someone new. If you want him to be happy and truly love him, you've gotta let him go and live his life.  

Answer 3

You already asked this question..DUH!!!

Answer 4

i think..... you should go and have frank talk with him..... tell all you feel about him... and what hurted you..... tell him all this what you wrote here..... and then wait for his answer........ my possible he is doing all this just to make you feel jealous........



hav a talk with him!

gud luk!

Answer 5

You've already asked this question and my answer to you is the same!

If you choose to sit and waste your life away hoping and waiting for him to come back to you, that's your call........but the time you waste waiting is time you will never get back and you're missing out on the opportunity to meet someone who will love you.

You're too quick to use the term "selfish pig"......that comment doesn't even fit in with this scenario.

If there was abuse in your family when you were a child, it has obviously affected your thinking and your thought processing.  You really should consider counselling.

He probably really did love you at one time, but he has moved on and you need to accept that and respect his decision.  Sometimes loving someone means letting them go to be happy with someone else.

Edit:  You certainly didn't offend me with the selfish pig comment.....but in your other question, you referred to guys being selfish pigs and in this one, you referred to yourself as a selfish pig if you don't wait.  That's just so wrong to degrade others and yourself like that......especially in a situation like this.