I quit martial arts about 2 months ago& Ive been mad ever since.Now Im scared doubting myself in a fight.I ?

Question

quit because of sexual harrassment that almost lead to rape.I've been in boxing for a month&they wanted me to go pro.Why am I scard of everything now?I used to not be.Im kinda mean when scared.whats going on.

Answer 1

It's really not that hard to figure out. You quit two months ago because of a traumatic experience and attempted to push it aside instead of dealing with it.

So you understand, you're not frightened, you're worried, which is fear's ugly stepchild that's kept in the basement. Worry carries a lot of the same responses as fear, but is brought about by our analytical processes. Likely, you're worried that if you put too much of yourself into this boxing opportunity that you'll end up hurt/disappointed like you were with your last group. Or you're worried that you handled things badly with your last group and it meant that you were weak or something.

You told us a lot by how you worded your statement. You felt the why of leaving your last group was an important detail. You said you're scared now when you weren't before. These scream unresolved conflict.

You need to find a way to let it go. Talk to someone, even if only calling and talking to someone at a rape crisis center.

I knew a woman who was choked and nearly raped before someone came along and scared the guy off. What I did with her was recreate the scenario in a training environment -- found out the details and helped her re-experience it. She froze up every time my hands went to her throat. So we slowed down, walked through what to do, then went back to it. Once she'd practiced the technique, every time I'd put my hands around her throat, she'd respond perfectly. She felt better about it as well.

It wasn't about her knowing what to do in every situation, but having a chance to create a new situation in which she was able to get away safely to rebuild her confidence and help her move on. Sometimes the "playacting" that so many people frown upon is just what a person needs for a little catharsis.

Good luck. If you need anything, feel free to message me.