I"Ve BEEN HURT TOO MANY TIMES

Question

im 16 and my mom used to mean everything to me now i never want to see her face!!!!

her mom died a couple years back...then last year her father died and she left for 8 months she came back for 1 month and left us again. for that whole 1 month she yelled at my and my family especially my dad who i love dearly to my heart. and she always puts us down saying well never make it in life and always says she doesnt love my father and wants a devorce. But when she left she didnt say good bye or i love you and i didnt even bother saying it because im so made at her.

why diud she walk out on us why does she have to be a ***** to my dad and why does she say these things.. i havent talked to her since and my dad tries to make me talk to her. FYI she left at the end of april

also i can understand her wanting to live with her brother and cousins cuz thats all she has left just her 2 brothers. their wives and children

but why the **** does she treat us like she doesnt love us and this is hard for me especially cuz im the youngest and my bro and sis and adults already and i just cant stand it anymore..and for that one month when she came back she always out me down especially calling me dumb and i cant do anything right.. and you cant imagine how many times i kept myself from runnning away, i had money and i even told my friends if i do can i live with them and they all said yes but i shouldnt.. but i hate what has become and i dont want to live with this anymore

Answer 1

I agree with Jerry.  Have you ever thought about talking with a family therapist?  That may help.  It sounds as if your mom has a lot of personal problems that she needs to deal with and she takes her anger and frustration out on you and your dad.  I can't imagine  how you must feel but keep in mind that you haven't done anything wrong....your mother just has problems...

Answer 2

I'm sorry but you just need to keep in mind things will get better and that may not seem true but I promise it is. Just have faith and hope. Just forgive your mom for all she's done and put her out of your mind, that's the only way you can move on with your life.  

Answer 3

I'm very sorry for you to have to put up with all this stuff just when you need to be concentrating on your own life and future. Thank G-d you are 16 and not 6.  At least you are not at the mercy of your parents much longer.  You will be all grown up and out in the world making your own rules and life soon.  Try not to be so judgmental and hard on your Mom. Forgive her for your own peace of mind.  Try not to take her personally.  She loves you.  She may be going through an emotional and nervous breakdown right now.  Try to put yourself in her shoes.  Parents are just people too. Trust me - she will kick herself endlessly for this one day.

Answer 4

Sound like she is taking things that she is going through out on the ones she loves the most.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like she has a depression problem and it's getting worse. There isn't much you can do for her at your age and I doubt she will listen to your dad.

It will not get better on it's own - maybe you can suggest to her brother to encourage her to seek help.

Answer 6

forget her

scratch her out of your life

comfort your daddy

poor man

Answer 7

dude that sucks! im sorry to hear that and there isnt really anything i can do except hope that you and your moms get happy again. Ill tell you what though..ur mom is going thru a very hard time and people deal wit that stuff diffrent right? dont get me wrong its not fair shes taking it out on you guys...but is it fair that god took her mom and dad in the span of one year? life isnt fair and none of you are perfect...ur mom was a lil girl not THAT long ago and she acts big and strong but its gotta just get to much sometimes right? Theres this show called good times when the dad dies and the mom acts all happy and joyful and the kids think THATS weird and want to know whys reacting like that and finally like a long time later the mom just smashes a glass and starts crying. sometimes it just takes a long time for people to accept it. whatever dude i wish u luck for real though and tell your mom u love her cuz u know u do

Answer 8

just write her off of your life. sometimes you've got to care about yourself more than your family member can. tell your dad to quit making you be nice to her because you won't do it and you don't think you deserve it. You're 16...concentrate on the future because it's yours for the taking in a few yes. get a job, save up money, do good in school, and once you're 18 get out of there, and build yourself a positive future. don't lose hope because there's always tomorrow.

Answer 9

she is undergoing lot of mental depression becz of death of her parents, it has taken toll on her mind and thats why she is acting weird, this is the moment all of you need to support her and show her still you all care for her and want her, as u love your father so much, she too might have loved them and that has effected her drasticaly, please be with little bit of patience and take her to a psychartist and she will come out of this kind of depression. she wants to say with her bro and sis bcz she might be feeling lot of secure with them.

and dont run away from home just becz u have little money, be careful u will end up in a bad state as friends may take advantage of your weakness.

Answer 10

I really don't have any answer about your mom, but I can say that for some reason she is blaming herself for something and obviously taking it out on you and your father.  Talk to him about how you feel and if you can get him to talk about his feelings you will probably find out how difficult of a time he is having as well.  You have to remember that you still have your dad and he loves you very much.  No one can replace a parent when you lose them, but when you are an adult, your not supposed to turn to siblings to help you get through those things.  It is supposed to be your husband and children.  I lost my mother 2 yrs ago, but I have a husband and children that I turned to for support.  Your mother used this as an excuse to do what she is doing for her own selfish reasons.  Just remember, you still have your dad and he needs your support more now than he ever did.