I really, really! Need advice on this!!??

Question

I have an audition next friday to get into an acting school. However, since I started learning my monologues (speeches) for the audition I've been feeling incredibly HUGELY! down and sad. The sadness has been building over the days and it has nothing to do with the worry of the audition (I don't think it has) or the fact that this school requires alot of energy (which I possibly lack). I'm confident that I'm going to do well. Yet every night I cry my eyes out over my family. I feel so sad about myself. I regret bad things I've done to them in the past, things that probably don't matter that much, and I've never really thought about until now! I've been out of work for a year, while my brother works as a plumber, my mam is a house wife and deserves everything in the whole world more then I ever will. My dad is a hero in my eyes! I don't feel I deserve to bother them with my ambition to be an actress, even though I havn't really gloated or anything. My mam tells me not to worry (she shouldn't, I don't deserve it), my dad encourages me, my brother and his girlfriend think my ambition is a turning point in my quiet life. I feel like I'm dieing! As I type I'm crying, I feel soo sad and down right now!! Please can anyone try to explain what's wrong if you can. Please!!

Answer 1

the grief of giving up your old/former life.

mourn it as if it was a person who died.

you must mourn when you lose something.

every change means a loss.  allow yourself to mourn.

don't try to figure it all out.  just keep learning your speeches

and doing the work to succeed.  and grieve/mourn in between.

Answer 2

i think you have depression! You should go to a therapist  

Answer 3

You sound as if you are apprehensive about leaving the nest. It could be causing depression. You didn't say how old you are but if there are things that bother you about your past with your family talk to them. Apologize and tell them how much you love them. Take a day at a time. Follow your dream and do your best. If you don't succeed in acting school try for something else. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Fear of success.  I have been there.  When it is something you want so bad, you end up sabotaging yourself.  For me, it was an attitude of "if I don't try, then I can't fail".  If it was something I wanted, I didn't want to try because then I could validate why I didn't get something I wanted so bad.  It would be more crushing to do my best and then be disappointed.  I also agree that you are mourning an ending in a way.  You are transitioning to an adult, and you are leaving your family, even if they will still be there.  Life changes are scary, knowing that it's up to you now is scary.  And there is a touch of the survivor guilt type thing, "why do I get to follow my dream, when my mom didn't?"  You just have to learn to deal with the guilt, and show the people that helped you be able to follow it that you appreciate it so you won't feel ungrateful because you obviously are grateful.  I feel guilty when I throw away food, who am I to throw away food when some people don't have any?  It's self destructive behavior.  Think to yourself "why not me", you should have the opportunity to pursue something that you love.  Be grateful that you have the chance.  Wasting the chance would be worse, because there are many people who would love to have it but can't because of other circumstances.

Answer 5

Turn to God. He will fill the void in you . And will fill up all the needs you need. And will take away your sadness and guilt. All that is required is a little faith. Try reading the bible, try an take it seriously and find a good christian church. I was in a similar situation  and god really has helped me and god's word helped me understand him. Look up the band flyleaf and look up the lead singer lacey and hear about her testimony. God put this band in my life to inspire me to grow in my faith.

    Lot of ppl may thinkI'mm crazy, but if you experienced what iveexperiencedd spiritually you wouldn't be thinking like that

Answer 6

Go see a therapist.

Answer 7

You feel sad because you are afraid to fail and let your family down.

don't be ! try to relax ( some Yoga or meditation )  or if you are religious

you can go to your prying place (Church, Mosque, ... etc   )

some may suggest going to a psychiatrist but it will cost you lots of money so don't

try talking to you family and friends about it

and if you want, send me an Email and I will help you with anything I cloud  

Answer 8

It's a turning point in your life.  You are moving from being the child to an adult.  Are you moving out?  If so, that's probably a big part, too.  The sadness is about a chapter in your life coming to an end.  It's normal.  Try to appreciate the incredible adventure that the new one beginning will bring.  After all, your family will all be there.  They are not going away.

Answer 9

You are feeling guilty for when you get a chance to realize your dreams you also realize what your family has done to help you to getting toward those dreams and what they have sacraficed. But if i was you a i would get some anti depresants and tissues and since you are a girl ( i have 3 sisters) get chocolate!

Answer 10

think about what you want to do and what you wnat to be. go for it make it come true, and just remeber the past is nothing but exsperince and it made you who you are. and right now you are a girl with a dream. dreams are important. just focus on yoru dream and that should carry you to a better place. message me if you need more help!

Answer 11

go to the beach and listen to your ipod