I really could use some support right now :(

Question

Okay to get u up to date, ive had councilors since i was in 3rd grade due to physical and sexual abuse, i recently tried commiting suicide and was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychosis. im supposed to be taking medication but dont take it alot, this is why.

I have always wanted to be in the military, but if they knew what my mental state is, they would not ever accept me. it makes me so depressed, i have always wanted to help people, and i currently want to join the Coast Guard to become a Rescue Swimmer. its my dream, but it gets me sad knowing that i will probably never be able to do that.

idk what to do. i just want so bad to join the Coast Guard and serve my country. I even now try to think that theres no such thing as a mental illness, and that its just in peoples thoughts and that medication is useless and un neccessary. i know i have horrible relapses and psychotic phases, i just cant cope with the fact i am limited in what i do with my life. :( i just dont know what to do. i need help, but cant get help cuz it will just make it worse. so idk what i need. :(

Answer 1

"As a man thinketh, so is he"--  Proverbs 23:7. Only speak the positive things that you want to occur in your life--words have power. You're also not the only person who has issues. Use your life--whether tragic or triumphant, as a way to inspire or enlighten others.

Also, find people who will support you and/or understand your struggles, and only involve yourself with those who are positive.Try to stay active (idle hands are the devil's playground). Find something that interests you and go with it (activity, hobby, job,etc.) Obviously, your love is swimming and helping others- you don't have to join the Coast Guard for that. With positivity and prayer you will be just fine. Be blessed:D

Answer 2

I was sexuallly abuse as a baby and even as a child and what worked for me was God. He taugt me it was not my fault and he gave me the strength to forgive the person. You have to realize this was not your fault it never was and i know how you feel. God gave me the Strength and he can do it for you if you ask him.

Answer 3

I say keep going to the counsler, they can help you out more.

I actually think that if you were able to really try and do the best that you can in trying to become a Rescue Swimmer, you probably will not be so depressed. You would be working for something you really want. You need to fight the whole way, and yeah it is going to be tuff, but in the end when you make it, you will feel great about yourself because you know you did it.

Also, try joining support groups so you have people you can talk to and relate too. You will not feel so alone.

Keep taking the medicine, even though you may not want too. I know someone who stopped taking her medicine, and long story short, she went completely insane and eventually tried killing herself. I'm happy it didn't work though, because if she left, i would be completely devistated. I can imagine your family would be the same. The meds now keep her stable and she is starting to get better now. You can function on the medicine is basically what im saying.

I really hope things work out for you. :]

Answer 4

Mental instability-

You dont want to call it mental illness since you're not sick in the head, but, your abuse has damaged your ability to see the world in a healthy way, unfortunately.

I dont believe that medication is useless- as long as it is prescribed carefully. People who have endured extremely damaging situations may need it because they have terrible feelings/thoughts/anxiety as a result & why suffer? Some medications make people feel more stable & calm & I see nothing wrong with that-

Anyway, I think you should see a therapist who you really trust. See if what they say makes sense. If not- move on to the next until you feel very comfortable. I wish you the best of luck & remember, we are all trying to find our way...

Answer 5

im sorry for what has happened to you...

i know this may not help but...

i too struggle with depression and was on medication. im only 14. i have also thought about suicide but life is too precious to lose/waste/destroy. no matter what happens dont do it. it will all work out in the end. i may not know exactly what happened to you or how bad it was but just remember there are people that love you and are wiling to help you...

if you ever need any one to talk to...

im here =]]

[e-mail]

Answer 6

How do you know that NG won't accept you until you try?

If you're so depressed about not being able to help people, then getting out and doing it is bound to help, will it not?

A  lot of people have been in the same state as yourself, but they are out doing something with themselves.  People get more and more wrapped up in themselves and wanting the attention of being depressed(I'm not saying this is you) and they use it as a pathetic excuse not to get on with their lives.

You are never limited except in your own mind, so get off your *** and check into it.  You use your depression as an excuse.  Stop it.

Answer 7

Life is one ******* beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... **** that. And **** the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and **** the rest

Answer 8

You can do whatever you set your mind to do.

Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Answer 9

Well if you are very serious about serving your country, try as hard as you can to get over your illness. I know it is hard, and it may take time, but if you really put your mind to it, then I bet you can overcome it and become a proud member of the United States Coast Guard. Think of it as a wall, and you have to jump over that wall.

Answer 10

Just know everything will be alright. You are looking at the negatives aspects of life. Look at the positive sides. Do not doubt yourself. People overcome obstacles everyday. If you put your mind into it. you can overcome your mental state of mind. There will be a brighter day through Jesus Christ. Try going to a psychiatrist. someone more professional. You are not limited. Plus you can always serve your country doing other things. I think the military in my opinion will make things worse, because a lot of soldiers, ect come back traumatized and suicidal.