I really dislike my future brother-in-law...?

Question

Please don't tell me to stop being petty, because I can't help my feelings of dislike. He and I just don't get along, and our personalities seem to clash each time we're around each other. I've tried so hard to behave myself for my sister's sake, but I'm at the point where I just can't go over to my parent's house anymore because I don't want to see him. Every time I drive up to their house and see his car in the driveway, I'm tempted to just keep driving.

His way of being "nice" to my sister is by putting me down. He even went so far as to tell me that he didn't pay any attention to my wedding ceremony whatsoever because my sister was there and she was the most beautiful person at MY wedding. I don't care who you are, but I think it's so rude to say that someone else is prettier than the bride on her wedding day! It's so many little things like that that are just grating on my every last nerve. I just can't take it anymore. He takes every opporunity to either disagree with me or one-up what I say. It's so bad that my husband is considering getting in the middle of it and demanding that he starts treating me better.

Little does brother-in-law know, but she probably wouldn't have given him a chance if I hadn't encouraged her. Now I'm starting to regret it.

Any suggestions as to what I could say to him? I would like to solve our problems diplomatically, but that may not be possible if he keeps this up...

Answer 1

If you could speak privately with your future brother-in-law then go ahead and tell him to stop putting you down.  Tell him that you want to get along with him for the sake of your sister.  Try not to drag the whole family into the discussion.  He may always be a creep but if you give him this warning he might quit the rude comments.  Of course he might hate you forever but the main thing is making him shut up.  Good luck.

Answer 2

He's likely a paper tiger and I'd encourage you to tell him exactly how you feel, what cesspool from which he emerged, how much you can still smell the excrement, and how he can go right back from whence he came.  Spare no word, no anger, and do it up brown, and end with, "If you can't say something nice, shut the h--- up."