I really do love him, but I still CONSTANTLY think of divorce. Whats my problem?

Question

I love my husband very much. I have alot of issues with him though. He doesn't know how to be a good husband. He is controlling at times, physical and just an a ss. We have fought our entire marriage. We do have good times though. I feel like even though we love eachother dearly we would be better off apart. He is never home and I dont' deal with that well at all. I get mad that he's not here, but then when he is here I'm mad cuz he's here and takes over. I'm an emotional wreck...Advice Please

Answer 1

I think you need to tell him how you feel, will he listen?  Then, I would ask him to consider marriage counseling.  I would explore all my options before jumping towards divorce.  Even if your husband won't go to marriage counseling, I would suggest you go on your own, it will help you with your decision.  Good Luck.

Answer 2

only you can decide what's best for you, you have to weigh the options is better to stay with him and fight though or leave. I hope you have voiced your feelings to him and if so then I think maybe ya'll should take some time apart, not to see other people or anything, but to see how much you'd miss each other. I think that'll do the trick....or maybe if ya'll attend some type of counseling, because marriage is something that is sacred and whatnot but at the same time it could be a sign signaling you to let it go...best of luck hun!

Answer 3

Sounds to me like you guys need some time and distance apart to sort your own heads out.

You never know what will happen when you put some distance between you, and it's kinda scary at first. It's WELL worth it though - you'll either grow apart or appreciate each other all over again with a freshness that ONLY time and distance can create.

Do nothing and rest assured things will only get worse. You're responsible to give love a chance to grow and mature - growing isn't always real comfortable or easy, but love is more than worth it.

Hope that made sense :)

Answer 4

You have completely described my marriage to my now ex. It really did turn out to be my fault I was in such a relationship though because I allowed him to treat me that way and I was to afraid to be alone. He to was gone alot and I hated it and felt alone but when there he treated me like shttt and I hated it to. Do yourself a favor before to much time passes and divorce him as it sounds like you are definitely not happy and life is to short not to be. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Face it, he was like this before you married him and you married him because this was the best you could do.  so either raise your standards or shut the eff up.

Answer 6

You write:  He is controlling at times, physical and just an a ss. We have fought our entire marriage.

Have you two tried counseling?  If he will not go with you, then go alone.  

If things cannot be resolved, then it is better to end the marriage.

Answer 7

Hi,well it doesn't look like he values your marriage so girl you have a big decision to make.You either have to talk him into marriage counselling or say goodbye because everyone deserves happiness so go get a big chunk of that.If he doesn't respect you and your marriage now he never will.Really......good luck

Answer 8

Marriage isn't easy. It's hard work. It's a choice to stay together. It's a choice to love this man. It takes two to fight and from the sounds of your question, I wonder how much of this problem you are responsible for? Be honest with yourself and little self-reflective here. You're mad at him when he's not there and you're mad at him when he is there. Home doesn't seem like a pleasant place for him to be, so why would he want to come home? You talk about him being controlling, but you sound pretty controlling yourself. No man likes that. I suggest reading a book called The Proper Care and Feeding of your Husband. Women control the climate of their home and family and have way more power to their happiness than they realize. Men have very few needs to be happy, and when they are they will walk through fire for the women they love. Try a different approach, you might be surprised by the results.  

Answer 9

a little marital counseling may be in order, or a couples retreat maybe? If you both want it to work dont give up on it. Be SURE to talk to him,(not arguing) and let him know how you feel. Best of luck.

Answer 10

IF HE WANT TO GO LET HIM GO......LET HIM KNOW WHAT HE WALKED OUT ON AND WHAT  HE WILL MISSING OUT ON