in my family. Although I'm twenty-one years old, my fear is that I will be rejected even more so than what I've been rejected before. My half-brother learned that he is having a girl which means that I'm going to become an aunt for the third time. I never had a healthy relationship with him, and I don't like his girlfriend, who is the mother of their daughter-to-be. It's obvious that she knows where I stand in the family. Our mother has always favored him. It's apparent that he and his girlfriend talk about me behind my back, and that she feels she has the right away. I know that they're not going to make their daughter respect me. If my mother and I are in the same proximity, they'll ignore me. Prior to her becoming pregnant with their child, she looked at my mother on more than one occasion, and said,"Hi, Mom while I was present." My half-brother had the audacity to tell me that they were expecting when any other time, I'm ignored by them. What really hurt me was when my mother felt the need to invite her to a seminar that was exclusively for females of all ages. My thoughts were, how could you? Why should I feel like the tag along? Although she insited that we should unite as a family, why should it be during our quality time? His gilrfriend is someone who already knows how I'm treated, so I felt more than betrayed when she mentioned inviting her when it was suppose to be she and I. I've always been an outcast. The daughter that my brother's girlfriend has outside of their relationship looks older than her years. I'm almost certain that their daughter will more than likely look the same when she 's her age which would hurt, because I've always looked younger than my years. At twenty-one, I've never dated. I can easily be mistaken for twelve, I'm unappealing, and men definately aren't attrated to me. I'm "often" ridiculed. When their daughter is the age that I am, I'm going to be reminded of everything that I missed out on. It hurts that my mother will never hear about her teenage daughter going on her first date. She'll experience everything through her granddaughter; not her daughter. Because she's a female, friends and associates that are in her life will be discussed by her granddaughter; not her daughter since I've always been rejected. When the day comes that she's twenty-one, and she's loving every moment of her youth, and admiring every curve on her body, and enjoying the company of her friends and her boyfriend, I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't be jealous and hurt when reminded about everything that I never had. I feel as though there's no place for me. My mother has often placed other people before me. Growing up, I was always attacked by my mother's sister for being young. My mother never acknowleged any of my complaints about how I was treated. It hurts that now I'm in a predicament where my niece's youth will be waved in my face like a banner: Here's all of the things that you missed out on. I feel replaced. I can easily see where my mother would find everything that she wanted in a daughter in her granddaughter. I feel as though I going to be subject to taking my brother and his girlfriend's abuse, because they'll always have their daughter over me. I really feel as though I don't belong. I want to deal with the situation to the best of my ability, but I'm unable to be happy for their daughter. I'm fed-up with being happy for everyone. I literally hate the idea of being a terrific aunt when I had an aunt that made my life a living h**l whenever I was around her. I don't want to be the black sheep of the family in feeling subject to taking my brother and his girlfriend's abuse, because they're having a daughter and everyone is going to rally around his girfriend and their new born baby. I don't want to be the one that is soon forgotten. I'd be glad to accept any advice input. Pls don't make me feel any worse than what I already feel.
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