I really don't think I can gain motivation until I solve my other problems first. What do you think?

Question

I'm 17 and I consider myself an intelligent person. You'd think I'd get straight A's in school right? Well you wrong. I do get A's, it's just that I don't really work for them. Usually the classes I get A's for have either nice teachers, or the class is just easy and I don't have to do a lot of work. Any other class I don't do as well at. It's not even in school either. It stretches to my personal life as well. I have interests such as art, music, and acting but not the motivation to develop them. I've been depressed for a very long time. It's a combination of things. It's mainly my parents. My dad has problems with alcohol and he's been abusive towards my mom, mainly verbally but sometimes physically. I think my dad is an idiot who doesn't understand other people's feelings. An example of his stupidity is that he actually asked me if he and my mom should get a divorce. Why ask me? I'm his son. Why bring me into his pointless conflict? I was 14 at the time and having typical teen issues and he just made it all worse for me. He was fighting a lot with my mom and just acting like an idiot. They're still together and I wish they would just get divorced already. I hate my dad and do not spend time with him at all because it's just too uncomfortable for me. I can't even be in the same room as him. There's way more I could tell you about them, but it's just too long for me to type up. Since I was young, I was always shy and withdrawn and all that made it worse for me. Today I have no friends at all. I don't talk to anybody at school and any attempt they make to communicate with me is pointless as I won't respond. So any talent that I feel I have such as music and acting just gets ignored because I'm too busy solving all of my other problems. I'm getting counselling and we're working on it but it's still going to take a while. I really need to move out of my house because there is just too much tension and negative energy. Moving out won't solve my problem but it will at least be the first step towards it. My counsellor is going to help me with this. So basically, I don't feel I can have the motivation to develop my talents until I solve my other problems and get away from my family first.

Answer 1

Don't ever let yourself think that this is all there is to life!

Sounds like a lot of "your problems" are really your PARENTS PROBLEMS!  Let them be your parents problems.  If you have therapists or counselors trying ot help you, let them.  

Expressing yourself in creative ways can be a great outlet...LET IT OUT, LIVE!  Maybe you are full of so much much apathy and depression because you are not doing things you enjoy such as acting and art and music.  Maybe if you find some enjoyment in life you will feel motivated to care more?  You're never going to be able to fix YOUR PARENTS PROBLEMS!  esp. alcoholism!  you cant fix that!

Pick a college far away from your high school home and give yourself a fresh start.

Answer 2

I think you should try to focus on your own strengths & not other peoples' weaknesses. Positives, not negatives. If you google a short piece called Desiderata it should help you a lot at this time.

Best wishes. UK

Answer 3

I don't think moving out is the best option. You can develop whatever talents you have while still living at home.