I really feel lonely, please help...? problems with family...?

Question

Ok to get right to the point is.... nobody in my house likes me... except maybe my grandma and grandpa... but they dont have a saying in anything... but the thing is... when i am at home i feel like a slave... my parents brother etc just keep on shounting me around and when i dont do the things they yell something like " dont expect to get an allowance this month or something... i feel really hopeless... I got a scrape all over my arm on friday and they dont even care... the scrape is covering my entire arm from elbow to wrist on my right arm... so my brother ripped off the entire scab and i went to tell my mom and she said " it was probily an accident" and i tried to tell her he did it on purpose and he went mental in the room again.... but she just yelled at me to clean my room... i mean they dont even want me to do afterschool activities eg. volleyball the only sport i am good at.... i just feel emty... like no purpose in life...

im in year 11 now... just started today... what should i do... just ignore them... or should i just continue to be their slave... or ignore them and follow my dream... i know that my grandad said that if i go to

USA for my acting dream which im really good at he'll be my manager.... any advice.... i just hope my dad gets that job where-ever... but do you think it will change... ?

Answer 1

Well I'm gonna tell you what I would do If I were you. You should talk to you grandparents so that they at least know, maybe their opinion doesn't matter to anyone but It's good to have someone understand what is happening to you. Next, talk to ONE family member (your mom or dad, not your brother...) about how you feel. I don't' know what your relationship is like with your parents when it comes to talking about stuff but really try to tell them what you feel, tell them what you told us. I know you might not want to, but seriously, It's the only way out of this problem. After talking to them, hopefully they'll be understanding and change their attitude towards you, it might just be that they have been busy and stressed and didin't take the time to think about how they are making you feel. Good luck!!!

Answer 2

This sounds abusive. Can you stay with any relatives? Your family will miss you eventually. If you can't, refuse to be their slave and be strong about the punishments they dish out. Work hard in school so they don't have grades as a weapon against you.

As with your dream, no matter how hard it is to get there, you can do it. This will only make you stronger. Talking to your grandparents should help kill the emptiness. 11 is way too young to give up. Don't let your family hold you back!

Answer 3

I was never able to finish Year 11. In primary school, I was pretty, smart, had some friends, was good at sport, and one of 7 in my family. My reports were top, skipped a grade, dux of my year 7 class and just missed out on dux of the school by a point. I loved my family, but the more and more I visited my friends' houses, the more and more I realised that I was part of a wierd family. In Year 8, I was in the highest curriculum classes, pulling straight As. I was devastated when I got my first B+ for an assignment, so sometimes I had 5 As and 1 B. It was great being smart. Everything changed when it got rough at home. My father took to gambling and drinking, which allowed him to care less about his children sometimes and then follow us at night if we went out. Things got wierder, but I can't go there now. Anyway, my older sister took to the wrong group, was kicked out of home at the age of 15, made a ward of the state, living with another family. As sisters, we separated because I supported my dad instead of her. My grades turned to straight Fs and my dream of being a Pilot in the Navy flew out the window. I had to change schools and start again, but I could never pick up where I was doing so well at school or home. I returned to my original high school to complete Year 11, but pulled out a quarter way through- I couldn't take it all any more- too many disfunctional disruptions (and the school did not even pay attention to me going down). I lost my friends (my sister turned them against me). I lost my boy friend (good move when I think back). I lost my home (my dad sold up to change states). I lost my family (I refused to go with them). I thought about 'that way out', but I saw it as a way out of life, and life can only get better. Why should I miss out on my life and what the good part of the world holds for me, just because some of the bad part let me down? I rented a little caravan in an industrial area (cheaper), using the curtains for bedding, but it was still freezing. I was 15. Social Security (Centre Link now) supported me, and it was minimal, but it allowed me to move on. So much hardship had happened since, but I survived. I moved to a new area, took work, made new friends, made a new life and loved the excitement of doing so, of taking care of myself (later with a flat mate), or enjoying all the surprises. I am now one of the most happiest and successful of all the women I know, and I would not have got here today without all those horrible little stepping stones. I am alive and well, and still have a lifetime ahead of me. I am loved by my new family and even my old (wierd) one. I will always love them no matter what has happened, as they helped me get to where I am today: happier than ever. There is one thing, though. I have always wondered what my life would have been like in the Navy as a Pilot, my dream. I hope my story helps you figure this out. I will say one thing, though: Cutting school will only make it harder for your self, when it comes time to giving your self more choices with your life, and harder to return to. If you are doing really well at school, can you hang in there for just a bit longer? Your 14 years of school (Inc kindy and pre primary) will be killed by quitting the last 1.5 years. If there is physical or sexual abuse in your family, get out, other wise, use your family as a stepping stone to greater things. You have a roof over your head, food in your belly, your schoolling almost over, and dreams ahead from there. Good luck!

Answer 4

I have read your concerns and my heart goes out to you. I have also read some of your reply's. I just wana say. I have fostered many children your age in the past and I have found in my experience, no matter how difficult it may get at home ,everyone aches for the love of their family. Some say they get over it. But I often wonder. Although many can become very sucessful without the support of their family.And sometimes suceed better without their family holding them back. It't really depends on one own personality and desires what may be the proper thing to you. I have one girl for instance that disowned her family 10 years ago. She had a very tough life, howerver she has become very sucessful in her career, Personal relationships are still a problem. But yet when we are in a group socialising we ofter reminise about our childhood and funny things we all got up to. She will speak and laugh about her siblings with affection, When in every day life if I happen to run into one of her family or hear stories about them and share them with her she put up a barrier of resentment and hatred. So you see....Deep down, possibly way down we all want the love of our family. If you feel resentment now some day you'll need their love. Or worse still, as you get older all you have bottled up could rage up in you in uncontrlable anger that you maynot be able to control and make you very ill but emotionally and mentally, So my advice to you for what it's worth is.......sort your difficulties out now do not let resentment fester it will get out of your control, I think you should speak to your mother (Most of us mother's no matter how angry we get with our children) can soften if spoken to correctly, which is do not confront her with anger or critism, try to  it with care and affection. Do not tell your Mother she is wrong (ever though she may be) Ask her what she thinks may have gone wrong with your relationship and if your actions had anything to do with it. At Least this way if you give the impression your will to axcept responsibility or partial responsability you may get answers. And if she begins throwing all the blame on you..try not to respond in the same manner. When you feel you are going to have an out burst of anger. Press your lips together as if you are thinking. Count to 10 and if necessary leave the room. If your mother done all the talking, shouting etc. and you have spoken softly without correcting her. She is going to have a guilty consence. then when you feel the time is right, maybe 2 days. Repeat in the same manner. I'm sure you are but appear calm, loving, concerned and mature. Keep repeating until she replys in a calm mature manner. This is when you say in a gentle voice how you really feel. And tell her you love her and want to be able to share your thoughs with her. If you repeat this just as I explained you will eventually reach into her heart. Maybe this is your chance to help your mother???? If this does not work for you I think maybe you could try they same with your Daddy. And if that does not work I'd agree with Mag. Unless their is serious abuse. I think you should stay at home, finish your education. Take advantage of the accomadation an food. And head for the hills when your done. And I sencerly hope you find true happiness at the horrison. God bless and care for you. Kind regards, Ger

Answer 5

Try standing up to your brother and telling him that you're not going to allow him to rip scabs and mean it. Still, we all have brothers and sisters and arguments so if you can take things a little more lightly and not get so upset about everything it will be much better for you.

As for finding your acting dream, remember that where ever you go there you are--meaning that you are still the same you in Los Angeles or anywhere else. Don't expect heaven to be found in LA because as the saying goes "the kingdom of heaven is within". If you do go for acting, good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

This is a tuff one.  Your brother sounds like an @ss and if I were you I would just stay out of his way.  As far as the slave deal do you have any family that you can stay with?  An aunt, uncle or cusin that you can speak to would be good.  How old are you?  If you are at least 18 just move out.  If you dont have the money find a womans shelter to take you in or if you can not find one go to anyone of your local churches and they will help you find one.  Hope this helps.