I really like his Mom but I don't think she's Grandma material, help?

Question

I really like my boyfriend's mom and his whole immediate family. But I was thinking today, if we were to be married and have kids, I hesitate when I think of her as their Grandma. As for his stepdad as their Grandpa, don't get me started. What is the anxiety I feel? Is it because she is the polar opposite of my mother? Or maybe I don't feel comfortable enough?

Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Isn't there anything you find endearing about her? Try to look for the fun and sweet qualities that she may have.

Everyone has a weird family and every family dynamic is different. Unless you think that these people would cause mental, emotional or physical harm to your future child, then I would not worry.

You love your boyfriend right? Well, the woman must have done something right.

Answer 2

lf everyone though this deep into a relationship...then there would not be to many marriages.Who know's she may be the best grandma ever.

Answer 3

I haven't a clue why you're concerned about this -- you'd be the mother, and you'd be the person who would be your children's main caretaker and life influence.

Everyone is not cut out to be a grandma... or even a mom, for that matter.

I'm sure things will work out.

Answer 4

I too thought about having a child with my husband because I did not have a good relationship with his parents. I think it is not only perfectly normal but a good idea to think about the kind of family that you are going to bring a child into one day. It is important to remember that you are marrying the man, and that the family is just the icing on the cake; however it is difficult to have family tension. You and only you know how much you love this man, if you love him like you should to consider marriage and having a child, family problems won't and shouldn't stop you.

Answer 5

She cannot be a carbon copy of your mother. She may have some other very valuable qualities to share with her grandchild.. don't be too judgemental too soon,it might actually lead to further unjustified problems

Answer 6

both my in laws are sometimes hard to deal with but i don't care anymore, i married my wife not them.