I really need advice on this...

Question

I didn't know what other section to put this in so it is here. Please read it even though it is long. I feel sooo stuck and frustrated.

I have a friend, she used to be my best friend. Well our friendship started to fall downhill since March. The reason I think was because she wanted me to meet this guy she was having relations with but wasn't her boyfriend. And this guy along with his room mate tried to rape me right in front of her.

She cared for like 2 days then started seeing him again. It was like she completely put that behind her and didn't care that he was a jerk (which he was all along) she was so desperate that she stayed by him. And then later I find that she let him kind of "pass her around" to his friends. I pretended like I didn't care at first because he some how made her happy.

After that she started disagreeing with everything I say even when she knew I was right. I mean everything. for example: I would say oh my birthday is coming up... she would say no it isn't you still have a while when it was only 3 months away. I would say my mom's cemetery is far away she would say oh it's not far at all. When it is about 10 miles from where I live. She doesn't live on her own and when I say living on your own is hard she always says oh its not hard I don't get how people can't save that much and complain about bills.

She used to be a great friend but now that this worthless, good for nothing, guy who I know sleeps with other girls besides her and takes drugs and drinks has come into her life she is a completely different person.

Today I told her how I felt and about how she shouldn't be near this guy and she is going to fall right on her bum if she keeps it up with him. I told her that she should know better because she has s*x with him and his friends sometimes with out a condom because she thinks the pull out method is ok and it isn't because I wouldn't be surprised if she has an std already. And she got really mad at me for saying this, called me a **** for getting pregnant again and just stopped talking to me and hung up.

I don't know what to do about this. She WAS such a good friend. I don't know wheather to just stop being her friend and let her fall on her butt with this good for nothing looser or try to fix it when I don't think it can be fixed. I don't know how she can't see past this guy. He is just using her.

Answer 1

she will come crawling back to you, once he f***s her over & she realizes it. unless shes a complete idiot and keeps going back. but i mean like once he is completely done with her she wont have nobody. so thennnnn she will confide in you.

Answer 2

Let her go. You told her how you felt and you only wanted to help her but if she doesn't want it just go ahead and let her s***w her life up. She'll hopefully learn from that.

Answer 3

Okay, first she isn't being a very good friend to you if she called you a **** for ANY reason. Secondly, she knows that the guy is just using her, and she doesn't want to hear it! That's why she gets angry when you put it in her face.

Her lifestyle is self-destructive and I know that you don't want to see her get hurt, but I don't think she's going to listen to you or anyone else. Relationships, friendships included, are supposed to feel good, and it doesn't sound like she makes you feel good at all. Right now your friendship with her is one-sided. Not only that, but her lifestyle obviously isn't what you want to be around. I personally wouldn't want to hang around people like those, and I certainly wouldn't want to stick around and watch someone I consider a friend allow some guys to disrespect her. And I'm sure you don't want your kids exposed to that lifestyle! I think that if you keep on with her, she's just going to drag you down, and I think that if you cut ties with her and get on with your life, you'll feel a lot better.

Answer 4

thats such a tricky question wow okay so you have the option of dumping her, or trying to fix her.

firstly i have to say that your friend is a complete ***** for letting her friends nearly rape you, for that reason alone i would stop being friends with her.

but on the other hand i think she just needs the biggest wake up call and maybe the only thing that will do that is if you leave her, maybe then she will realise what a mistake she made.

i dont no wat to say besides that this is completely your descision and no matter wat i say it will be you that decides in the end. But if she was a really good friend to you then mayb u should try and save her, but on the other hand maybe your better off without her, people do change and maybe she has changed permanetley.

goodluck...

Answer 5

i know that eventually when he is done with her, she will realize everything. but i'd have a problem just letting this go. i would find out why she has a problem leaving him. and why she likes him, and i would tell her the whole truth. the real reason why she lets him use her and the fact that it wont last forever.maybe if you we're as harsh as possible, she'd think about it, and realize this before its too late.

Answer 6

WOW. first off I know how you feel. But there is one thing you need to always remember you have children. they mean more to you than anything!!! DUMP HER> you don't want your kids seeing this. her boyfriend and friends nearly raped you nearly destroyed your life for good. if you reported that he could be in trouble. You want to fix her because she is a friend a true friend doesn't nearly destroy your life and your kids life!!!! she knows the truth and it hurts her. But you told her how you felt if she is true if not you now where to stand. I think you know where that is. alone without her. Maybe tell her you can't ahve anything to do with her because of her lifestyle. and you don't want your kids anywhere around that. If she has family let them know. I don't know how old you guys are so I am just throwing ideas out there. BE CAREFUL the wrong person could hurt you when it comes to your kids. Not trying to scare you but stating the truth. GOOD LUCK HUN!!!!!

Answer 7

I know you want to help her but let her fall. She isn't going to stop messing with him until something bad happens. Sometimes you have to let people make mistakes on their own! When she falls she'll come to you!

Answer 8

OK, this person sounds like she doesn't want help. you may have good intentions, but if she doesn't want help you are only going to tax your already strained relationship further. take a break for a while, or call it quits since she called a **** when your pregnant with your husband's child

Answer 9

WAS seems to be the key word here............ ANYONE who can watch their friend almost get raped by someone and not care is someone you dont wanna be ANYWHERE near! Just dont talk to her, ignore her and get on with your life (which seems to be pretty good). She probs will hit rock bottom at some point and want you back and then you'll have to think about weather you want that stress but for now pretend she doesn exist.