I really need help, I at the end!!. i need someone to listen please...

Question

So im 16 years old, and i recently split frommy long term boyfriend of a year and a half, we where so close, best friends and nothing could come between us, I had been really il over the last year or so with a eating disorder and i sturggled to cope with it, but my ex stuck by me through it no matter what he was great to me coudnt ask for more. towards the end of may we was going through a rough patch and he decied to leave me he told me hehad fallen out of love with me, which is fair enough even though i am feeling so much pain right now, and i miss him beyond belief and cant do anything or imagen him having anyone else in his life, I feel hearbroken beyond belief. Two weeks after we split up i found out i was pregnant with him, So i decided to tell him alot went on between us he told me he wasnt going to be there if i have it, as he didnt want it and if i had an abortion he would support me. i then had to tell his parents they took it ok at the first when i told they i possible was going to have an abortion, When i told them i was keeping it everything changed and they where mad and stopped all contact, lately things have gone so wrong i feel like killing myself to be honest i feel alful inside, i had a misscarriage a week ago and am struggling to cope, I text my ex and told him and he never answered me, We only live 2 mins around the corner and he is best mates with my brother ( Who isnt being very loyal ) So i see my ex all the time. Plus now i have had a huge arguement with my dad ( Who is sperated from my mum ) Because he thinks i lied about everything because i never wanted him to come to the docs with me because i was scared of letting him come with me because i was ashamed, And everyone in that house thinks im lieing, im at then end all my friends have abandonded me and i dont now what to do.

Answer 1

you should call kids help phone or go to a psychologist/therapist...you need to talk about your feelings with a professional...

your life is more important than any guy...I had my heart broken at your age and at the time was very depressed and never thought I'd love again...but today I'm married to a real man and have never been happier...I know it's hard to see it now but it will get better...

Answer 2

i don't want to come off being mean or anything but i think u should see a counselor and maybe get some pills. you sound depressed. an abortion is a very hard thing to deal with and I'm afraid u will never forget about it. i have a friend who had an abortion years ago and to this day she still thinks what could of been and things like that. you need to talk to a counselor about these things that are happening. do u still have contact with ur mom. how close or u two, maybe u can talk to her. or talk to an old best friend. something like that can rekindle a friend ship. that way you will have a friend to support you. i hope u seek some help and i hope you survive this chapter of your life. good luck

Answer 3

2 words: **** Him.. he didn't wanna be there even though its his baby.. just forget bout him forget bout everything that happened believe me u didnt want that baby..or these friends. just lsn. concentrate on ur education and nothing else forgett that anything ever happened..find someone who can really help u through it..if there's no one i'm here.! XD..

Answer 4

I don't even have to read this whole thing to figure out, you were too young to get into such a serious relationship to begin with, sorry.  Too much drama for someone so young.  Abortion is something you have to live with, but at your age a baby is something you have to live with too, don't bring a child into your world of drama, there is a time and place for everything.  It is hard to raise a child without his father, you will be the one who has to care for this baby, and feed the baby and get up in the middle of the night with a baby, and you have to stay home instead of go out with your friends, cause you can't find a sitter, everyone that says are your friends (oh i will help you, I can babysit) aren't really they will never be around when you need them, don't miss out on the fun you can have in your life because of being confused and not knowing what to do.  God makes everything happen for a reason, Im sorry for your lose but every side has a bright side.   Forget about this jerk, imagine if you did have a baby with him??????  Life might not be as you want it to be.

Answer 5

Oh, Sweetie please find a counselor you can talk to at school.  It does not sound like your family is ready to talk.  Anyone and I mean Adult or Teenager would be as sad and depressed as you are right now.  It is normal.  You have had a very rough and trying time.  This will make you a stronger person.  As for your boyfriend and his parents who needs him or them.  He sounds horrible, he should never have treated you that way.  Stand up for yourself.  Stay in school.  Make something of yourself forget about him.  Trust me there are a lot of fish in the sea.  You are only 16 and life is what you make of it.  You can make it better or you can make it stink.  I will pray for you.  Good Luck.

Answer 6

TTC is right, you need to talk to someone, go to a psychologist.

What you're going through really sounds horrible ... abandoned by your friends, misunderstood by your dad and then you ex-boyfriend. You need to find a way to find yourself, who you are and be able to be proud of yourself again, and see the worth in yourself. I think a psychologist could best help you with that. Having a mischarriage is not a small thing, it needs attention and you already were having problems before with your eating disorder.  

Never forget ... after rain comes sunshine. As bad and sad as things may seem right now ... there'll be a time when all will be different and when you look back you'll be proud that you managed to go through it and live your life. Now you're in your depressed emotions, but with some distance, in some years maybe, you will look at it from a totally different perspective. Don't believe that everything your emotions are telling you right now is "plain truth". It is not. Things change and then you will no longer feel that way or see yourself that way. Just be strong. It's really very hard what you are going through but you can do it. Just be strong and wait for the rain to stop. And go and look for help. Find yourself a good psychologist that can support you in becoming a strong woman who manages to live her live well and be happy.

I wish you all the best! Don't hang the head. I'll pray for you, too.

Answer 7

Ok, I was a 16 year old girl only a little while ago. I had what I thought was my first love. I thought I knew everything and that my mother and other people just wanted to break us up. I was wrong. What we look at as love at 16 is just a primitive emotion that we feel because of hormones. We are having s*x, having a boyfriend, living this life where we are finally adults (even though a 16 year old needs much more guidance). The media and TV make this seem so glamorous.

Your ex, is just a teen boy. Honestly, the only thing he can understand right now is getting as much poon as possible from different girls. He is not a jerk, just a kid. I am sorry about your miscarriage. At least you are not a single mother who has to be on welfare and have a babydaddy who doesn't help or even want to see his kid.

Also, my best friend used to lie about being pregnant by my brother throughout their whole relstionship. She felt this would keep him around or always have a tie between them. She was wrong, we were teens and he banged as many girls as possible.

As far as your brother goes, he isn't being disloyal. He is just minding his business. If he got mad at your ex everytime you did. it would be a waste of time because 9 times out of 10 you will make up with the guy and be upset at your brother for holding a grudge aginst the your boyfriend. He is just staying in his place. He probably doesn't want you to get back with this guy, bc if they hang out all the time he knows what they are up to as far as with other girls and such.

I have been there before. You should delete his number from your phone. You should go to the mall, park, skating rink. Do something to spend time with other people. You are young and what you don't realize is there are tons of guys who would more likely die to be with you honey. Keep your s*x to yourself. Save it for someone important. If you don't you will end up with a long list of guys who have had you.

Im praying for you.

Answer 8

Sweetheart dont you dare go giving up.Yes you had some blows some big ones but you can rise above this and become stronger then before. Lets start with your ex, let him go dear. I know how much it hurts I have been there in the exact spot you are in right now. I adored him.Got pregnant lost the baby he left me. I was destroyed I felt like my life was over. Guess what I survived. When he dumped me I cryed for a while but then I realized that I could not force anyone to be with me and it just meant that he was not the one for me. As hard as it was I went on with my life, I made new friends, I had to since he was my world. I even met someone and started dating. Once he noticed that I didnt care then he went crazy. He wanted me back. He became a stalker he even attempted to commit suicide and I had to stop him. The tables were turned and this time I didnt want him back because I really had moved on with my life. I was sad because I hated hurting him but I fell out of love with him. Now my dear Im not saying that he will do the same thing. I want you to go on with your life trust me that is the best revenge that you can ever do to someone.You will really find out if he is the one for you or not. By doing this you can learn that life does not end without him. As for your family they are probably upset because you have put so much focus on this boy and they just want you to go  on with your life. Ive said this before and I will say it again parents are not perfect we make mistakes too, but that does not mean we dont love our children. Tell your Dad how you feel, nicely. Tell him how hurt you felt and that if you let him down in anyway that you are sorry then tell him that you would not lie to him. They think right now that all you care about is this boy so you cant blame them. When we see our children hurt we get hurt and we react sometimes in a way we shouldnt. If you show your Dad that you are more important to yourself then this boy is then he will proud of you.He loves you my dear so does your brother. You are a strong girl you got through an eating disorder my dear you can get through this.If you need someone to talk to email me I will listen and do my best to help. God bless you. By the way I have had other relationships where I was dumped and  crushed but I got through it everytime and it only made me stronger and prepared me for my real true love. Now I have been with my husband over 12 years.  

Answer 9

i feel so bad for you...it sounds like he is a bit of a jerk if he wasnt going to suppert you if you kept the baby which is unfair!!it was his fault as much as yours that you fell pregnant..just try to get through it as best you can it hurts now but trust me you will get over it...even if it takes ages if your friends have abandoned you then they cant be very good friends..try to talk to a councillor or your mum or something...good luck i hope you are okay..

Answer 10

First of all, I want to say that I think that it was very brave and unselfish of you to decide to keep it, and I'm sure that you would have made a wonderful mum. I am sure that you still WILL be a wonderful mum in the future!

Life is not over, yes, you were abandoned by a self-centered jerk, but there ARE good guys out there!

And perhaps also he might have just been scared, not that it makes him pressuring you ok, but it does explain it.

You also have to look at it from his point of view, although I'm sure that you 're not lying, you can see how he would think that you are using the excuse of being pregnant to get him to stay with you. All in all, it's a very painful situation.  :-(

The only thing that I can suggest is to cry it out, scream into your pillow, do whatever it takes to get him out of your system, it might take years, but it will happen...

Once that's done, don't sleep with another boy just to boost your confidence. If you want a stable relationship, don't sleep with him until you are sure that he is committed to you for life, for better or worse (some people just say marriage... but all marriage is is a commitment. You can be committed without a ring).

Maybe it's not the same for guys, but I know with me, and other girls, it seems that the more physical that you get with a guy, the harder the breakup is when/if it happens. Something similar happened to me...

I was devastated, couldn't quit crying, never got over the guy. He eventually called me out of the blue 2 years later a broken, grown up, and humbled man. We spoke for several months (as he had joined the military and was a LONG ways away) and got engaged in a parking garage at the airport where I picked him up, and were married 1 month later :-)

The crazy thing is that if we had never erm... "gotten physical" in the first place, we likely wouldn't have broken up over a silly misunderstanding over everything, and things would be very different.

At any rate, hang in there, keep your chin up, and be true to yourself and don't ever let another man pressure you to do ANYTHING that you're not ready to, or don't want to do.

I hope your story has a happy ending! :-)

Answer 11

My dear  Anya...

You "poor" child...I really feel WITH you !! I have lots of empathy for young ladies like you & wish to assist you in these troubled days...First of all : "One does NOT fall "in -or- out" of love, just as well as "nerves don't "break down"....That's just a "cheap" way for him to "eliminate" you, which is sad...BUT: honey, be asured...there is a "Law of the Universe", that proclaims :

"What goes around, comes around...

everything moves in cycles.

Many things I found...I could not bind

and many things I bound...

I could not free...

And many things I freed....

RETURNED TO ME !"

So take these wise words as a small consolation for you, honey ! Just remember...in due time...things will turn for the better for you. I am sure of it!!! All the other nice people "above" gave you good advice & great suggestions (about the "paperwork" due to your miscarriage,etc.) So...all what's left for me to suggest is : Do NOT worry soooo much, honey, because "the Universe" will be "on your side" & in due time....you'll look back in retrospect & "laugh about" all that's troubling your mind at present !! Meanwhile...I'll do a "special prayer" into the Universe so you'll feel better !!!

Wishing you all the best for the future ! Greetings from Germany with all my love & care....Annette***

Answer 12

if you had a miscarriage there would be paperwork from the hospital. show them that. having a miscarriage at that early of a stage isn't your fault. had nothing to do with nutrition or stress either. it may be time to find new friends and start over from scratch. leave the house when he's over. find a new friend to spend time with. don't get into any kind of boyfriend relationship yet either, it's too early. let yourself have time to heal and enjoy who you are. when you are able to love yourself, others will follow and love you too