I really need some mature Christians to answer this question about grace?

Question

I had a relationship with a great guy and we seemed perfect for each other in every way. Where I needed a complement, he gave it and vice versa. However, we sinned and had premarital s*x. I truly believe that our problems resulted from it. He does not feel as strongly about that as I do, but I really know this to be the case. He tells me he still wants me, and I want to be with him, too, but as things are now, the timing is no longer optimal. Do you think we missed our moment, or will we find each other again?

(P.S. Yes, I know the difference between complEment with an 'e' and complIment with an 'i'. =) Thanks for answering!)

Answer 1

okay...well u kno we all make our mistakes.  UNfourtantly we cant go back and do redos. But thank god we have a god who forgives...i believe that if you sin, then ask forgiveness god totally forgives..he dosent hold it against you. And u dont need to look in the past either..you kno wat u did was wrong, change it and dont do it again. Many many girls have done this, as girls we feel pressured, like they wont stick around if we wont go as far as they want. I think if u truly love this guy, then you will make it through with him.  Dont rush ur relationships. GOod luck = - )

Answer 2

I guess I am confused.  Why would you want a Christians opinion about timing in a relationship?  What does that have to do with grace?

I can appreciate the feelings you have for this guy, and the fact that you care for each other.  But what is your question?

All I can discern is that it's all about you, what you want, whether you can get what you want when the "timing is optimal".  Does that make God a "genie" so that if you follow the rules, God is obliged to give you what you want?  I was not aware that it worked that way.

I don't see where there is any part of God in this, except that you believe that there is a standard of conduct that you violated.  Do you see anything in your great guy that indicates he holds to the same standard you do?  If not, then maybe it is grace to have him out of your life.  You would not be focused on the same issues and standards.

But what about you.  You say that you sinned...but don't indicate that you have done anything about it.  As in "if we confess our sins...".  You seem to be saying that you really would like to do it all again, if the timing was just optimal.

I do hear something really sweet in your question...that you want to be loved, that you want to do what is right, that you want somebody to love.  That's great.  But you might try Singles and Dating because there is no dimension of R&S there.

Answer 3

The Bible says that there is none good but God, regarding your nickname.

Answer 4

Quit "s******g around" and get married.

Let marriage be honored among all

and the marriage bed be kept undefiled.

Let your life be free from love of money

but be content with what you have,

for he has said, I will never forsake you or abandon you.

Thus we may say with confidence:

The Lord is my helper,

and I will not be afraid.

Answer 5

might it be your hang ups on bronze age Biblical sexual etiquette that might be the problem?  

Answer 6

It sounds like to me that maybe because of your feeling guilty of premarital s*x, that you subconsciously pushed your boyfriend away. When we feel we did something terribly wrong, we tend to feel guilty and try to get away from the temptations so it won't happen again. Remember, there is such a thing as forgiveness. Also, do you feel somewhat guilty that he may have "used" you? I will admit, I am a sinner, and always have been one, but I am so glad that we have the chance to repent of our sins and be forgiven. All is not lost.

Answer 7

1Cr 7:2 Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.