I really really miss my husband.?

Question

My husband got ten years in prison. He has been gone for five years now and I have been handling the situation pretty good. But I miss him more and more each day. He only has five years(or maybe less,depending on gain time) left. We have a son together and its tough for him too. What can we do to ease the pain until he comes home?

Answer 1

only thing you can do is wait, visit and write himas much as possible

Answer 2

Just keep visiting and keep hope alive. Keep it together for the children and keep yourself strong. I'm a military wife and 10 years man that would be taking things to a whole other level. Well keep the faith I'm sure if you made it this far you can make it the rest. Just keep in contact and keep the lines of communication open.  

Answer 3

Well, unlike what others say about nothing else to do but wait, there is much you can do. Once he comes out you´ll have to readjust to one another and have so much to talk about. List all the things you want to do with him, as his wife and as a family. Plan places to visit and trips. Remember, 10 years is a long time and all the things you´ve missed it´s a lot. But it can all be recovered if you plan for it. It doesn´t have to get expensive, but you can change your whole view of life in this years left to share it with him and your son.

Also talk to your son about his dad. You could ask your husband to write stories to your son and you read them at night together. Make your son write to his dad too, besides the visits. Make them connect with one another as much as you can. Once he´s out all these letters and stories will be shared and remembered. It´s a link you´ll create from your husband to your son that they´ll always appreciate and remember.

And you could write him too. Just because he sees you doesn´t mean he wouldn´t want to read about you every night. Make this five years worthwile as much as you can. And pray to God to give you strength.

Answer 4

How often do you go to visit him?

Why is he in jail?  If it is for violence, robbery, drugs, are you sure this is a good example for your son?  

The rate of reoccurrence for some crimes is very high.  Maybe you should check that out, too.  

Since you are the sole supporter of your son, certainly you are tired, working, making sure your son gets to school, does his homework, gets to his sports.  Do you live near your parents.  Your son needs a good role model, like your dad but not a new boyfriend... Boys Club or Big Brothers is really good.  Maybe your dad could take your son fishing, to a sports game like baseball or football, camping, your son needs to be involved in activities.  The only reason this is tough on him is because you are complaining and passing on your unhappiness to him. Try not to do that, because he is really too young to understand.  

Keep your son happily involved in activities that kids his age are involved in.  

Answer 5

I had this happen to me and it is very hard. Visit and see him as often as you can. You son is in need of a father and it is hard to have a father son relationship with bars in the way. Your son will need lots of contact and support. You need support as well, the time will go and find any help in your community.

Answer 6

Visit him often

I understand you and when i was reading this, my heart bled

good luck

and god bless

Answer 7

Dear Mrs. Zigs, The best thing you can do now is to stay in communications with your husband as much as you can.  Tell him how much you really miss him and keep all your correspondence upbeat, it will help him as much as it will help you.  Make a lot of plans for when he gets out and that will help make the time pass fast.  This is all similar to me when I was in the military and it works.  Also if you are allowed, send him a lot of photos.  Much luck to you.  

Answer 8

As I read your comment  about your husband I instantly connected to you. Not because my husband was in jail but I have been threw sooo many legal issues with my 19 yr.old son, since he was 13.When it has to do with a loved one it really does not matter what they did as long as they learned from it and usually we the family suffer more than they do because they have no choice but to adapt to circumstances.If you  truly love ur husband and feel  he is worth waiting for then go for it.Ignore any negative comments or any comments from anyone,when it comes down to it he is YOUR HUSBAND THE FATHER OF YOUR KID AND ALL HE NEEDS TO KNOW IS THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HIM!!! I ADMIRE U GOD BLESS U

Answer 9

Turn to your family, friends, and faith. I don't know if there are any support groups out there, but it's worth checking it out. I know that this is a very difficult situation, but at least you have the hope of seeing him again and having your son with you. I don't have that...I lost my son eight year's ago and sadly can't say that in "five" year's or sooner, I will see him again. Be strong, take care.

Answer 10

just keep praying for him, and praying that you and your son have the strenght to get through this hard time.

Answer 11

Pray for him and your family , God is the only one that can give you strength.  

Answer 12

Oh my God I'm so sorry. I actually gotta give you props for already dealing with 5 years. It must be so hard. Well whenever you and your son have the chance go visit your husband. Your son needs you now more than ever, so hang out with him, go out to the stores, to get something to eat. Write to your husband everyday, I would definitely do that. But another are you sure that after your husband gets out, things will be back to normal? I'm assuming that he'll be on probation are you sure that he will be okay? Cause if he's going to be one of those guys that gets out of prison then goes back in and out, then you might as well get a divorce cause that will be harder on your son later on. Only you know if for sure things will be okay after he gets out. If so, like I said write letters to him :) I think that would cheer him up as well. Good luck.

Answer 13

It will go fast. I hope that you can visit or communicate.

Answer 14

Go to  school, get another degree

Answer 15

Write it down, visit when you can. There isn't a whole lot more you can do.

Answer 16

I am sorry you and your family are going through this.  It must be very hard for you.  He is blessed to have you waiting for him and so devoted to him.

Concentrate your child and do fun things together.  Also, if you can get involved in your church and ministry.  Perhaps you could help organize a prison ministry in your church.  Either way, I find that when I become involved in helping others, it eases my pain and makes me feel like life is good again.

I know what it is like to miss someone.  Both of my parents have passed away in the past five years and I miss them so very much.  I try to find ways to minister to others and help those who are grieving.  It really does help.  I wish you the very best.

Answer 17

First of all, kudos for standing by your man. It takes one tough woman to wait for so long! I encourage you to write him, have your kiddo write to him, and keep a journal. Write down how you feel everyday. This will help you now to vent some of those feelings, and it will be something you can look back on when all of this is over. Be strong and best of luck.

Answer 18

Understand your feelings.  You must devote more and more time to your son concentrate on him so future becomes good.  You have sacrificed love, s*x and companion life for five years and five years remain which require great patience otherwise it will cross boundaries as these are natural needs of life. Once these break, they will cross boundaries and no one can then control them. One has to compromise with circumstances. Once your desires of love, s*x and companionship conquor you, you will cross boundaries.  

Answer 19

You can go visit him and pray a lot. He talk a lot to him about his dad and tell him that his dad loves him so much. I know it's hard for you. My husband is not in prison but I haven't seen him in like over 3 months and I miss him so much and plus I'm 4 months pregnant and I wish that my husband were here with me. What I do so that I don't get depressed all the time is go out with my mom and I love being with my family and I pray a lot and read the bible. Have faith and I know that the days won't go by fast but do it for yourself and for your son. Take him out, have fun with him and just talk to him about his dad. You should go visit your husband and ask him if he would like for you to take his son to visit him and if not just talk good things about your husband to your son.

Answer 20

Well why is he in prison...if he has 5 years..hm

Maybe you guys should go places to take your mind off things until he gets back. Or I'm sure they have visitation hours?

Answer 21

Visit him as often as you can, write letters to him everyday, make video messages for him, send him small tokens of love (little meaningless gifts- it's the thought that counts).

Answer 22

I hope your husband puts the family first before he commits a crime.

Answer 23

well thats hard i understand dont be sad and just live ur life

Answer 24

Wow I'm shocked at what some people had to say. Leave him? They obviously don't understand what For Better or For Worse means.

you can be put in prison for a lot of things. Seriously... what if the shoe was on the other foot.

Anyway... I don't really know what to tell you other than what everyone else has been saying.

Try and visit as much a you can. Also take lots of pictures of you and the kid and send them to him if he's allowed. Make plans for when he comes home... save money to take a loooong vacation when he gets out... or move to a new place so theres no old(bad) memories. Ask him what he wants to do when he gets out.. look to when he's out.. maybe do something with the 5 years? College?  

Answer 25

Make plans for what you are going to do when he comes home.  Gives you something to look forward to and plan on!  Best of luck!  Keep him out of trouble!

Answer 26

Mrs T , i was going to email you , but you dont allow it.

I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. It sucks. My fiance is in a federal facility in western PA.  3 years. Out in 2011. In for a "finance related charge" similar to martha stuart.(In a nutshell, he was framed by two other business men, from out of state, for a bad real estate deal!!) And get this, hes an attorney!! We have pedofiles and drunk drivers who kill people walking the streets and hes in for that. Makes me so angry. A wonderful father,, the whole bit. I am in Boston, so its tough to just up and visit, though i am going shortly for almost 3 weeks. He's under an appeal, waiting. I miss him so much its made me sick, physically and emotionally. I get through it with his calls, and letters, and i write to him EVERY SINGLE day. As though i am just talking to him  He is also writing a book, (on finance/credit) which should be on shelves this november, so he stays busy, and i'm doing most of the typing for the book as well.. It helps.  Listen, the time will go by fast and just remember what hes going through every day. Funny though, sometimes for me, i wish i were "in", cus to me, its , at times, even harder out here, when i see all the happy people, on holidays and in the summer, holding hands, etc,....and it makes me so depressed. So i do feel your pain, and if you ever wish to email, please do. Would be nice to have someone else who understands, good luck and you will get throguh it, WE will get through it.

Answer 27

Only thing you can do is go on visiting day, write letters.  

Answer 28

Oh please..Your husband should of thought about you, and your son before he committed the crime that gave him 10 years. He made a choice and now your family suffers.

Answer 29

write and visit as much as possible?...always think of the good times and never have any doubts.

Answer 30

Forget Eve.

He is your husband. You should visit him when you can. Keep him up with up to date happenings in your life so he can keep that outside connection going and have something he can still relate to.

Write to him often and whether in jail or not he is still your husband you chose to marry.

It is a difficult time but you can still find happiness with him.

Answer 31

Visit him more often if it's possible for you.