I really think my todeler is GIFTED... any advice?

Question

I know evereyonbe thinks their child is clever but i think my 2 year old is gifted. she is so different to others her age and even older. her speech is advanced, she reads books, knows colours, sings songs off the radio, has an excellent memory and is always investigating. she works out how to do things without any help which are way advanced for her age. she comes across as being difficult coz she is always climing up things and doing things other kids cant do and lots of mums comment on this, saying they dont know how i cope but she is a good girl, always happy to share with other kids, shes just very curious and it annoys me when these other mums make comments. I know shes different and people always mention it, which makes me paranoid. has anyone got any suggestions as what i can do, can i get her assessed is there anything special i can do. who can help me out and im sick of people thinking shes a naughty kid and i cant control her, coz shes so inquizitive. PLEASE HELP! thanks

Answer 1

My advice would be to stimulate her, with materials that are at her level.  Even if you are buying a 24 pc. pre-k jigsaw puzzle.  Try to promote well-roundedness at the same time.  Most gifted kids have areas of weakness, maybe attention is hers.  I would refrain from having her tested because tests are just not very accurate in someone before 6.  If she does have some delays with social skills, I would have her screened by a neurologist.  Some of what you describe could be asperger's (people mention she is so different, she reads, good memory, excels at language skills).  She also could be a sensory seeker, sensory integration doesn't occur for anyone till age 6.

Answer 2

If people are commenting on how you "cope" - then she is obviously acting out, which sounds like a discipline problem and not an issue with how smart she is. How smart she may or may not be is irrelevant if she doesn't listen to you and acts naughty. Smart kids can be naughty too! What she needs is some *consistent* discipline. Usually when a 2 year old is out of control, it's the parents fault. Focus on what you can do to keep her time structured and follow though on keeping her behavior in check, and less on how brilliant you think she is.

Answer 3

Christ almighty, please do NOT use the word "gifted". Brings to mind obnoxious parents who let their spoiled children do whatever they want just because some test told them that the child was "gifted".

Make sure to treat her like any other child, and NOT like she is of above average intelligence, even if it turns out that she is. If children are given the impression that they're somehow above other kids they can end up acting like it.

Best of luck to you and your little girl. :)

Answer 4

Don't do anything. She is just a baby still. Let her be a baby. Even if she is gifted you have plenty of time to deal with that. Wait until she goes to school and see how she does.

But until then leave her along and let her be a kid

Answer 5

I have no idea if your daughter is gifted or not, but honestly, like others have said, at this age it really doesn't matter.  Just keep doing what you are doing with her, expose her to new and different things, and don't bother about all that testing until school.  Enrol her in nursery school (although from your other post it sounds like you have already done that), and expose her to social situations.  Sounds like she is very busy, and maybe needs to learn some appropriate social control.  Nursery school would be a great thing for her.

You've got lots of time to worry about "gifted".  For now, let her be a toddler!  And teach her appropriate ways to channel her energy.  Nothing wrong at all with being active! As long as you can channel it.

Answer 6

The oldest of our 3 children has an extremely high IQ and I knew before she was 2 that she too was going to be labeled as gifted. It actually bothered me because I knew she was different, and I didn't know how her peers and society in general would accept her. I just encouraged her love of learning and when she went to Kindergarten, it was very obvious the differences between her and the other little ones. They tested her immediately and found her IQ was very high.Some children however with high IQs do not want to sit and learn anything because their brains are just moving way to fast. Thank goodness she was not like that. Today, she is a very well-adjusted, happy 10 year old and yes, she is still observed as different than others her age and she is very comfortable conversing with adults on a wide range of topics. But she has also learned to handle situations with her peers and deal with differences. She goes to a gifted class once a week and we provide many avenues for the extra knowledge she craves. She loves reading and for fun, she enjoys writing essays and reports. And we love her for her! My advise would be this: give her as many opportunities to learn as SHE wants, without pushing. Once she starts school, discuss your concerns with the teacher and see from there. Many children are what they call "high achievers" but do not have what you would label as gifted or an IQ over 130 (here in the US). But by providing tons of books, access to learning materials and just support her, she will succeed! Most of all, don't ever let her think she's different or better than the others, or even smarter. Just ignore those other moms too. They most likely are jealous. Good luck- there are a lot of books on the topic. Just go onto Amazon.com and search for gifted children books.

Answer 7

I think you should not get her tested just leave her to be kid and leave the test for school.But I do think you should calm down and stop giving attitude to everyone giving you and opinion.if you cant take the answers don't ask the question.

Answer 8

thats really cool and kudos to you for taking responsibility!  i would suggest finding somewhere in your state where you can get her screened and they will let you know what types of programs are available for her :)  if you are not sure who to call contact a regular, private or montessori school and they can get you a number!

Answer 9

I would strongly recommend you don't have your child tested until and unless there's a need to make sure her needs are being met at school.  Regardless of how she'd come out on the test, you just need to keep stimulating her, and the test results aren't going to change that but may result in either disappointment or pressure, neither of which are helpful.  

Definitely do stimulate her ... talk to her a lot, read to her a lot, take her places, provide varied experiences, etc.  You know your own child best and know what she's ready for, so you'll be best able to figure that out.  Keep the pressure low but the stimulation high, and always make time to answer her questions.

Finally, though, don't use giftedness as an excuse for behavior issues.  Inquisitiveness is great (and gifted or not, 2 year olds can be expected to act like 2 year olds ... sometimes people expect academically gifted kids to be gifted socially or behaviorally, but it doesn't work that way).  But doing things that are dangerous or destructive should have the same consequences regardless of whether they happened because your child is inquisitive.  So nurture her curiosity but also make sure that you're not afraid to be the mom and tell her that no matter how much she wants to figure out how the stove works, she's not allowed to climb on top of it.....

edit -- wow.  i don't read the answers as trying to insult you; mine wasn't, anyway.  maybe it's a problem with the medium.  i didn't mean to say your child *is* being destructive ... i just meant that it's worth considering what's making other people make "naughty" comments and make sure that if she does do something destructive or dangerous that you don't excuse it away because she might be gifted.  and of course one would expect you're stimulating her already ... otherwise she wouldn't be thriving.  but since you're asking what to do with a gifted kid, my advice is just to continue stimulating her rather than having her labeled as "gifted" (or not).  The label itself isn't going to make any difference in what she needs to learn and experience.

Answer 10

What do you need help with? Just keep giving her things to do and keep her mind active! You may have a child that skips grades and gets high honors! Be proud of what you have and give yourself a pat on the back for being such a good mom! Who cares what other mom's say? Just ignore it!

Good luck and be proud!

Answer 11

dont go far yet . i mean every child sing songs and know colors . so that dosent nescerially means she gifted i mean if she in pre k and get skiped to the secong then maybe but now just wait and see maybe she just real smart .my cousn the same way so i wouldnt get my hopes up to high

Answer 12

Okay, you are not by any means a terrible parent.  ITS NORMAL.  my daughter is the same way.  be proud that you daughter is like that.  She'll be the one that every other kid wants to be.

Answer 13

In all honesty, she sounds just like my son was at her age. He's 5 now and still very smart, way ahead of his peers academically. He's also on the autism spectrum. (Not saying your daughter is too but it explains my son's "different" behavior & difficulty with discipline.) Be careful how you label her, you don't want to have a set standard in your mind for her to meet. Even if she's an absolute genius try not to think of her that way because eventually it will (unintentionally) put pressure on her and/or disappoint you if she doesn't measure up in the long run. All you can really do is try to keep her stimulated & busy. Stay consistent with discipline and what the rules are even if she's got you exhausted because I'm sure she does! Mention her behavior to her pediatrician at the next visit and maybe they can give you some more tips/ideas or lead you to someone who can. In the meantime try not to let what other people are thinking bother you. I know it's hard but you just have to ignore it. I had my son at 19 and I know what it feels like to have people looking down on you like you're clueless. (In reality I had worked in childcare for almost 4 years when I had my son and had parents in their forties coming to me for advice at work lol) Being a young mom does NOT make you less capable & don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Good luck & hang in there! Those toddler years are tough! ;)