I really want to adopt?

Question

iam 19 and i was wondering if there was any place or state that would allow me to adopt at my age without being married but iam engaged and getting married please someone help me...or if anyone wants to give there baby up for adoption let me know and maybe i can adopt her i really want to be a mother

Answer 1

It's great that you want to adopt.

However, your first step is going to be contacting an attorney or adoption agency so they can begin the homestudy process.  In every state within the US, potential adoptive parents must be approved by the state in order to adopt.

If you started the process at this point, you would be adopting as a single parent since you are not married.  Depending on when you are getting married, if you do not have a child yet, you will most likely have to have the homestudy updated because there has been a lifestyle change.

Homestudies in my state cost between $800 and $1,200.

Also, check out http://www.adoption.com for lots of great information about adopting.

Good luck!

Answer 2

because you mentioned that you are 19 years of age I would suggest that you consult a lawyer first ...  email me for more infos about this

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Answer 3

I just read your question AND The first response you received.

I was just 12 days away from my 17Th birthday when I had my first daughter, I admit that I was young and that it was not a planned pregnancy, but I was ready.

I am now 22 and have a second child. a five year old and a 6 month old. I love my girls more than anything and I know of 30 year olds who do not care for their children what so ever!

So I am disagreeing with the fact that 19 year olds are not ready for children!

the next question I faced from people when I found out I was pregnant at 16 was how will you support your baby your so young, well I am now a successful pre-school teacher! I like kids probably more than adults.

I actually plan to adopt when my youngest is around about 10 years old. Children are so precious and need loving caring parents I believe that is me, and I honestly think that if you have that in you....unconditional love and a means to support your children whether they are your own or adopted then age certainly isn't a problem!

Answer 4

Do not solicit for a baby on the internet!  It encourages criminals, pedophiles, scammers, and takes advantage of vulnerable birthmothers and adoptive parents.

And why would someone want to place their baby with an immature, unmarried young woman about to start a new relationship?  You need to be stable, mature, and in a stable marriage (or completely single) to adopt.

If you love children, think about volunteering at a local homeless shelter.  Or a children's hospital.  Or be a Big Sister - they need volunteers.  Take your good feelings and put them where they will count the most!

Sorry -- but at age 19, you are immature.  It is a fact of life.  I know that it is hurting you to not have kids as you say -- so start preparing for a baby now.  By working on a stable marriage, and a stable, productive, active life!  And save for an adoption!  Then in 2-3 years, when you have the money saved, the relationship is more stable, and you are more mature -- apply to adopt!!

Answer 5

I know that you are 19 and it sounds like you and your spouse-to-be are ready, but I think the first step you might need to do, is get married first.  

Because of your age, they might discriminate.  They might feel that you are still of a young age, and tell you to come back.  I am not sure if there is any sort of age limit that they put on these.  

The other thing could be is finding an adoption that is done privately.  It might cost a bit more in the long run...

Good luck to you and I am sorry that you cannot have children.  But if you keep doing research and find out a bit more of the rules and regulations for adoption in your area, you might be surprised.  

Have you thought of in-vitro....usually multiple births is the outcome of that.  

Congrats on your future wedding and Good Luck on the adoption.

Answer 6

try  adopt.org or 1-888-adopt or 1-800- adopion

Answer 7

I was also diagnosed as infertile very young, and it was 14 years before we adopted our gorgeous son after having failed IVFs. I am very glad it happened that way as I am a much better parent now, then I would have been in my early twenties. I am more relaxed, more patient, and more grounded. We are also in a better financial position, better lifestyle overall (close to family, great community) and our son doesn't have to be in daycare....I work from home and DH was able to semi-retire in his thirties.

What I am saying is you are only 19. You have plenty of time and really shouldn't be considering parenthood from this place of desperate reaction to your infertility. Believe me I have been there. Get married and get settled. Have some fun with your new husband. Travel. In 5-7 years you can research adoption or fertility treatment or wherever your heart leads you. Join an infertility support group and grieve. Try www.resolve.org

You are not ready to begin looking for a baby to adopt anyway; no homestudy, nor knowledge of your state laws.

Answer 8

I don't know what state you live in but I do know that most states and agencies want you to at least be 21-25. I am very angry that people assume that because your 19 you are immature. Some people can be more of a adult at 19 then some can at 34. I understand about you wanting to be a mother. When I was 15 I was diagnosed with possible infertily (genetic infertility weird huh) it's a burden. It's hard, espically when everywhere you go you see mothers (young mothers) with their children and it seems to be a constant reminder of what you can't do, but they have done so easily. Or when their are a million teenage girls (some but not all) who can't take care of their children and leave them in dumpsters or abort them. My husband and I have been married for two years we are both 19 and people still treat us like we have no idea about marriage or life. We have both always wanted children. If you are feeling down one day feel free to email me. Good luck.

Answer 9

I don't know exactly but if you go through a county agency, I think you have to be 21 at least.  It may vary from county to county.  You might look into your local county for foster to adopt.  You can see what it is like before actually adopting.  You're not bound to adopt.  With foster to adopt, you are helping a child and for yourself, really seeing if being a 24 hour parent is what you want.  We just adopted a child through our local county.  It was an incredible experience.  He was 7 weeks old when we received him.  We did a foster to adopt only because we wanted an infant.  We have our own children, we just wanted to adopt a baby to add to our family.  The process is intense and indepth.  Lot's of training classes and first aid type classes as well.  Be prepared.  With county foster to adopt, you get subsidies, wic and medicare/medicaid(I always get confused).  That does stop once you decide to adopt.  It's an awesome experience and our little boy is turning 1 this week.  Good luck.  By the way, when you foster to adopt or even adopt through your local county, there is NO charge other than the court cost which ran us approx. $135 which we will receive back to us soon.  You use your subsidy for clothing and diapers.  WIC pays for all of the formulas, juices and cereals.  Seriously, we basically had no out of pocket expenses other than his funiture, other necessities, more clothing, etc.  You cannot lose.

Answer 10

i wanna congratulate u. and contrary to that one answer ur not putting up an ad for a kid. but the age that a person can adopt most likely is at least 21 but may vary. and i wish to simpathize on u not being able to have kids. if ur able and i dont know have u concidered a serrogate mother. ur egg and his sperm and some other gal carries the child till its born. even if u cant do that and u find out u can adopt. may i make a suggestion. when the child is old enough which would be up to u and ur soon to be husband(congrats there also) do not hide the fact of the child being adopted. because no matter how good ur intentions are. the child does have blood family out there and leave the adoption open.  meaning that the child has the freedom to contact his real family and they can visit him/her with ur permission.

the only draw back is no matter what the reason the child was put up for adoption. blood parents always have pull.

Answer 11

You should consider fostering.  It is one of the easier ways to adopt and their are plenty of children out there that need a home.

Answer 12

I'm sorry, I really don't know anything about adopting, but I wanted to tell you that it's great that you want to adopt. So many people just want their own baby and don't even concider adoption. Good luck with everything!