I really want to homeschool. Should I be concerned about isolation or lack of friendships?

Question

This is my 4th child. I have three older children that attend public school. They do not get the indivial help that they need.

My concerns are they way kids make fun or bully each other.

I want to protect him from unnesserary ridcule and focus on acdemics.

Answer 1

Do you intend to move to a deserted island where they will never come in contact with others?  If not, they will definitely socialize!  There are thousands of ways to get socialization.  Sports, classes, homeschool groups, volunteer work, taking them any place people gather.  Homeschooling allows for true socialization, not the institutionalized version they receive in public school.

Answer 2

It goes either way - sure you're protecting your child from all the torment of public school, but I feel that children should be exposed to other children for their own personal growth.  Social interraction is healthy.

I tutor a boy who is homeschooled and it seems as though he is isolated from the world. So naiive about life and people his age.  I wish he would go back to public school.

Answer 3

As long as your children are playing with neighborhood kids and perhaps engaged in a small social activity, church, sports, there should be no problem and they will be richer individuals for the experience.  YOu are planning to pull your other three out and homeschool them as well?  The goverment provides tax relief for your homeschooled children.

Answer 4

If the other children are enduring bullying and the like you may want to try to get them transferred to a different school but as far as homeschooling, if you get good material to teach with, I think often homeschooled students are better educated than those who do attend public schools.  There is a lot of good material online to use in homeschooling.  If the 4th child hasn't started preschool yet, for one example, they can get more from a site like starfall than they would get in school.  You may be able to get together with other homeschooling parents in your area and that would avoid the lack of friends or even the isolation if you get together to help each other with the homeschooling.  Good Luck to you!

Answer 5

He will have to go out in the real world eventually.  Extra tutoring can achieve the result you desire.

Answer 6

Honestly, my current group of friends only comes from high school and later.

I wasn't very social at all throughout elementary or even middle school, and I've heard research say the earlier children are introduced to others (like in preschool), the more aggressive they generally tend to be in the end.  I think if the child is shy enough - like I was, (s)he will isolate him/herself anyway and have very few friendships if any throughout the first few years.  That changed in late middle school and throughout high school for me, however.

As long as you keep your child confident and able to ask for things (s)he wants from others (s)he works with, as well as even strike up conversations with adults or other children, I wouldn't worry about it.

Might not understand the "hip lingo" of the other kids, though.  I didn't have half an idea of what people were talking about half the time, but much of what they said was inappropriate and I had no idea what it meant.

Perhaps you could try one year in public school and see how (s)he likes it and is doing, though, and then make a choice from there?

I'm not a child psychologist, unfortunately, but I hope this helps  a little, anyway!

Answer 7

homeschool can have a lot of advantages for self-disciplined kids who want to learn and be self directed ...they still need to socialize outside the home, and learn physical skills, like sports, music, etc. ... if you want to homeschool, be warned, and I'm not saying its a bad idea ... that a lot of educational institutions don't really accredit homeschool education and yur child will have to prove university/college readiness, my son was actually sent back to community college for upgrading before he could get into post secondary ed, and he was a good student--just didn't get all the pieces he needed from his homeschool package ...

Answer 8

both homeschooling and public school have there benefits. it really depends on the individual child. some have amazing experiences at school, some have horrible experiences. some of my cousins really benefited by being homeschooled, they thrived and got full scholarships to college, got on the dean's list in college as well. other cousins got very depressed and had other issues. if your child seems like they want home schooling, try it. it could be a wonderful experience. try to have your child in some group activities or something as well. that should keep your child social and let your child get the individual attention you desire. you both may decide it is right for your child to continue homeschooling, or maybe not, but at least you will know whether it is for you guys or not. Good Luck.

Answer 9

yup i am in homeschool and no i am going to high school because home school sucks so much

Answer 10

You don't need to be concerned--you need to be aware. There are likely a ton of activities where you live that you could participate in--community-based and homeschool group-based. Is isolation a problem in homeschooling? Only if you don't make a point to get out and participate in the above-mentioned things. Is lack of friendships a problem? Only if you don't make sure to be social. People had friendships long before public schools came into being. Your kids can be socially healthy without public school.

Answer 11

Check out these videos on homeschooling.  They're located below the blogs, just scroll down.

http://donnasgalaxy.spaces.live.com/

Answer 12

I tried homeschooling my daughter... and it's a LOT of work.  

Unless you're ready to basically have schooling take over YOUR life and your home and ALL your time, I would suggest thinking REALLY hard about this.

You don't say how old your child is, but if he/she is having issues at school, you might want to think about having the school intercede first before taking this step as a last resort.

Answer 13

Hey I'm 16 and I'm homeschooled.

I decided this in the middle of my freshman year but for me it wasn't hard. Like the whole part about the friends becuase I already made my friends and I could talk to them still and hang out whenever. Also my little bro who's 8 is homeschooled. We have learned so much in so little time. Cuz you don't feel embarrased about saying something worng or asking stupid questions so you catch on faster. But since he was younger he doesn't really have friends just a bunch of cousins. So my mom was thinking about putting in a class like dance, art, or music. Than he could make friends that way. I don't how old your child is so its hard to kinda help but I hope what I said gave you some ideas.

=D

Answer 14

No.Schools are zoos and indoctrination centers.The kid can socialize like everyone else in the evenings.

Answer 15

It's all in HOW you homeschool.  There are a lot of options out there for homeschool parents to make sure their kids get plenty of social interaction, such as homeschool groups.  

Also since your kids will move through their studies much more quickly one-on-one (I went to public school and about 3/4 of each hour was spent wasting time, waiting for people to be quiet enough to explain something, and explaining something again for the kids who weren't paying attention the first time) they will have more time for other activities like music, dance or art classes or club sports, all of which can give them social interaction and a place to develop friendships.  If you have a religious faith then church groups can be a good place to make friends in a positive and healthy environment as well.

I've known homeschool kids on both ends of the spectrum...it really depends on how much effort you as a parent put into making sure they spend plenty of time around other kids their age.  I have some really good friends who were homeschooled and are probably more socially well-adjusted than a lot of public school kids are because their parents recognized that teaching them how to interact with other people was also an important part of their education.

Answer 16

go for i know many would if they could.

Answer 17

I have 3 nephews that live in central Texas that are home-schooled.  They are all loving kids. The two oldest kids (now 18 and 22) are having a difficult time adjusting to the real world.  They don't understand the concept of competition, they have no sense of initiative or sense of urgency in anything. These are very bright kids ( aptitudes ) with a wide range of marketable interest. Unfortunately, they see no need for further education outside their immediate interests.

The youngest child is 12.  Very bright and loving kid who is functionally illiterate. He speaks well, is very enthusiastic, but can't read a restaurant menu.

As for the three kids now - they all avoided ridicule at school and are now having to be very selective with what they do and who they are with. Consequently and fortunately for them, they are heavily involved in the 7th Day Aventh Church.

Personally, I find it difficult to understand how parents could favor homeschooling over public or private schools on the basis of ridicule.  This is part of growing up, measuring up and making the grade in many forms.  This is the social focus of their developing lives.  

I grew up and you probably did to - in a school environment that had its share of bullies and kids that ridicule others.  We turned out fine!

Good luck in your decision!

Answer 18

it's going to have on affect on the other 3 kids which can land you in the same kettle of fish

isolation only occurs if you isolate, which means going to the park two or three times a week when there are small kids around.

It means letting older kids play outside, ride bikes, go to the mall.

Answer 19

Homeschooling is not like it used to be. There are local organizations that you can join for children to have activities together. Socialization is important and you can provide that in many ways. They can join choral or music groups. Volunteer at the library or other places where they will be around people. Sports is a good way for them to be around people their age or church functions if your a member. I say go for it!! They will have a better education if you are serious about it and structured.

Answer 20

You should not be worried about isolation.  There are many social outlets out there that are BETTER than school.  I mean, how is the real world like school??  Honestly, I can't remember a job I ever had where I had to ask permission to use the restroom.  (Although, at my first job, I almost peed my pants because I didn't know if I could just go....)  My kids are  homeschooled and very well adjusted.  They belong to scouts, we go to the Y, they have music and dance lessons.  They play with kids at the zoo and at parks.  Go for it and good luck!!!

Answer 21

I don't think home schooling is good because of the lack of friendships and everything else.  Maybe you can help your children more if the school isn't giving them individual attention.  They won't be able to get along in the "real world" later in life if they are kept from school.  Just my opinion here.

Answer 22

I myself was a homeschool student and graduate.  I started out in the public school system and when I was in the ninth grade the bullying  and lack of attention to my academic talent force my mom to pull me out and start homeschool.  I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me.  I was 14 at the time and focused on completing all of my End of Course testing so that I could graduate early.  I started in November and finished all of my North Carolina High School standards and I was able to graduate that May, still only 14.  I went our local community college by finding a loop hole and finished my associate degree at 16.  Now I am finishing up my bachelor degree.  

Here is my point, my principal and even the superintendent of the school system told my mother that I would suffer socially because of being homeschooled.  They also told her that I didn't have the mental capacity to adapt in an adult situation, such as high school(What high school is an adult situation?).  Orignally, we had wanted grade level placement but unfortunately in our school system academics has no value, football does.  I may have suffered socially in the fact that somehow most of the girls that I went to school with already have kids or have one on the way.  I guess I didn't get the correct interaction that high school offers.  But, being completely serious, I am really fortunate.  I believe myself to be a social butterfly and mature beyond my years.  I am a homeschool advocate all the way.  You have a lot of flexibility in your ciriculum.  You can choose what your child is exposed to.  For example, schools teaching s*x education, making children take home babies to deter premarital s*x, and now schools offering private birth control to students.  However, you must give your child a broad spectrum of subjects if you want them to suceed in post secondary education.

Here are a few websites you might find helpful:

www.homeschooling.about.com

www.homeschool.com

Here is a website with homeschool laws by state:

www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp

One more thing, just make sure you child is involved in other activities.  Make sure they have a hobby or a sport to play.  I was a gymnast and then later an instructor and I could see a difference in the maturity level of children who were homeschooled.  So go for it!  If it is something that you or your child isn't liking, you can put them in public or private school.

I hope this helps!

Answer 23

Do the kids have a name that is an easy target?  If so, I would say yes, but try to find out through the school what other parents are homeschooling that maybe you could be introduced by the school counselor or someone, in order to attempt to create the friendship.  Grade school was not fun at times because of teasing.

My sister married a man whose last name spelling looked as though it would rhyme with a girl's private part, so she had them legally change the spelling with just one letter and pronunciation completely, and her kids grew up quite popularly.  It would definitely have been the complete opposite had they used his original last name.

If not, even though there were times in school I hated going, I think it was still important to have gone through it (I am thinking of high school at this point).

Answer 24

There are many homeschoolers groups that are available for kids to interact with each other.  Homeschooled children have to be tested periodically to insure they are getting the right education requirements.

If you belong to a church, then get the kids involved in church activities.

Answer 25

I was homeschooled my entire life and I'm finishing my last semester in a private college right now.

I personally have no problems with socialization/lack of friendship and never have, but I've always been outgoing. Some people naturally aren't outgoing, and those will be the ones who will need extra help whether or not they are homeschooled.

There are many ways you can make up for "lack of socialization" if you are concerned about it: I played soccer for ten years, I took gymnastics lessons, and swam on a city swim team. The homeschool community in your area (and believe me, there is one) is also a fantastic resource. Playdates are common, as are "park days," when the local homeschoolers get together for a few hours at a park. The parents chat and the kids have a blast.

I definitely think your concerns are warranted- homeschooling made me love learning, and I was in a fantastic environment to do it.

This is not to say that some kids have serious socialization issues. I've met some homeschooled kids who do. HOWEVER, so long as you let your kids have fun with other kids in healthy environments (with team activities, play dates, neighborhood friends, etc), you shouldn't be concerned at all.

Good luck. :)

Answer 26

Ok, you have 4 children so your children will get interaction with other kids. Do your kids go to church, play with neighbor friends, do sports or any outside activities??? If so then you are fine and if not then there are many things you can do.... take them to a park so they can play with other kids, enroll them in some sort of sport or club, join a homeschool group in your area, and many other things.... I homeschool and I love it. My daughter was the one always getting picked on in school because she wouldn't stand up for each other; therefore, her self esteem was very low when we started homeschooling. Now, she will stand up for herself and realizes that other kids are just mean and if they try to bother her then she can ignore them and move on. She was also behind academically because she wasn't getting the one on one that she needed....within a month of pulling her out of public school she was back up where she belonged.

I say go for it and enjoy being a mom while you can because they grow up so very fast! My son just turned 13 and is already thinking of what he wants to do with his life! :P

Answer 27

There are healthcare facilities in your area.  You might contact them with your concerns.

Answer 28

Kids are going to be bullied no matter what they do or where they go; that's just part of life. I realize it's parental instinct to shelter them from the more negative aspects and experiences of life; but the hard fact is, you can't. If you do home-school, be sure to take your child to the local park, community center, children's library, an amusement park, and/or other places where children socialize, on a regular basis. That will offset the isolation and help her/him integrate and learn necessary social skills.

Edit: Ummm... WHY the two "thumbs down"??? Whoever did that, you want to drop me an email and EXPLAIN, please??? I was just trying to give my best advice. Jeeeeeeeez, people.

Answer 29

Families are not isolated unless they allow themselves to be. Your whole family should get out and make friends in the community. Homeschool can actually make that easier and more fun. Go for it!

We homeschool and we love it!

Gypsy: I gave you a thumbs down because you were wrong. Bullying is not a normal part of life. Are you bullied at work? Are you harassed on the streets? Are you battered in your relationships? Teaching children to expect abuse is not preparing them to be healthy adults. I've volunteered with enough battered women to know that they were all raised to believe they could never escape abuse either. I'm sorry if this is your reality, but do not push it off on everyone else. I hope you find freedom from this illusion.