We were friends for about a yr and a half b4 we got involved. He claimed to like me all that time and made it very clear he was interested, and I made it clear I wasn't until 18 months later. She has an 8 yr old son that is not his. She cheated on him and got pregnant during their 8 yeatr relationship. They had been together about 5-6 yrs prior to that. He decided to stay with her during the pregnancy and signed the birth cert, giving the child his first and last name. She got married to someone else several months b4 he and I became exclusive and as soon as she got word, she became very jealous and best friends with his mom and together, they have been conspiring against he and I to break up ever since. I also had hang ups about the child being in his life still and told him in the begining of our courtship not to consider me in a marriage prep relationship if he felt he would have a hard time cutting ties with that wholesituation, child and all. She's married, he has a new step father and she's disrespectful and I foresaw nothing but trouble ahead, Turned out I was right. It also felt to me at times that he still ad feelings for her. he agreed to cut ties until his own mother and the ex gave him slack about and began to play emotional games with him and the child, brining him around often to guilt triphim into changing his mind. The child is handicapped
(cerebal palsy) and my then boyfriend got sick at a very young age with kidney failure, so for various reasons his heart went out to this child and I know he does lovehim. I felt in my heart, that a lot of the things he would do, babysitting, going half with her on things financially and her calling him for what I considered to be personal favors, just hiding behind the child, while I am being a devoted sincere woman to him with the prosepct of marriage in mind, his actions to me in many ways, included talking to her on the phone everyday, because her son calls hime everyday, then they have todiscuss blh blah/. What makes it worse, he stays with his mother, since he got the transplant and she comes by when she feels like it, lies to her husband just to be up in his face. I resent his mother because she is a part of it and they both resent me for telln ghim that I want him to cut ties with the child because of her so that we can move on with our lives. They both also wan the and the ex to get back together. They are intimitaed by me because I am young, in my twenties, educated, and have my own business. They are ghetto hood rat trash. They can't believe he did so much better than them and they are both very jealous. Just because he considers me the better pick, the reality is that he has been with this woman for a very long time and he can very possibly still love her. I asked him repeatedly throughout our relationship whether or not there was more to this than just child and he would alway deny and feelings for her until a few months ago. he admitted that in the begining he did still love her and that crushed me so badly. I believe in my heart that it was longer than just in the begining becaue we went through so much drama, and I had to be the one to stop him from doing personal favors for him, make him make a stink about her comong to the house whenever she felt like it using the child as an excuse, her alwasy coming to family functions knowing I will be there and telling family members that she's still ging to see him and that I have nothing on her , they have 10 yrs in she will alwasy come first blah blah. His mother told me at one tim e when we were on speaking terms that her son was confused and didn't really know what he wanted and that I was going to get hurt. I didn't take heed. I felt she had her own motives (doesn't mean she wasn't right) I don't mean to sound petty, but every time he has that child which now he obligated himself to every other weekend which I think is rediculous for someone who not yours and she'smarried (
when she was dating other men and then got engaged he and I wwere still just friends, and he told me a lot about his feelings for her and how he was hurt and felt that a nother man was taking his family from him) those thooughts never left me and I lived with this hurtful suspition for three yrs now and he clams to love and need me and wants me not to give up on him, and still professes to to be willing to cut ties with this child. We've been down this road so much and it alwasy ends up the same, he feels guilty and says the child needs him, and eventually starts treating me like the enemy because I have a hard time accepting it and I am hurt a nd agry and resentful aeverytime I know he has to make contact with her to see her child or get him for a weekend, I don't see how this can be worked out. Even if he does truly love me now, I'm spent. I gave my best and sincereity and though I still love him, I just don't have it inme to go another round of this uncertanty. Am I unreasonable to feel that he may still and always love her and if I chose to be his wife I would just have to live with that. As it stood throughout our relationship, the sdecision was that he could not bring that child to our home even....after we got married. I don't want to be reminded of a woman he may still ove and loved so much at one time that he'd be willing to tak eher in with a child that he was cheated on. It all just seems to unfair. Especially when I believe that he still has a spot in his heart for her. I feel like I was rebound and used to get over her, but now he knows he screwed up in many ways. He even tries to convinveme that I am taking it the wrong way and that he just had friendly feelings towrad her and who in their righ tmind would tell a woman he wanted to be with that they still had feelings for their ex? I dont; feel that's a good enough excuse. H e said he was afriad to tell me becaue he didn't want to lose me. I think that was selfish and he should have waited until he was completely over her b4 he started new with somone else. Worse yet, he has still has to interact with her to see her child. In my opinion, he never be completely detached....nonetheless, over her
Tags: