I saw a video of my husband and ex-wife having s*x?

Question

At home I was cleaning out cupboards and throwing out old videos - I came across one tucked away under the unit - I wasnt sure what it was - to my shock it was a home made video of about 3 minutes of my husband of four years with his ex-wife. We have a good s*x life and are open minded, and when I had asked him before if he had ever made movies or taken naughty photos (I had!) in his previous relationships he said no. Question: Why would he hide and keep this video - I confronted him and he said it was an experiment one day and he forgot he had it (yeah right) - to me it is a total lack of respect as I have kept nothing from my previous partners or my ex-husband that would make my husband feel insecure or upset. How should I handle this? What does it mean?

Answer 1

OH unlike most of the people, i think you should DESTROY the tape instead of just throw it away.

You never know who will find it......

Answer 2

you need to let this one go- we men do things in our past that no mater how honest we want to be with our new mate ( loved one ) we just don't think you will understand. So we just don't say anything. It's in the past , leave it there ...  by the way at least your getting some my wife of 12 years has cut me off the last 3 years --------  so good luck to you

Answer 3

I'd looove to have a tape of my wife when she was younger, with some other guy.  That would be sooo kinky.  I'd tell her I was throwing it away, but then I'd hide it and keep it and take it on business trips to watch in the hotel room.

But, I can see where a woman wouldn't necessarily get that from an old tape of her hubby w/ ex.  It just seems different.  

Throw it away.  

Hey, wait, can I buy it?  If you put it on ebay I'll paypal  you five dollars plus postage.

Answer 4

Wait wait...Now your married? In your previous question you called him your partner and said you were living with him for about a year...

Hmmmm.. I'm sensing your bull$hitting...  

Answer 5

It means that he wants to keep it to get his rocks hard at night when ur sleeping Or when ur  just not giving him any, either way its wrong, 1. he lied to you about making the video, 2.he kept it, which is completely wrong, why the h**l would he want to keep a sexual video of his ex wife, that's just soo wrong on soo many levels, you guys need to talk seriously, Talk to him ASAP, about it, Or get counselling!

Answer 6

he probably was afraid you would take it the wrong way and get upset with him. thats how i would feel if my girl asked me about something like that. he just hoped you would never find it. or he really did forget cause guys are known to do that lol

Answer 7

Like the other answers have said, it means nothing.  He was obviously worried that you'd be upset if he told you that he had made a tape.  By getting mad at him, you've proved him right.  Just toss it out or better yet, record the two of you over it.

Answer 8

Making the video wouldn't be an issue for me that fact that he lied is mess up, why he kept it who knows that would be my biggest problem but I would brake that s*** to pieces for starters.

Answer 9

It means this, the video sexually excites him.  The next question is should you be upset with this. I'd look at it like this, there is no such thing as total disclosure or total honesty.  Humans are too fallible for such a thing.  At least he's keeping it in his pants and staying at home.  I don't know, be pissed, but is it really going to solve anything?  He needs to apologize at least.

Answer 10

If you could find that video then it was not hided from you. In this type of details of the life men are usually more forgetful than women. So do not deal with this question. If somebody had an ex, then they had s*x, and the details are not so interesting. Maybe you can use that video as exciting tool for your present s*x; you wrote that you are open minded.  

Answer 11

maybe he thought if he told you it would make you upset...who knows maybe he felt hurt when you told him you made a video with your ex, and didnt make one with him.  Either way it wasnt right he lied..but dont make a big deal out of it...throw out the video, and make your own with him.

Answer 12

Throw it away and forget it ever happened.

Answer 13

Oh for Chrissakes just toss it out and be done with it.

"What does it mean"?

It's a goddamn homemade s*x tape....it means nothing.

Answer 14

Come on, he is just embarrased about it. Just forgive. BTW who is perfect?

Answer 15

You found it, he did not want you to find it...obviously so he was caught and wanted to confront you in a way that would njot hurt your feeligns or mess up your relationship...these are good lies...I mean...no lie is good but it was a lie told with good intentions. Its still wrong...but I am sure he is kicking himself over it. If he is...let it go....otherwise this can escalate to bigger issues that you dont want. He obviously is in love wiht you still...this is all that matters