I shared this a few nights ago, but wanted to again, what do you think of my poem?

Question

Everything depicted in this poem happened to me, soo, thats why i wrote it

~Game Over~

You were so hard to forget

Coolest guy I'd ever met

You had the qualities those other guys lacked

Or was that just a stupid act?

Did you think you could take advantage of me?

Did you really believe I couldn't see

My heart, in your hands

A part of your game to see where each piece lands

Well, you need new material, my friend

Because this "game" has reached a dead end

I hurt too much, too long

Dwelling on you and your g*y love song

I see clearly the mess that lies at our feet

But it's not mine to clean, so I'll take a seat

As you try to make this disappear

Wait, didn't I make it clear?

You lost at your own game

I know I'm not the one to blame

I hope you drown in the tears I know you won't cry

Because you have that "macho man" pride

But let me tell you, my tears are dried

Our friendship's died

So take off your mask, and tell all your fans

That it's game over, you had your chance

Answer 1

Good. Don't say you're not sophisticated enough not to rhyme. Byron, Shelley, Keats etc. rhymed. If you want to work on free verse, that's cool, you should always grow as a writer, but be happy where you are now, 'cause it's not bad.

Answer 2

thats a really nice poem but you tried to rhyme  to much and poems are not always about that..

You were so hard to forget

Coolest guy I'd ever met

You had the qualities those other guys lacked

Or was that just a stupid act?

Did you think you could take advantage of me?

Did you really believe I couldn't see

My heart, in your hands

A part of your game to see where each piece lands

Well, you need new material, my friend

Because this "game" has reached a dead end

I hurt too much, and too long

Dwelling on you and your stupid love song

I see clearly the mess that lies at our feet

But it's not mine to clean, so I'll take a seat

As you try to make this disappear

Wait, didn't I make it clear?

You lost at your own game

I know I'm not the one to blame

I hope you drown in the tears I know you won't cry

Because you have that "macho man" pride

But let me tell you, my tears are forever gone

Our friendship's has no meaning for long

So take off your mask, and tell all your fans

That it's game over, you had your chance.

but that was a really great poem i just put i few things in i thought was cute to add in your poem!! great work.

Answer 3

I loved your poem! I actually find it hard to rhyme in my poems, and you did it very well! It's a good style for you.

I really enjoyed your poem.

Answer 4

i love rhyming poems and i like your style of writing. :)

i personally think the poem's great.