I slept with a married man, now I feel used...can I file a sexual harrasment suit?

Question

Thought he was in love with me, but ever since I had s*x with him, all he does is avoid me at work like it never happened. I feel so used and I'm angry. I hate going to work now and running into that SOAB. He's older than me and has a higher position than me, should I sue so this doesn't happen to anyone else?

Answer 1

he didn't force you, you know that he is married, so why blaming him now?

Answer 2

Was it consensual,did you know he was married?You might have less humiliation if you look for another job.This man is a predator,he used you,and I bet you was not the first.It is not a law suit but,divorce might be in his future.DON'T SLEEP WITH MARRIED MEN.Lots of nasty things can happen,and you will always be the one that pays.

Answer 3

I don't think you can sue someone just because you are mad at them. I'd tell his wife & all your co-workers, that should be punishment enough.

The more I think about it, the more I think you should tell his wife...she has a right to know and to decide if she wants to get out of the relationship herself. Send her a letter detailing time, place, something weird and personal about his body.  

I hate sneaking slime balls.

Answer 4

No body forced you into this, you slept with him....

PLUS: He's avoiding you, these for you have NO case for sexual harrasment, and if you go in with a case saying, It's harrasment becaseu he's ignoring me, you'll be laughed at.

You got played, live wwith it, but remember you were an active participant.

Have we learned our lesson yet?

Answer 5

I'd say this is your own fault. You shouldn't have slept with a married man. That's bad.

Plus, sexual harrassment? Are you kidding? You consented to everything. Ain't like he raped you or something...

Answer 6

i am very sorry to hear that but truth is that that was your decision but now you want ravage  what you can do call at his home and talk to his wife and let her know everything tell her how he was express his love to you if you want to teach him a llessonjust give a call to his wife

Answer 7

you're mad at him for making you feel used. well,what do you think his wife would think of you? i'm imagining she'd think you were a tramp, s**t, home wrecker but that's just me.

Answer 8

Sorry that you fell into the trap, it happens to a lot of young ladies.  You could file a complaint with the HR department and see if any action results from your complaint.  You can use this as a lesson learned and it will never happen to you again.  Good luck.

Answer 9

I really doubt you are looking out for anyone else! You want to sue just so it doesn't happen to anyone else? If you win what do you do with the money, give it to charity LOL.

Anyway any lawyer would probably laugh you out of his or her office.

Just learn your lesson and move on.

Answer 10

You should go for more bangs with him and every time, jot down your feelings. By the end of about a year , you can write a book that could be best novel.

Answer 11

I don't know much about law but i don't think you can sue him just because he doesn't like you anymore. By the sound of it you totally consented to everything so sexual harassment doesn't really apply.  

Answer 12

No..you slept with him because you wanted to.  You chose to believe he loved you to make yourself feel better. Just deal with it and move on. He is a loser anyway.

Answer 13

It's not his fault you were roped into his game and believed all of his lies...

oh well, just live and learn and you will be better prepared for the next time this happens...just chalk it up as experience, i guess.

Answer 14

Just because you chose to have s*x with someone in your office and now you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean you get to file a suit against him.

Questions: DID he harrass you? Meaning, is advances were unwanted? Did he promise you a promotion if you slept with him? Is he punishing you professionally now that you are no longer together?

If your answers are no, then it sounds like you simply made the wrong choice and regret it now. Don't tarnish his name with a sexual harrassment suit when he in fact did not harrass you.

Answer 15

I think technically you can sue...

It sounds like you want to sue more for your own feelings than so it doesn't happen to anyone else. But there's nothing wrong with that! Nothing worse than a woman scorned.

Answer 16

Your first mistake was sleeping with a married man.  If he loved you, he would have divorced his wife and been with you by now.  If he didn't rape you, how do you feel you can sue him if you both consented to it.  

Answer 17

this has probably happened to others before... yes sue. it is sexual harassment. even more so if he is higher in rank that you. beware of the fall out on you as well though. youmight just want to find a more personal way to let him know this is no OK...

Do a little research around the office and see if anyone else in in your boat...

Answer 18

You can't sue over regrets.  There was no harassment here.  You slept with him because: you were incredibly horny, you thought he was in love with you, you are easy, you thought he would promote you, you thought he was swinging a massive meat maul, whatever.  Sounds like along with being younger, you are also naive (or stupid).

If we were to get together and discuss this, I might be able to help you get past this.  Did I mention I might be in love with you?

Answer 19

Ok, it is because of women like you that the term 'sexual harrassment' is out of control!!

YOU had s*x with him.  You are an adult.  You know that men (and women) sometimes use one another for s*x.  You got used.  Deal with it.  

How is avoiding you sexual harrassment?????  He probably realized what he did was totally wrong and he regrets it ever happened.  He probably feels like throwing up when he thinks about what he did.

Don't mess w/ married men!!  You will get hurt every time!!

Answer 20

If you knew he was married then you shouldn't have slept with him. He may be avoiding you because he realizes he made a mistake. HE IS MARRIED!!! Quit being a home wrecker and find a single man to get involved with and you may not have this problem. Honestly, did you think that just because you spread your legs he was gonna up and leave his wife and just come to you and you guys live happily ever after. Don't be dumb all your life. If he's dogging out his own wife then what were your chances that he was gonna really treat you any better. You should have seen that coming.

Answer 21

Everything happens for a reason, it may hurt but it's the truth. Would you really want to go through with filing charges? In the end, if you won and he had charges against him, would it really change anything? It wouldn't. You need to take this as a lesson learned, and move on. Walk into the office with your head high, and forget it happened. Don't dwell on it; there is no good that will come out of that and you will feel much better if you don't. You should have known better sleeping with a married man, but it's okay everyone makes mistakes. Just forgive yourself!  

Answer 22

Find another job.  You slept with him voluntarily.  Now if he was routinely smacking you on the *** at work, that's sexual harassment.  Next time, keep your legs closed and leave other women's husbands alone.

Answer 23

If it was consensual s*x then No u cannot, not b/c a married man had s*x w/u and he used u in the process(which BTW that's what they do), doesn't mean that u can just sue them or plead rape b/c the feelings weren't mutual, that's what you get for sleeping w/ a married man, pay back's a ***** huh!,  

Answer 24

u cant sue because 1 you could have resisted 2 hes avoiding u cause he had an affair with you and plus its not sexual harrasment because you wern't forced into it so its not sexual harrasment sorry for not telling you what you wanted to hear

Answer 25

Don't think you have grounds, after all it takes two and if you went willingly without promises of promotions or other such then you weren't coursed or threatened you had s*x with him willingly which makes you as guilty as he is. Never put out unless you get a signed and sealed marriage license first is the best policy that way you aren't unwed mother, single mom or worse got some std to deal with. Play it safe and be smart. Girls who put out willingly can't expect anything in return. Women who prostitute themselves can't expect anything other than the agreed on price. If a John cheats them then they have right of recourse. Even though prostitution is illegal in most states there are laws.  

Answer 26

Everyone knows that no good comes out of sleeping with anyone who is married.  And a co-worker.  Honestly you set yourself up for heartbreak and since it was consensual you cannot claim anything.  Except contact his wife and let her know which she has every right to know what her husband does.  I would call him out and tell her and not to  be mean but bc you were mislead by him and let her know that as well.  One of my ex husbands mistresses and told me and was very regretful but that was bc he lied to her about me and I thank her all the time (we aren't friends) for telling me the truth and divorcing him.

Answer 27

The definition of sexual harassment is  bit murky. I don't think you didn't want to have s*x with him at the time. He had s*x with you at most under false pretenses. He may have also changed his mind in the sense that he realized cheating on his wife with you was not something he could deal with. Companies do have policies against superiors have s*x with people under them. The reason for this is that superiors could demand sexual favors of people who they control in the work environment threatening to fire or demote or promise to promote. You should check your employee handbook or with HR. If you go to HR though they may pry and you could get fired yourself for engaging in this type of behavior.You should have thought about this before consenting a married boss isn't some one you should be hooking up with. Even if he wasn't your boss but you knew he was married he wasn't free to see other people and would most likely cut off all ties once his carnal urges were satisfied. If it helps you should get him alone and discuss it with him. Make it clear that his behavior as well as your own were inappropriate and have now made the working environment uncomfortable. I would go see a therapist for you own sense of well being. What was it that he did or said that made you believe that having a sexual relationship with him was a good idea? Do you have some self esteem issues that lead you to settle for something like this?  

Answer 28

Talk to a lawyer, you have a very good case.  But I think you are being a spiteful little baby, you did it to get ahead, you knew he was married, and now because you weren't all that to him and your little feelings are hurt you want to sue.

Congratulations and enjoy your money, but in the end you will still be what you feel like a little s***k.

Answer 29

I don't think you should worry about it happening to anyone else.  Most women have more than two working brain cells in their head.  If you slept with a married man, then you are the one who has issues.  Try some self confidence building workshops, or maybe some mental help.....

Answer 30

Suing him isn't going to stop it from happening to you or anyone else, because this isn't sexual harassment. Suing that one person want stop it from happening to all the females in the world.  Everyday, this(s*x) happens to people all around the world.  U have to learn from your actions and the things that follow.  U can't file sexual harassment on something that you said yes to.  How can you feel used, when you already knew he married, come on be smart about this.  You have to deal with this head on.  U want to sue him to hurt him, but suing him to hurt him isn't going to mend your heart or anger.  

Answer 31

u cant just file a harassment suit because u got played. u knew he was married, and u were being alittle homewrecker. this is why you dont play where you work and have some respect for yourself and i dunno, maybe think about how the wife would feel if she found out.  remember what goes around comes around..