I split w/my boyfriend last week. i'm in his sisters wedding next week. should i still be in it? or even go?

Question

we've been together for almost 3 years and his family treats me like family. his sister wants me to still be a bridesmaid and i already have my dress but i think it will be weird to walk in the church and reception with him since we just broke up. i still want to be there i just don't know if i should actually be in the wedding anymore.

Answer 1

First of all, you are doing this for her, not for her brother. She asked you to be a bridesmaid way before you and her brother broke up so it's only fair to fulfill the obligation. At least you're showing that you're being a true friend, despite the current situation you're in.

As for odd number in the bridesmaid, maybe the maid of honor can walk by herself, this way the bridesmaid each have their own groom to walk down the aisle with? Just a thought.  

Answer 2

I'd still go.  The bride cares about you personally, not just your relationship with her brother.  I think it'd be fine to bail after the ceremony and not stick around for the reception if you find it too awkward but at least still take part in the ceremony.

Answer 3

You can't back out the wedding so close to the event. Just suck it up and focus on the bride. It's about her, not you or the ex.  

Answer 4

Show that you are a good person.  Go to the wedding!  You don't want to make it difficult for the sister.  If she still wants you in it, do it!    

Answer 5

yes go just because you guys broke up don't take it out on his sister just do what you have to do and leave

Answer 6

I say still go not to disappoint the family. And at least show to him that you still want to remain in contact even if just as friends. I say still go to show your respect for his family, since they still are welcoming you with open arms.  

Answer 7

Talk to the bride, even though you and your boyfriend broke up, that doesn't nessicarily mean you and the bride's friendship has to too. She asked you to be a bridesmaid because of you, not just because you were dating her brother. Tell her you are a bit uncomfortable, but you shouldn't let that stop you from sharing her special day with her. And your ex will eat his heart out when he sees you in your beautiful gown :-)

Answer 8

If the bride wants you there, go. Its her call. Especially if you will remain friends with her.

But if you probably wont keep up a friendship with her in the future, I think you should back out and just be a guest at the wedding.

Answer 9

I would say go. But if you feel uncomfortable then don't. So its all up to you. Maybe you should try and talk to his sister  about this. Maybe she ca help you out.

Answer 10

you should still go and not ruin her wedding

you can still be civil and friends?

Answer 11

Yeah, that's a tough one.  If the Bride wants you in the wedding, and it's so close to the date, you're obligated to her to participate.  

There's nothing that says you have to stay past dinner.  But staying till the cake is cut and then leaving wouldn't be seen as being in poor taste if the emotions are just too much for you.

Friendly or not, I wouldn't count on being friends with the family for too long after the Wedding.  Family usually sides with family, and wouldn't want to make either of you feel awkward.  Think of it as a time to celebrate.. perhaps even say goodbye in your mind, if you can take it emotionally... and then let them go.

Of course, if you've promised to perform other duties for the Wedding (such as gather centerpieces after the cememony, gifts, etc), sadly, you are going to have to stay throughout the night.

You're in a tough spot right now, darlin.  Be strong.  You're going to be just fine.  And keep your distance from the Ex... no need to rub your face in it.

Good luck...

Answer 12

It would be a huge imposition on the bride if you were to back out now.  You are going to need to do your best to be an adult about this.  Yes, it will be weird and awkward, but in the grand scheme, it's less than a day out of your whole life, and I promise that you will survive.

If anyone questions you (which I'm sure they won't) just say, "It's a little odd to be here, but I could never let Lisa down, so here I am!  Let's go get some punch."

Answer 13

If there's an odd number of bridesmaids, it's not like it will look weird if you're not there.  I wouldn't go- it will just be too hard for you.  I once made the mistake of attending my ex's sister's bridal shower after we broke up, and it was so awkward and sad, even though he wasn't there, because people kept asking me about it and I was so uncomfortable.  I know you care about these people, but you can't continue to treat your ex's family like they're your family, or it will just get harder for you to move on.  Don't go- his sis will understand.

Answer 14

Talk to the bride, see what she wants. I think it would be irresponsible for you just to drop out. If you and your ex-boyfriend are on good terms (neither of you did something embarrassing or cruel to end your relationship).

Answer 15

Set your feelings aside for the day, keep your chin up, and stand by the Bride on her wedding day as originally planned.  Of course it will be difficult, but you can do it!  It is during stressful times like these that a person's true character is revealed.  Show your character and integrity by fulfilling your original promise and commitment.

Best wishes.