I start school tomorrow but what if they start... again?!? please help me!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

Well last year this girl Narda (yeah Narda) and this boy Hugo started rumors about me. it all started when I acused him and his friends from touching themselfs in class and making "noises" (gross I don´t want to see or heare that!!) Well they got angry, I mean ANGRY like enough to HIT me and my stuff. I told me so called friend Narda and she agread I had done the right thing but when we went back in class she turned against me and said EVERYTHING we talked about was a lie just so they wouldn´t get mas at her. So a week went by and I didn´t talk to theme but HUgo made me feel guilty so I apologized on msn with him but he wouldn´t acceptso I sure as h**l wasn´t gonig to beg so I left it at that. So one day I got invited to a party (a kid with 0 friends) so I went and he was there with her and his GROSS friends. I left the party like 4 hours later and whene I got home he was logged on and sarted to talk. I thught he wanted to be friends but he started say things like; Oh nobody even noticed you at the party and thing so i ignored him but then he started to call me a bit*h and a sl*t so I said "You as* I don´t give a sh** about you and you´re friends (the guys that touch their *****)" and left. The next day I found out he had printed the conversation BUT just SOME parts and he made it seem as if I had said that I di´dn´t care about any of my classmates and Narda who is supposed to be my friend BELIVED HIM. I noticed she was mad but when I asked why she said "no I promised him I wouldn´t tell you, but it´s something really really aufull (what!!!!!!! How am I supposed to know "what I did wrong if she doesn´t say" but i imagined what he had done and found out through other people.

Well that was at the end of the year and know I´m afraid they´ll make everyone belive them again and make my life h**l (I mean last year they didn´t know but they really made my life HARD) well they´re like the popular ones iin the school (they´re not a couple but she´s the girl who isn´t afraid to... show too much if you know what i mean (she´s kissed every boy in the school) and he totally likes her and he´ll do anything for her that´s the only reason this happend (Narda and I don´t really get along she doesn´t like the fact that the new girl got better grades than her for example I´m in mexico but i lived 10 years in USA so my English is better etc.. so she HATES me). She makes herself seem really inoccent and nice but she isn´t (you know the typ)

But anyways, I´m scared they will try to make it hard on me again and i don´t know what to do?!?! was it the right thing telling the teacher they were touching their privates (I know it feels "good"v to them but they need to do that in privte)?! and last but not least how do I make people know what really happendor at least make friends (I´m really shy)?!?!

Pleeeeeeeeeeeease help me I don´t know what to do I´m so shy and I´m not a social person (I don´t like to be a mess in class there are other places to have a good time but aperantly you do to be cool) I prefer to read instead of flirting/kissing with boys. I´m a really nice person thou once you get to know me and I just need that chance from my classmates. Thanks for healping and please be explicite.

P.S I´m 13 almost 14 and so are they (but she sure doesn´t act like it.)

P.P.S Oh and if you can please answer one of my other questions about a crush i have =P thanks!!

Answer 1

they probably forgot if not just ignore them and be confident

Answer 2

I am a teacher, who has seen these types of things gping on in the school. Rumors are very damaging to thoses involved. I suggest you talk to an adult counselor. You will read and study hard and remove yourself from the friends that spread rumors. Tell it like it is for the new friends you will get. Some people live in the dramas they can create from rumors. Set yourself up higher than thoses ploys. Best Wishes; you are not alone.  

Answer 3

just ignore them and don't give them the satisfaction that they want

Answer 4

In four years time, when you're in college, you'll look back to this life crisis and laugh.  By then, you'll be a better judge of character and know how to make friendships with good people.

We've all been through this in some similar way.  You are hardly alone.  In fact, having early experience to this type of person at 13 will help you in the long run.  Even as adults, we can be in academic or professional or personal situations where people slander us and ridicule us.

Should you have told your teacher?

Yes, No 12 year-old, or even a 50 year-old, should be subjected to indecent behavior.  Not only is it against school policy, what they did may also be against the law, depending where you live.  

Why did they make up lies about me?

To retaliate against you for telling the teacher.  As you get older and are in the US, what you did is known as "whistle blowing".  There are laws in place here to protect whistle blowers from those that retaliate against them...a common occurrence.

Should I have apologized to Hugo?

No, if anything, HE owed YOU the apology.  You don't say how he made you feel guilty enough to do this, but he was able to talk you into it.  As a shy girl, you need to work on expressing YOUR own feelings to others.  This actually comes much more easily for woman than men.  Work on it.  In a few years if this happens again, you will be able to persuade the real, guilty party to apologize.

Should you have stayed FOUR hours at the party?

NO.  Once you saw the Partyboy was friends with the Bad Boys, you should have stayed just long enough to be polite to the host and spend a little time chatting with new people or your friends there.  No more than 30-40 minutes.  Anything more than this gives them an opportunity to make up more lies about what you did at the party.

Should you have chatted online with the Partyboy?

Once you were at the party, you saw he had also invited the bad boys to it and was friendly with them.  Put 2+2 together.  He's their friend and boys stick together even better than girls.  

No, you should have distrusted him as soon as you saw him online and waiting for you.  If that wasn't a big enough clue, the bad-mouthing he gave you about noone noticing you at the party should have been enough for you to excuse yourself and get offline.  Again, another lesson learned at an early age.

What do you do about the slanderous, edited text he created and showed to his friends and Narda?

First, who exactly did he show it to?  Is Narda or those boys people you care about...your friends?  No, they aren't.  As to anyone else he showed it to, if they are good people, they will judge you by YOUR actions, not by hearsay from the Partyboy.

At this point in time, just put it behind you.  Just try to act with more class than they could possibly have.  People will know the truth soon enough by your conduct...and theirs.  If the Bad Boys know the lies upset you, it will only give them joy and make them want to do more to upset you now, so they can laugh at you.  Just ignore it (and them) and always be cool and calm with a smile on your face, no matter what is going on inside.  Don't give them any clue they upset you.

How do you deal with Narda & The Boys now?

You will smile at them and be polite.  You will not go any further then that.  These are some bad people and you want to minimize both your exposure to them and any harm they may still seek to do you.  You don't want any scenes.  Just calm and cool and smile.  Keep it as short as possible with them.

I am shy and don't make friends easily, what do I do?

You will become in "extracurricular" events...which means "outside of class".  Does your school have any clubs like language clubs, drama, debate, etc?  Join some you're interested in and you will make friends there with others who share your interests.  Also, what about sports?  Music?  Dance?  How about social activities at your church or in your neighborhood?  Join some of these and your interest in what you are doing with others will overcome your shyness, since they like the same things you do.

If there are any "new kids" in your school this year, they are going to feel strange and awkward, dying to have a friend.  Be a friend to them IF you think they are good people.  You need to work on being a good judge of character so you aren't around any bad people this year.  You want to build a strong support system for yourself both inside school and outside.

Once you've got a good group of friends from inside and outside of school, think of giving YOUR own party.  DON'T invite any of the bad kids.  Target Christmas time for your get together, even if it's just two or three other people.

That's your assignments for this year.  Let us know how you make out!

1. Report improper sexual activity

2. Learn to articulate your feelings

3. Do not stay somewhere for more than 30-40 minutes (I usually do 10) where your enemies are lurking

4. Boys have great loyalty to one another.  Be careful of contact with those who may be friends of your enemies.  

5. Minimize online chats in general, use the phone

6. Be calm, cool and collected and smile when you must talk to the enemies again.  Keep it short.  Stay on-guard.

7. No matter how upset your enemies make you, don't let them know they've upset you.

8. Make a very serious effort to join other activities like clubs, sports, music, etc. that you will enjoy and make friends with others who enjoy it too.

9. Make friends with the good, new people at your school...they are more scared and shy than you.

10. Think of hosting your own Christmas get-together.

Report back in a few months.  Good luck to you!

Answer 5

i agree with jen ignore them and i know what your going through and i'm goin bak to school this year cause i've been homeschooled but only thing is people don't mess with me cause they know if they make me mad i'll punch em in their neck and if they make me like really angry i'll throw em threw the lockers i'm a gurl u don't wanna mess with lol but just don't respond to anything they say cause go threw your hole life and ppl say stuff like that but it's the way you react to things and don't let em bother you cause it's not worth it and they're not worth it walk up to the kids and say yea your funny but you know looks arn't everything(only if they really make you mad) and u could also say it takes 100 muscles to frown but only 4 muscles to stick up your middle finger and ssay bite me....(pause) would you like so ice for that bbbbuuuurrrrnnnn lol